Well, it's pretty easy to figure out WHY "Access Hollywood" (predatory fucking VULTURES that they are, the republicunt blow-pop-headed motherfuckers) "refused" to keep reporting on every dribble to ooze out of Octopussy's HOV-Lane cunt. Because "Entertainment Tonight" got the EXCLUSIVE. Every single motherfucking day, they are subjecting the public to that pretentious, ignorant-assed, sociopathic, fetish-obsessed, plastic-surgery-mutant, phony-assed FREAK.
I can NOT be the only person who's noticed how much Nadya's fake voice (I dunno whom she hired for "elocution lessons," but they RIPPED HER THE FUCK OFF) SOUNDS LIKE A HALF-ASSED, LOW-RENT IMPRESSION OF CAROL CHANNING!???!?! I finally figured it out, THAT'S why her enunciation is SO fucking CREEPY!!! Carol should sue. Though Octopussy should have already sued her strip-mall plastic "surgeons" for those giant vagina-lips on her rearranged face.
And the last comment on the pop-culture paparazzi parasites: "Access Hollywood" has instituted, first time ever, "Abuse Awareness Month," as a cover for their bone-pickingly prurient JOY at discussing the Rihanna beat-down and none-too-subtle SUPPORT for that woman-beating little closet-case BITCH Chris Brown.
This has nothing to do with STOPPING domestic violence, it is not intended to TEACH ANYONE how to recognize and get the fuck OUT of an abusive relationship, it is nothing but getting-their-sick-twisted-rocks-off-on-hospital-pictures voyeurism. They run 10 to 20-second clips of various celebrities (and the gawdess/force of nature known as Tina Turner) "confessing" their "abuse stories," but do they put it into any kind of context, or even try to make those VERY random clips somehow RELEVANT to what that little girl Rihanna is going through? Fuck no. It's just another parasitic-bottom-feeder frothing-at-the-mouth feeding frenzy, getting little chubbies over pictures of women with bruised, swollen, lacerated, and bleeding faces. And yes, there IS a distinct sexual-paraphilia definition for that sexual fetish, and a former "friend," a stealth sexist who fooled me for a LONG damned time, made sure to take THIRTY POLAROID PHOTOS of his own wife's face after she'd had sinus/nose/septum surgery, BECAUSE HE GOT HARD OVER THE BRUISES. I shit y'all not. Why I didn't follow my gut and get way the fuck away from that platonic prick, I have no idea. It was the 1990s, we were supposed to be "tolerant" of EVERYBODY'S kinks, whether they were healthy/humane or not. Supposedly.
Anyway, back to there's-nothing-the-fuck-on-over-the-rabbit-ears department: That little toy-sized, blow-pop-headed republicunt misogynist Billy Bush was EVER so pompous and holier-than-thou about "dropping" the Octopussy coverage, and YET, the very fucking NIGHT OF the beat-down that the little PRISON BITCH Chris Brown put on Rihanna, HE (Bush) was the FIRST MOTHERFUCKER ON EARTH to AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME that the "man" (man, my ass!) was RIGHT and that the "girl" (his word) was TRYING TO RUIN CHRIS BROWN'S MOTHERFUCKING CAREER.
Yeah, thaaaaaaaaaaaaat's why she almost lost a retina, will probably have to have reconstructive surgery, and pressed the fucking charges. To fuck up HIS career. Y'all just wait and watch: if she goes back to him, they'll probably ENCOURAGE it, the media, the record labels, the radio douchebags, insisting that she APOLOGIZE to him for calling the cops. If the sickening supermarket tabloid "magazines" are lying, as always, and she DOESN'T go back to that woman-hating little maggot, then SHE is the one who'll be BLACKBALLED off of her label and out of the business. Y'all just wait. Yes, Tina overcame her enslavement to Ike, and became a thousand times the SUPERSTAR that that old chitlin-circuit PIG could ever even ASPIRE TO; because she was TINA FUCKING TURNER. Just anybody would never achieve what she has, because far too many women will never achieve her level of wisdom, drive, or character. I can only hope that her example will help spare other women her pain.
Whatever happens to Rihanna, I hope that she is safe, that she has LEARNED from this, and that she will NEVER let that dog-fucking piece of shit back into her life, ever the fuck again. I hope that she gets the medical and psychological/emotional treatment that she surely needs, to have stayed with that abusive fuck THIS LONG (the Grammys beat-down was NOT the first, nor was she the first woman he ever hit). I don't know how she was raised, or what kind of world she grew up in, but I hope to FUCK AND BACK that her Mama or Aunt or friends or SOMEBODY will explain to her just how fucking special, precious, and valuable that she and her life ARE, and that NO motherfucker, no matter how rich or connected or whatever he is, NO MOTHERFUCKER IS WORTH SACRIFICING YOUR VERY FUCKING LIFE. Period.
When it happened to me, the love died the minute that his fist made contact. I got one helluva beatdown, but I dealt out a good few shots my damned shelf, once my lungs & skull stopped screaming and my leg came up to kick the motherfucker off of me. I hope, that for Rihanna, that her youth and her obvious craving for male attention/approval will not hold her back, the way that it has Formerly Blonde Niece, who sacrificed her child's life/brain/spinal cord to an abusive green-card douchebag piece of shit. They (she and oldest niece) grew up watching their "father" and Psycho-Cunt mother duking it out, fists through walls, fists into faces, furniture flying, you fucking name it, FOR SIXTEEN FUCKING YEARS. I've done everything that I could to teach all of those girls (including their cousins) THAT IT ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THAT WAY. Obviously, I have been a very poor example, judging from some of the girls' taste in/dependency upon males (they are NOT "men") who have to keep them on the short leash, forever humiliated and abused. That's why this Rihanna thing pisses me off so much --- not just because of the slimy, parasitic, predatory, perverted fucking way that "teh pop culture" are manipulating the story and the situation --- but because that little girl could easily be one of my nieces. She deserves way the fuck better, and so do they.
And I hope that Harvey Levin, Billy Bush, Mary Hart, Maria Menunos, all of those fucking NEMATODES, die of long, slow, painful, invasive deaths of ass cancer and disintegrating bones. They sure as HELL don't possess hearts or spines, the greedy whores.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
As if we needed FURTHER proof that HUMANS FUCKING ***SUCK***...
There's this:
Found this pretty boy when I went out today to feed the semi-ferals here @ L'Hotel du Fucktards; somebody had dumped him in the parking lot, and he'd dragged himself over to the bushes @ the property line. Shattered right hip joint, huge to-the-bone cut on front paw, highly infected, obviously some dickhead hit him with a car. But the worst part is that he's been STARVED FOR MONTHS, you can SEE every bone in his body, but he's totally tame and affectionate and purred the whole time I've held him and tended to him. He wasn't thrilled when I soaked him in the kitchen sink (warm salt water), to get all of the dried blood, feces & mud out of his wounds & fur, not to mention half of the fucking ticks on the PLANET, and it breaks my heart when I make him cry, but it had to be done. No idea what in the fuck to do now, sure as hell can't afford to take him to the vet, and she does NOT do pro-bono work. Hoping that Elaine, the other Cat Haven lady, can take him, as she has some good vets who might tend to him for cheap or free.
Have I mentioned that humans fucking SUCK?!?!?!?!?!!!!
Not only did some sociopathic psycho-cunt STARVE THIS SWEET, LOVING CAT FOR ***MONTHS***, they fucking RAN HIM OVER, and when THAT didn't kill him, they DITCHED HIM *HERE,* FOR ME, as always, TO CLEAN UP THEIR FUCKING MESS.
This is not a feral cat, this is an indoor cat, who's been raised by people and lived with people for the majority of his life. He's at least 7 years old, judging from his teeth, so he's NEVER been treated right. When you can not only FEEL the bones but SEE THEM POKING UP THROUGH HIS FUR, he's been TORTURED. Enclosed, starved, and utterly bereft of comfort or security. It's not bad enough that we have sick motherfuckers in this country (and yes, especially in this STATE) who will trade their kids for a fucking COCKATOO, who will kill TODDLERS and DROP THEM INTO A RUBBERMAID CONTAINER AND THROW HER INTO THE FUCKING GULF OF MEXICO, oh, no, that's not enough for the SEVERELY DERANGED INBRED MOUTH-BREATHING REDNECK REPUBLICUNT MOTHERFUCKERS TO GET THEIR SADISTIC ROCKS OFF. No, they have to use ANIMALS as fucking TARGETS. Look into this boy's eyes: Even in this much pain, before I could even medicate him, he's got nothing but love to give.
I retired from the cat bidness for a fucking REASON, and that reason is that I'm not "allowed" to hunt-down and torture to death the paramecium-brained CUM-FARTS who DO THIS TO HELPLESS ANIMALS.
I'm not a vet, dammit, I am not trained nor equipped nor fiscally able to take care of injuries like this. I just hope that I've been able to comfort him and take away some of the pain for a little while, until I can find somebody who can truly fix him up. I'M A LIBERAL ARTS MAJOR, GAWDDAMMIT, I AM NOT TRAINED FOR THIS SHIT. And it's the RESPONSIBILITY of the parish, the town, and the gawddamned CASTE-SYSTEM *STATE* TO TAKE CARE OF ANIMALS, not broke-ass nobodies like me. But of course, here in Hillbilly HellHole, NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT ANIMALS, THEY'RE JUST HERE FOR THE MOUTH-BREATHERS' AMUSEMENT, or the dick-substitute/enhancement of KILLING THEM to supposedly "eat," when 90% of the yuppie-scum hunters who come up here from Baton Redneck Republicunt Rouge are TROPHY HUNTERS who just wanna get drunk and shoot guns. Far be it from any of THOSE motherfuckers to try and TAKE CARE OF ANIMALS, nor the mayor, nor the D.A., nor the idiotic excuse for "cops" who don't even know that THERE ARE LAWS AGAINST ANIMAL CRUELTY ON THE FUCKING ***BOOKS***. And don't even get me fucking STARTED on the embezzling, slave-labor-exploiting, alcoholic-moron "SHERIFF." Cocksuckers.
Anyway, that's all the rant I have time for tonight, I gotta do a full-body tick-check and take a long, hot bath. I didn't see any spotted ticks on the injured cat, but you can't take any chances, and I'm sure as HELL not going to let MY babies get infested. Here are the rest of the pictures, before and after my meager attempts at first-aid. And yes, there's a point to the recycled plastic grocery bag: He wouldn't let me keep his back leg in the sling, in order to immobilize the shattered or dislocated hip, so I put the sling back on, taped it together, and then tied the whole hindquarter up in the plastic bag, to keep him from pulling the sling (a hospital tie-on ice pack being repurposed). Cats fucking HATE to have plastic in their mouths, they hate plastic period, unless it's a toy that they can gut, so I'm hoping that the bag will keep him from aggravating that hip joint and the lacerated foot. The front foot is well-bandaged and doused in neosporin, and he doesn't seem to be messing with it or gnawing it off, so hopefully the wound won't abscess while it's bandaged.
If y'all EVER catch anybody doing this to a cat or dog or gnu or zebra or whatever, KILL THOSE LOWLIFE MOTHERFUCKERS FOR ME. Way too many fertile cats & dogs in this country, but far MORE too many EVIL, ANIMAL-TORTURING SO-CALLED "HUMANS", and we need to thin THEIR fucking herds.
And yes, I know that human beings the world over are having as bad or worse inflicted upon them by the oil-company thugs of Blackwater, Halliburton, Shaw Group, Bechtel, jack-leg "mercenaries," genocidal maniacs, pirates, illegitimate "governments," and worse. I know that there are millions of people, men, women and children, in damned near every country on this planet, who are being tortured, exploited, raped, mutilated, murdered, and even worse than THAT, every fucking day that rolls around. I do not say that their suffering, the injustice that they suffer, is in any way less than or less important than the beastly inhumanities that I have seen truly demented motherfuckers inflict upon animals. But right now, this is what's in my lap. I haven't read a paper today or any news headlines, and couldn't give a flying frog fuck about what Piyush and his offspring are doing at motherfucking DisneyWorld right now. I'm so fucking enraged, and still feel completely helpless, because I don't have the money to get this poor boy's injuries fixed, and because THERE IS ***NO*** ANIMAL CONTROL IN THIS NOW-"BEDROOM COMMUNITY" REPUBLICUNT SUBURB THAT ISN'T EVOLVED ENOUGH TO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANIMALS, BUT THEY CAN BUILD A TACKY-ASSED NEW SUBDIVISION EVERY GAWDDAMNED WEEK. Clear-cutting primeval forests to build another fucking Walgreen's? Hey, no problem. Re-zoning and destroying poor people's homes in order to widen U.S. 61 to make life MORE CONVENIENT for the newly-fled yuppie scum of Baton Rouge to return to their Hillbilly HellHole McMansions? You betcha!
But to give a fuck about animals who have been deliberately starved, abused, mutilated, murdered or damned close? Nope, sorry, we just don't give a fuck. Period. It's not that the town, the parish and the state DON'T HAVE THE MONEY, it's just NOT IN THEIR GROWTH PLANS. Financing expansions for fucking CHURCHES, so that they can re-enact the Spanish Inquisition on homeless people or poor people who just need a fucking MEAL? Oh, sure, why not?! Actually GIVING A FUCK ABOUT ANYBODY OUTSIDE OF THE TARGET YUPPIE-SCUM DEMOGRAPHIC? Impossible.
I don't imagine that anybody wonders anymore why I've been trying to get outta here for 38 years, huh.
Found this pretty boy when I went out today to feed the semi-ferals here @ L'Hotel du Fucktards; somebody had dumped him in the parking lot, and he'd dragged himself over to the bushes @ the property line. Shattered right hip joint, huge to-the-bone cut on front paw, highly infected, obviously some dickhead hit him with a car. But the worst part is that he's been STARVED FOR MONTHS, you can SEE every bone in his body, but he's totally tame and affectionate and purred the whole time I've held him and tended to him. He wasn't thrilled when I soaked him in the kitchen sink (warm salt water), to get all of the dried blood, feces & mud out of his wounds & fur, not to mention half of the fucking ticks on the PLANET, and it breaks my heart when I make him cry, but it had to be done. No idea what in the fuck to do now, sure as hell can't afford to take him to the vet, and she does NOT do pro-bono work. Hoping that Elaine, the other Cat Haven lady, can take him, as she has some good vets who might tend to him for cheap or free.
Have I mentioned that humans fucking SUCK?!?!?!?!?!!!!
Not only did some sociopathic psycho-cunt STARVE THIS SWEET, LOVING CAT FOR ***MONTHS***, they fucking RAN HIM OVER, and when THAT didn't kill him, they DITCHED HIM *HERE,* FOR ME, as always, TO CLEAN UP THEIR FUCKING MESS.
This is not a feral cat, this is an indoor cat, who's been raised by people and lived with people for the majority of his life. He's at least 7 years old, judging from his teeth, so he's NEVER been treated right. When you can not only FEEL the bones but SEE THEM POKING UP THROUGH HIS FUR, he's been TORTURED. Enclosed, starved, and utterly bereft of comfort or security. It's not bad enough that we have sick motherfuckers in this country (and yes, especially in this STATE) who will trade their kids for a fucking COCKATOO, who will kill TODDLERS and DROP THEM INTO A RUBBERMAID CONTAINER AND THROW HER INTO THE FUCKING GULF OF MEXICO, oh, no, that's not enough for the SEVERELY DERANGED INBRED MOUTH-BREATHING REDNECK REPUBLICUNT MOTHERFUCKERS TO GET THEIR SADISTIC ROCKS OFF. No, they have to use ANIMALS as fucking TARGETS. Look into this boy's eyes: Even in this much pain, before I could even medicate him, he's got nothing but love to give.
I retired from the cat bidness for a fucking REASON, and that reason is that I'm not "allowed" to hunt-down and torture to death the paramecium-brained CUM-FARTS who DO THIS TO HELPLESS ANIMALS.
I'm not a vet, dammit, I am not trained nor equipped nor fiscally able to take care of injuries like this. I just hope that I've been able to comfort him and take away some of the pain for a little while, until I can find somebody who can truly fix him up. I'M A LIBERAL ARTS MAJOR, GAWDDAMMIT, I AM NOT TRAINED FOR THIS SHIT. And it's the RESPONSIBILITY of the parish, the town, and the gawddamned CASTE-SYSTEM *STATE* TO TAKE CARE OF ANIMALS, not broke-ass nobodies like me. But of course, here in Hillbilly HellHole, NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT ANIMALS, THEY'RE JUST HERE FOR THE MOUTH-BREATHERS' AMUSEMENT, or the dick-substitute/enhancement of KILLING THEM to supposedly "eat," when 90% of the yuppie-scum hunters who come up here from Baton Redneck Republicunt Rouge are TROPHY HUNTERS who just wanna get drunk and shoot guns. Far be it from any of THOSE motherfuckers to try and TAKE CARE OF ANIMALS, nor the mayor, nor the D.A., nor the idiotic excuse for "cops" who don't even know that THERE ARE LAWS AGAINST ANIMAL CRUELTY ON THE FUCKING ***BOOKS***. And don't even get me fucking STARTED on the embezzling, slave-labor-exploiting, alcoholic-moron "SHERIFF." Cocksuckers.
Anyway, that's all the rant I have time for tonight, I gotta do a full-body tick-check and take a long, hot bath. I didn't see any spotted ticks on the injured cat, but you can't take any chances, and I'm sure as HELL not going to let MY babies get infested. Here are the rest of the pictures, before and after my meager attempts at first-aid. And yes, there's a point to the recycled plastic grocery bag: He wouldn't let me keep his back leg in the sling, in order to immobilize the shattered or dislocated hip, so I put the sling back on, taped it together, and then tied the whole hindquarter up in the plastic bag, to keep him from pulling the sling (a hospital tie-on ice pack being repurposed). Cats fucking HATE to have plastic in their mouths, they hate plastic period, unless it's a toy that they can gut, so I'm hoping that the bag will keep him from aggravating that hip joint and the lacerated foot. The front foot is well-bandaged and doused in neosporin, and he doesn't seem to be messing with it or gnawing it off, so hopefully the wound won't abscess while it's bandaged.
If y'all EVER catch anybody doing this to a cat or dog or gnu or zebra or whatever, KILL THOSE LOWLIFE MOTHERFUCKERS FOR ME. Way too many fertile cats & dogs in this country, but far MORE too many EVIL, ANIMAL-TORTURING SO-CALLED "HUMANS", and we need to thin THEIR fucking herds.
And yes, I know that human beings the world over are having as bad or worse inflicted upon them by the oil-company thugs of Blackwater, Halliburton, Shaw Group, Bechtel, jack-leg "mercenaries," genocidal maniacs, pirates, illegitimate "governments," and worse. I know that there are millions of people, men, women and children, in damned near every country on this planet, who are being tortured, exploited, raped, mutilated, murdered, and even worse than THAT, every fucking day that rolls around. I do not say that their suffering, the injustice that they suffer, is in any way less than or less important than the beastly inhumanities that I have seen truly demented motherfuckers inflict upon animals. But right now, this is what's in my lap. I haven't read a paper today or any news headlines, and couldn't give a flying frog fuck about what Piyush and his offspring are doing at motherfucking DisneyWorld right now. I'm so fucking enraged, and still feel completely helpless, because I don't have the money to get this poor boy's injuries fixed, and because THERE IS ***NO*** ANIMAL CONTROL IN THIS NOW-"BEDROOM COMMUNITY" REPUBLICUNT SUBURB THAT ISN'T EVOLVED ENOUGH TO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANIMALS, BUT THEY CAN BUILD A TACKY-ASSED NEW SUBDIVISION EVERY GAWDDAMNED WEEK. Clear-cutting primeval forests to build another fucking Walgreen's? Hey, no problem. Re-zoning and destroying poor people's homes in order to widen U.S. 61 to make life MORE CONVENIENT for the newly-fled yuppie scum of Baton Rouge to return to their Hillbilly HellHole McMansions? You betcha!
But to give a fuck about animals who have been deliberately starved, abused, mutilated, murdered or damned close? Nope, sorry, we just don't give a fuck. Period. It's not that the town, the parish and the state DON'T HAVE THE MONEY, it's just NOT IN THEIR GROWTH PLANS. Financing expansions for fucking CHURCHES, so that they can re-enact the Spanish Inquisition on homeless people or poor people who just need a fucking MEAL? Oh, sure, why not?! Actually GIVING A FUCK ABOUT ANYBODY OUTSIDE OF THE TARGET YUPPIE-SCUM DEMOGRAPHIC? Impossible.
I don't imagine that anybody wonders anymore why I've been trying to get outta here for 38 years, huh.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 02-15-09
When you click on the title link, you will see the programming schedule for a semi-independent/CW station in the New Iberia/Lafayette/Lake Charles region, which reaches across the Atchafayala Basin & Mississippi to my 10-year-old rabbit-ears TV.When you're up & about in the wee small hours, as I am wont to do, you flip through the channels, looking for some pleasant or at least none-offensive babble to play in the background as you're online, doing physical therapy homework, attempting artsy-fartsy shit, doing the most useless and pointless activity on earth (housework), whatever. I don't put my Netflix in when there's at least ONE show on that's not an infomercial, because when I watch my movies/documentaries/AbFab & related Britcom episodes, I don't want to miss what I'm actually watching, if I were doing PT or typing slowly or whatever.
Sometimes, I really regret that I keep the TV on, or that I keep it on certain stations. What they don't tell you in the weekly scheduling pages is what those infomercials are gonna BE.
I'm sure that I'm not the first person, nor will I be the last, to be blown out of my chair by the sheer idiocy, lunacy, shitty dentures, creepy voice, or utter unstoppable BULLSHIT known as L.Ron Hubbard. Up until this point, my interactions with "scientology" have purposefully been kept to the bare minimum that I'd need to know in order to know to avoid those people at any cost. Yes, several dozen of them showed up at the Parker Coliseum "to help" the LSU Vet School staff, students & volunteers during & after Katrina, and that was appreciated. That none of these fluffy little twits could differentiate their own asses from a hole in the ground was NOT appreciated, especially by those of us who were dropping off supplies and they didn't even know what that MEANT. The "Lay Ministers" were truly more useless than tits on a boar hog, and if you don't know what that means, look it up. I myself am more than grateful to the wonderful people of the Vet School, especially the lady who was actually RUNNING that major-league operation (yes, far too many pets were abandoned; even more were murdered by gun-happy rednecks in CHALMETTE, who got off SCOT-MOTHERFUCKING-FREE for that massacre, but the folks @ LSU & at Lamar-Dixon in Gonzales went above and beyond the call of duty to try and save every single damned animal that they could.). The same day that the FUCKTARDS FROM FEMA showed up, requisitioned their ENTIRE OPERATING BUDGET (which I don't think is even remotely fucking LEGAL), I showed-up with another truckload of the donations that y'all generated, along with a respectably-sized wad of cash, and I've never in my life seen ANYONE so happy to see me. FEMA and the Homeland Security (uber alles!) twinks were fucking it ALLLLLL up, so we helped, at least for that day.
But of course, I digress.
I'm flipping channels for background noise tonight as I'm reading e-mails, making dinner, attempting artsy-craftsy shit in order to eventually regain some of the dexterity & hand strength that I've lost to the herniated disk in my neck. Used to be able to do all kinds of artsy-fartsy shit, now I'm truly useless. Used to be able to type 70wpm, now can barely do 20, counting typos. But that's not the point, I'm all over the fucking map tonight.
The above-linked schedule might disappear before too long, as they are like SiteMeter, they roll their schedule pages over as soon as they need a new one, rather than archiving. And what you will see in the 1A slot reads "Infomercial," as I'm sure that the uber-catholic ownership & management of KLWB would not want there to be EVIDENCE that they're taking money to disseminate the batshit-crazy ramblings of a disgustingly-pretentious, half-educated, certifiably-nuts bourgie wannabe such as L-Ron. His "interviewer," obviously a convert, is British, so L-Ron likes to throw in words like "mate," "vit-a-mins" (short "i" in the British pronunciation) and similar affectations.
Now, I make no bones about the fact that I have very little control over my language & accent adaptations; if I talked to my Nannie for 5 minutes, after years of radio training to the contrary, it was like I was right back in Klan Central and had never left. So I understand when I or other people's ACCENTS change (though yes, "Madge" pushed that shit way beyond the pale), but when their VOCABULARY pretends (or portends) to "adapt" to present company or the imagined audience, then they come off as the slimiest kind of used car salesman. Kinda like a "missionary" or "w***a" wannabe going "down to the hood," and adopting caucasian ebonics. It's one thing if you live there, it's a whole other fucking thing if you're a TOURIST.
All of that blathering to say this: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE BRAIN. IT HURTS. I CAN FEEL IT BLEEDING!!!!!!
The Dianetics commercials were the ONE form of benign "mail-fraud," impersonation, or mail-in-coupon harassment that I have NEVER inflicted upon ANYBODY, be they friend, becoming-former-friend, or even a royal asshole who was so catholic that he was AFRAID OF EATING PUSSY. I don't know why; if they weren't running commercials when I needed new ammo, or if it was an intrinsic reaction of avoidance. But trust me, if I ever do get back into my "practical joke" phase (it's so hard nowadays to SHOCK anybody, especially MY friends, and you have to find the right flavor of freaky for each potential victim), I WILL ***NEVER*** INFLICT SCIENTOLOGISTS UPON ANYONE. Those glazed-over eyes just skeer the living shit outta me. And not just L-Ron's, either.
I'll never understand how a half-assed excuse for a sci-fi writer, who blamed psychiatry for all of his problems (when the proper application thereof might have saved the world SO much agony...), who couldn't even get properly-fitted teeth (I know, I should talk about bad teeth, but for fuck's sake, if you can con THOUSANDS of people into joining your uber-batshit cult, you oughta be able to afford a REAL DENTIST!!!), but had to hiss THROUGH THEM with every syllable, how in the HELL he convinced people around the world to buy-into this bullshit, I will never understand. Granted, he didn't have the heavily-armed colonizing forces of the RCC, the apeshit colonists of the Puritans, or the OBSCENE money power of the lizard-licking mormons, so it's gotta be a really GOOD line of bullshit (or there are a helluva LOT of stupid motherfuckers out in the world, who are now inordinately-confident assholes whose "confidence" is in no way proportional to their actual abilities or intellect) to get worldwide like the Jeehovers and the skinny black ties on bicycles. Prolly won't ever amass the fortune to truly compete with the juice-and-crackers crowd, but they are growing in numbers that do skeer the living shit outta me.
Somebody please tell me, that after having suffered through that "interview" that provided fewer actual answers than every press conference Dumbya ever did COMBINED, that there's going to be some kind of space-alien "RAPTURE" for the scientologists. Please tell me that they have a Nikes-and-purple-scarf "OUT" planned at some point. Somebody, anybody, please tell me that these freaks are NOT going to be colonizing the entire fucking PLANET. It's hard enough being one of THREE atheists in this entire hillbilly hellhole parish, I do NOT need shit shoved under my apartment door, telling me about the teeny-tiny aliens who "live in my bloodstream." I hope to hell that their "mother ship" really DOES show up and fucking SOON.
And yes, there will be people who will call me a bigot and hate me because I've probably named their personal cult in the above rant. I can't help that. I could lie, and say that the genocide, misogyny, forced ignorance, moneychangers-in-the-fucking-temple aspects to those cults DON'T bother me, and that I don't really "mean" the bad things that I say about those cults.
But I'm not gonna.
So if anybody wants to stop "liking" or "loving" me because of what I've said here, go forth and be. Won't be the first time, won't be the last. Fuck, I'm hardly an atheist scholar of any type, I'll never be Madalyn Murray O'Hair, but I know what I know, and I know that invisible sky-fairies ain't done SHIT for ANYBODY on this planet. L-Ron says that religion's "purpose" is to "make people better." That's the ripest shit that I've smelled since the last time I had to muck a horse stall. Religion's purpose is to CONTROL PEOPLE, which is why reich-wing regimes ENJOY keeping the proletariat all culted-up and obedient to whatever Flying Spaghetti Monster-wannabe that massah sez to worship.
Whatever your baggage or pain is, no matter whose fault it is, only you can fix it. Nobody is going to do it for you, and no invisible sky-fairy is going to "make" you a better person. If the only reason that you do good works is because a 4,000-year-old book of fairy-tales "told" you to do them, then fuck you. Do it because it's the RIGHT FUCKING THING TO DO. Not because you've been promised a McMansion in a "heaven" where you'll never be fat, depressed, asinine, ignorant, poor or hungry again. Hate to break it to y'all, but that real estate ain't there, and you will never see it. Just hope that you get lucky and the chemical electricity in your brains goes to a nice end of the universe, if it ever escapes this planet. I'd like to be a poltergeist, myself. WAY too much fun to be had there. Can't say that it'll actually happen; for all I know, I'm just more fish food (my ashes will be dumped in the Mississippi & the Atlantic after I donate whatever few organs are still functional). But I'd dearly enjoy the chance to fuck with a few of those who'll be "left behind." Heh. Take that however you wanna, it's funny either way.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
WHAT. THA. FUCK.
First off, we all know about my entire fucked-up life of "interacting" with males (you wouldn't call them "men," either), from molestation to beat-down to closet-case misogynist (open about hating women, closeted about sucking dick) who got evicted in the late summer of '06. There are many reasons why I "retired" from fucking, "love," that marketing pyramid scheme of "romance," all of that shit, and y'all have already heard all of it.
What I CAN'T fucking understand is how, in this day and age, such intelligent, beautiful, talented, POWERFUL young women can STILL fall for that horseshit that "that's what you gotta put up with TO HAVE A MAYUNNNN." I ain't just talking about Formerly-Blonde Niece, her idiotic mother, or any of my other dysfunctional relatives, either. Rihanna, an amazing young woman with those mind-blowing eyes, gets a beat-down from her "boyfriend," Chris Brown, so that neither "makes it to" the Grammys. I'M used to being treated like shit by cops, they have ALWAYS blamed ME for the abuse I've received, from the pus-gutted pompadoured piece of shit NOPD clown @ the beat-down, to the mouth-breathing misogynist PIGS in Livingston Parish, who yelled, cursed, and basically berated me OUT OF THE FUCKING OFFICE (loud enough for the entire shift to hear the grisly details) for daring to ask them to MESS WITH A "MAN'S" LIFE, to put a "MAN" IN JAIL for having STOLEN MY LIFE BEFORE I TURNED TWO FUCKING YEARS OLD. We all know these stories. What I can't wrap my fucking head around is how so many young women, who've SEEN the damage that unhealthy relationships can do, to their mothers, their friends, their sisters, their aunts, everything that's ever been on Lifetime --- how in the FUCK can they still ACCEPT THIS SHIT and NOT KILL THESE MOTHERFUCKERS!??!?!?!!? On WHAT fucking planet is it ACCEPTABLE that a woman gets beaten, punched, bitten and ejected from a vehicle, and they still call that douchebag abuser a "MAN"?!?!?!?
At least out in Cali, they actually ENFORCE domestic-violence and life-threatening laws. I'm grateful for that, even though I doubt her management or record label will allow her to put his ass in prison where he belongs. No, I've never bought any of her records, no, I hardly know a thing about the child, but I can tell from here that she was born with a gift, and that's enough to threaten any weak-minded/weak-spirited, soulless prick.
If it weren't for the good men in this world, it would be REAL fucking easy for me to be a "man-hater." If I weren't lucky enough to have some of the best friends on this planet, I could very easily hide here in my ghetto hovel and ignore every swinging dick on the planet. But I don't, because I know that there ARE good men in this world, I talk to them or write to them every fucking day. That's one of the few things that give me anything resembling "hope" at this point.
I've been taken, I've been ripped-off, I've been treated like a moron every time that somebody fucking lies to me, but I still know good men. I just can't fucking understand what it is about so many of our best women, that they HAVE to "have a mayunnn," that they're willing to put up with weak-assed little punks who think that hitting a woman makes them "a man." That ain't what makes a man. Fuck Snoop Dogg across the fucking universe thirty-six times, for bringing that "pimp" mentality shit back into vogue, as if the women of this world didn't already know what it felt like. Fuck every single male who's ever gotten a leg up by stepping on ANY woman, much less stepping on MANY women. Fuck Kanye's dainty little suburban ass for "Gold Digger." Yes, those women exist, we all know at least one. But that doesn't make it RIGHT. Just because Terry Bradshaw is a fucking MOW-RAHN about trucks being "a man's vehicle, IF you know what I mean" (I see a lot of shitty PSAs late at night) doesn't mean that every single man born in the south is a NEANDERTHAL DOUCHEBAG. But that doesn't mean that I have to like his dumb bald ass, either.
I don't know if I have a point tonight. I'm just pissed, disgusted, frustrated, and sad. It doesn't have to be like this. I know damned well that there ISN'T "somebody for everybody in this world," that's a bunch of marketing and cult-minded HORSESHIT, some of us are BETTER OFF ALONE, by damn.
But I also know that there are HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS WORLD. Not every marriage has to stay together purely from inertia, laziness, or the fact that nobody else will have your ass. I have been privileged to witness many a good marriage, though I don't want to hex them by mentioning them. When I write about the good people in my life, they invariably disappear. I have seen and known people who truly WANT TO SPEND THEIR LIVES WITH THEIR EQUALS, because it doesn't just keep them from putting one or the other down, but because it LIFTS THEM BOTH UP. Look at Barack and Michelle Obama. If I couldn't find another example of relationships that WORK, they would be THE ONE. Honestly, she's more the reason that I voted for him than HE was, truth be told.
But dammit all to hell, why in the FUCK are young people so TERRIFIED of being SINGLE?!?!?! Oh, sure, it's still the same old double-standard, a male ho is a stud, a promiscuous woman is a "ho." Men rack up "accomplishments," women are "doing damage to themselves" every time they have a casual fuck. BULLSHIT. If you aren't ready for or don't want a relationship, fine, DON'T HAVE ONE. But for fuck's sake, don't be so scared of facing life alone, don't be so swayed by pop culture and your shallow-assed "friends"/co-workers/peer pressure/what-the-fuck-ever, that you hang onto some ASSHOLE just so you won't be ALONE.
The only time my alleged "parents" were ever "glad" to see me is when I brought that fucking CLOSET-CASE to their house, though now they claim to loathe him as much as I do. Couldn't get out of the truck without, "WHERE'S JAKE?" Like I'd lost a fucking LIMB or something. Yeah, those two are the PRIME EXAMPLES of why people SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO PROCREATE WITHOUT AN I.Q. TEST & A PSYCH PROFILE, but they're going to try to belittle me for STAYING SINGLE. Bitches, please. Y'all only stay together to provide ALIBIS for one another, and because nobody else on earth would HAVE your skanky asses, as we more than learned back in the eighties AND nineties. But yeah, I'M the loser for not having a "MAYUNNNNN." Kack.
Ain't never killed nobody to be themselves, and to be comfortable WITH themselves. Could somebody pass that message on to that child Rihanna? I've been trying to teach it to my nieces all of their damned lives, but apparently they never heard it over their co-dependent/self-abusive mother harping, "Don't listen to her, she ain't even got a MAYUNNN!"
In other pop-culture news, just wanna send all the love in the world out to Jennifer Hudson, because she has never yet failed to be an awe-inspiring woman to women of all colors. Can't say enough good things about her, and bless her heart for not only surviving that horror, that nightmare, but for powering through it and keepin' on keepin' on. Way tougher woman than I am.
I don't normally give a rat's ass about the Grammys or pop culture or pop music at the fuck all, hell, I forgot to watch Dave Grohl playing with Angela Landsbury last night, and I fucking LOVE me some Dave Grohl. But this shit with Rihanna really hit a nerve with me. And seeing the amazing Jennifer Hudson doing her thing, makes me proud to be a woman.
But Chris Brown, don't show your weak little bitch ass around here. That's all I gotta say about a bitch like you, or that little junkie skeletor whore from STP & that clusterfuck "re-invention" of Guns & Roses, Vulva Revulsion, I won't even type THAT wife-beating junkie bitch's name. There are other celebrity wife-beaters who need to be outed, but I'm not up for the research tonight, I can't call their names to the front of the rolodex right now.
We should keep a list, though. Know where your money's going, kids. That's the only way to change anything in this country anymore, is by controlling where your money goes. And if you're going to movies or buying DVDs or albums made by wife-beaters, husband-beaters (I'm lookin' at YOU, you plastic-surgery-junkie freak, straddle a fucking Jag-yu-arrrr NOW, Tawny Kitaen!!!), child-abusers or other felons, you ought to KNOW before you go. Think of it as the Hell-raisers Un-Abusive Assholes Collection (H.U.A.A.C., for you history buffs, and fuck Joe McCarthy all over again!), and y'all feel free to contribute names and incidents at will.
What I CAN'T fucking understand is how, in this day and age, such intelligent, beautiful, talented, POWERFUL young women can STILL fall for that horseshit that "that's what you gotta put up with TO HAVE A MAYUNNNN." I ain't just talking about Formerly-Blonde Niece, her idiotic mother, or any of my other dysfunctional relatives, either. Rihanna, an amazing young woman with those mind-blowing eyes, gets a beat-down from her "boyfriend," Chris Brown, so that neither "makes it to" the Grammys. I'M used to being treated like shit by cops, they have ALWAYS blamed ME for the abuse I've received, from the pus-gutted pompadoured piece of shit NOPD clown @ the beat-down, to the mouth-breathing misogynist PIGS in Livingston Parish, who yelled, cursed, and basically berated me OUT OF THE FUCKING OFFICE (loud enough for the entire shift to hear the grisly details) for daring to ask them to MESS WITH A "MAN'S" LIFE, to put a "MAN" IN JAIL for having STOLEN MY LIFE BEFORE I TURNED TWO FUCKING YEARS OLD. We all know these stories. What I can't wrap my fucking head around is how so many young women, who've SEEN the damage that unhealthy relationships can do, to their mothers, their friends, their sisters, their aunts, everything that's ever been on Lifetime --- how in the FUCK can they still ACCEPT THIS SHIT and NOT KILL THESE MOTHERFUCKERS!??!?!?!!? On WHAT fucking planet is it ACCEPTABLE that a woman gets beaten, punched, bitten and ejected from a vehicle, and they still call that douchebag abuser a "MAN"?!?!?!?
At least out in Cali, they actually ENFORCE domestic-violence and life-threatening laws. I'm grateful for that, even though I doubt her management or record label will allow her to put his ass in prison where he belongs. No, I've never bought any of her records, no, I hardly know a thing about the child, but I can tell from here that she was born with a gift, and that's enough to threaten any weak-minded/weak-spirited, soulless prick.
If it weren't for the good men in this world, it would be REAL fucking easy for me to be a "man-hater." If I weren't lucky enough to have some of the best friends on this planet, I could very easily hide here in my ghetto hovel and ignore every swinging dick on the planet. But I don't, because I know that there ARE good men in this world, I talk to them or write to them every fucking day. That's one of the few things that give me anything resembling "hope" at this point.
I've been taken, I've been ripped-off, I've been treated like a moron every time that somebody fucking lies to me, but I still know good men. I just can't fucking understand what it is about so many of our best women, that they HAVE to "have a mayunnn," that they're willing to put up with weak-assed little punks who think that hitting a woman makes them "a man." That ain't what makes a man. Fuck Snoop Dogg across the fucking universe thirty-six times, for bringing that "pimp" mentality shit back into vogue, as if the women of this world didn't already know what it felt like. Fuck every single male who's ever gotten a leg up by stepping on ANY woman, much less stepping on MANY women. Fuck Kanye's dainty little suburban ass for "Gold Digger." Yes, those women exist, we all know at least one. But that doesn't make it RIGHT. Just because Terry Bradshaw is a fucking MOW-RAHN about trucks being "a man's vehicle, IF you know what I mean" (I see a lot of shitty PSAs late at night) doesn't mean that every single man born in the south is a NEANDERTHAL DOUCHEBAG. But that doesn't mean that I have to like his dumb bald ass, either.
I don't know if I have a point tonight. I'm just pissed, disgusted, frustrated, and sad. It doesn't have to be like this. I know damned well that there ISN'T "somebody for everybody in this world," that's a bunch of marketing and cult-minded HORSESHIT, some of us are BETTER OFF ALONE, by damn.
But I also know that there are HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS WORLD. Not every marriage has to stay together purely from inertia, laziness, or the fact that nobody else will have your ass. I have been privileged to witness many a good marriage, though I don't want to hex them by mentioning them. When I write about the good people in my life, they invariably disappear. I have seen and known people who truly WANT TO SPEND THEIR LIVES WITH THEIR EQUALS, because it doesn't just keep them from putting one or the other down, but because it LIFTS THEM BOTH UP. Look at Barack and Michelle Obama. If I couldn't find another example of relationships that WORK, they would be THE ONE. Honestly, she's more the reason that I voted for him than HE was, truth be told.
But dammit all to hell, why in the FUCK are young people so TERRIFIED of being SINGLE?!?!?! Oh, sure, it's still the same old double-standard, a male ho is a stud, a promiscuous woman is a "ho." Men rack up "accomplishments," women are "doing damage to themselves" every time they have a casual fuck. BULLSHIT. If you aren't ready for or don't want a relationship, fine, DON'T HAVE ONE. But for fuck's sake, don't be so scared of facing life alone, don't be so swayed by pop culture and your shallow-assed "friends"/co-workers/peer pressure/what-the-fuck-ever, that you hang onto some ASSHOLE just so you won't be ALONE.
The only time my alleged "parents" were ever "glad" to see me is when I brought that fucking CLOSET-CASE to their house, though now they claim to loathe him as much as I do. Couldn't get out of the truck without, "WHERE'S JAKE?" Like I'd lost a fucking LIMB or something. Yeah, those two are the PRIME EXAMPLES of why people SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO PROCREATE WITHOUT AN I.Q. TEST & A PSYCH PROFILE, but they're going to try to belittle me for STAYING SINGLE. Bitches, please. Y'all only stay together to provide ALIBIS for one another, and because nobody else on earth would HAVE your skanky asses, as we more than learned back in the eighties AND nineties. But yeah, I'M the loser for not having a "MAYUNNNNN." Kack.
Ain't never killed nobody to be themselves, and to be comfortable WITH themselves. Could somebody pass that message on to that child Rihanna? I've been trying to teach it to my nieces all of their damned lives, but apparently they never heard it over their co-dependent/self-abusive mother harping, "Don't listen to her, she ain't even got a MAYUNNN!"
In other pop-culture news, just wanna send all the love in the world out to Jennifer Hudson, because she has never yet failed to be an awe-inspiring woman to women of all colors. Can't say enough good things about her, and bless her heart for not only surviving that horror, that nightmare, but for powering through it and keepin' on keepin' on. Way tougher woman than I am.
I don't normally give a rat's ass about the Grammys or pop culture or pop music at the fuck all, hell, I forgot to watch Dave Grohl playing with Angela Landsbury last night, and I fucking LOVE me some Dave Grohl. But this shit with Rihanna really hit a nerve with me. And seeing the amazing Jennifer Hudson doing her thing, makes me proud to be a woman.
But Chris Brown, don't show your weak little bitch ass around here. That's all I gotta say about a bitch like you, or that little junkie skeletor whore from STP & that clusterfuck "re-invention" of Guns & Roses, Vulva Revulsion, I won't even type THAT wife-beating junkie bitch's name. There are other celebrity wife-beaters who need to be outed, but I'm not up for the research tonight, I can't call their names to the front of the rolodex right now.
We should keep a list, though. Know where your money's going, kids. That's the only way to change anything in this country anymore, is by controlling where your money goes. And if you're going to movies or buying DVDs or albums made by wife-beaters, husband-beaters (I'm lookin' at YOU, you plastic-surgery-junkie freak, straddle a fucking Jag-yu-arrrr NOW, Tawny Kitaen!!!), child-abusers or other felons, you ought to KNOW before you go. Think of it as the Hell-raisers Un-Abusive Assholes Collection (H.U.A.A.C., for you history buffs, and fuck Joe McCarthy all over again!), and y'all feel free to contribute names and incidents at will.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
I can't speak for Mary Hicks...
But culled from a discussion with our very own CGEye, here are some of what I could sieve out of my fevered brain, regarding the cynical heresy of Letterman...
(Major props/thanks to Erster for noticing the original post and passing the good word...)
Date: Tue, 3 Feb 2009 09:09:25 -0800
From: CGI
Subject: Re: MOB: I still don't know how I feel about this yet...
To: Annti
I waited until you got to see it to ask: Does it take away any of the pain of what they did to the man? I worship him for Goat Boy alone.
Reply:
CGI, honey, I haven't even watched all of those clips yet. I saw it as it happened Friday night, and it pissed me WAY the fuck off that I couldn't tell everybody ahead of time, because Letterman didn't fucking ADVERTISE IT, the twat. Oh, he's all 'humble' now, and takes all of the blame upon himself, what a noble motherfucker. HE FUCKING KNEW that Bill was sick, even if the corporate stooges, anti-choice douchebag advertisers, and his own producers didn't. He played like he didn't know to Bill's mom, but HE FUCKING KNEW. And he knew that Bill's career was finally on the cusp of a real, true peak, after he'd blown-up in England, Scotland and Ireland, that he had an international following already, and that THAT fucking appearance, since no other network show would carry him, and even HBO was slightly afraid, that appearance would've made all of the fucking difference in the world. It wouldn't have saved Bill's life, but it would've preserved his legacy and PREVENTED THAT WEASEL COCKSUCKER DENIS LEARY FROM RIPPING HIM OFF AND BECOMING A FUCKING MILLIONAIRE OFF OF BILL'S CORPSE. And he could've made enough money to marry his fiance, help his parents out, and spend more on his wildlife-recovery charity. He could have accomplished so much more that he wanted to do, in those last four months of his life, even if he didn't make all of the shows he had scheduled.
When Letterman first started talking about it, I was still in disbelief that Bill's name (via his mama's name) had even been MENTIONED in that building, because it had NEVER been uttered there in 15 years. Verboten. No acknowledgment of his impact on comedy, politics, Murkin culture, his vast disconnected network of underground addicts, NO MENTION OF BILL HICKS, FUCKING *EVER*. Only online have I ever found fellow Hicks addicts, never on network, or back when I had it, cable, except for that one appearance on "Half-Hour Comedy Hour," and that TOTALLY-FUCKING-LAME "post-script" that Comedy Central aired, "It's Just A Ride." Boy, they half-assed THAT shit, the corporate-toady funny-as-a-wet-fart motherfuckers.
No, it doesn't take away the pain, and you could see that on Mary Hicks' face. This had nothing to do with Bill or how Dave let them fuck him over and didn't even FIGHT FOR HIM AT THE FUCK ALL or even TELL Bill that they'd cut the piece UNTIL BILL SAW THE SHOW THAT NIGHT AND FOUND OUT FOR HIMSELF, and then Letterman WOULDN'T EVEN RETURN HIS FUCKING PHONE CALLS. THIS WAS ABOUT DAVID LETTERMAN GETTING OLD AND REASSESSING HIS LIFE/CAREER/CONTRACT, and wanting to be all "introspective" ON CAMERA, and playing the fucking martyr in "taking the hit" on behalf of Cunt-scabbed Bullshitting System, his no-balls producers and the evil republicunt advertisers who ordered the fucking assassination in the first fucking place.
When I first saw that footage for the first time ever, I was just one giant, cleaved-open pulsing heart, just aching with joy and pain and what we had lost. But the more that I think about it, the more that it pisses me off. Mary Hicks is one helluva woman, and far more gracious toward that turd than I would've been. Yes, I've been praising Letterman's politics since the open-heart surgery, because that's when he started GIVING A FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING, but this, this is not fucking right. You could see in her sharp blue eyes that she had never forgiven him, and probably never would. She accepted the apology, but that was the extent of it. When that woman started to tear-up, but never let a single tear fall, my fucking heart almost exploded from aching for her. That was HER BABY, and he fucking EARNED THAT, from when he was sneaking outta the house at eleven years of age to go to comedy clubs, he had fucking earned it, and they had fucking ROBBED HIM, and she will NEVER get the fuck over it, and she shouldn't. I'd give every organ in my body to charity if she could've been MY mama.
This is why I haven't really written about it yet. Because I'm TOO pissed. I'm going to take a lot of shit from the kool-aid drinkers, the rich Cali libruls who will brook no dissent amongst the ranks, etc., and I don't give a fuck about those assholes. I just want to be able to say it in a concise way, to pinpoint exactly and precisely WHY David Letterman is THE most cynical, heartless bastard on the planet for that little stunt. At this point, he's about on the same ranking as Fatfuck Limbaugh to me right now. It served no fucking purpose except to make Letterman look "good" to his followers, and to put Bill's name out there as Russell Crowe is trying to put the movie together, which I'm sure he'll cock it up com-fucking-pletely. YES, Bill had a huge Australian/Kiwi following, almost as big as Henry Rollins', but that doesn't mean that Crowe KNOWS that boy or how his mind operated. Plus, Russell ain't exactly "heartthrob" material anymore, he's old and bloated and is a breeder now. UTTERLY diametrically-opposed priorities. Bill Hicks was a beautiful man, even with the weight fluctuations, smoking/non-smoking, drugs & alcohol/clean, even as he was dying of pancreatic and liver cancer, he was still GORGEOUS. THE most perfect blue eyes that ever existed, that went back into the universe for decades, so ancient, and yet so impish, truly Randy-Pan The Goat-Boy, with the wisdom of every "wise man" and woman who has ever lived. Libra rising, the creator, and Shiva the destroyer, all in one guy, as he liked to say.
So no, it doesn't take the pain away. It pisses me off even worse. They're digging him up and bullshitting his mama for one fucking reason: MOTHERFUCKING MONEY. Period. And Letterman's self-worshiping ego/guilt trips. They have desecrated his ashes and pissed on his mama's leg and told her it's raining. Sam Kinison would be pitching a major-league bitch-fit if he were still with us, and so should Kevin Booth and Dwight and every friend & comedian he ever loved. I don't give a fuck HOW much money Sacred Cow may make off of this process, since they mandate the rights to his material, which Mary & his daddy own, IT'S BEING DONE WRONGLY. It's bass-fucking-ackwards and WRONG WRONG WRONG. And fuck Russell Crowe and Letterman sideways with a fucking chainsaw for digging him up for their OWN FUCKING PROFITS and THEIR OWN FUCKING EGOS. I never saw Jim Carrey's movie about Kaufman, because I fucking loathe Carrey and knew that it wouldn't be about Andy, it'd be about JIM, like every fucking thing that material-thieving cunt has ever done. I was trained in radio production by the guy who REALLY invented "Fire Marshall Bill" (it was "Fireman Jim" on their radio morning show, Carrey was on a press junket for "In Living Color," and he stole it COLD, right out from under them, the cunt), and I have been putting hexes on Carrey every day of his fucking life. He's a miserable sonofabitch, but not miserable ENOUGH. Jenny McCarthy is too good for him.
And Denis motherfucking Leary can do all of the 9/11 shit, all of the firemen's fundraisers, all of the "good works" that his bony catholic ass can handle, but NONE OF IT WILL EVER MEAN A FUCKING THING, because that lying fucking WEASEL-TURD MOTHERFUCKER will never EVER admit where he stole his entire fucking SCHTICK from, where he stole his ENTIRE FUCKING CAREER. And Bill, bless his heart, had to find out by hearing it OVER THE FUCKING RADIO. "The Asshole Song" is pretty much the only thing that Leary ever wrote, and even then, he had two guys help him do it. So yeah, I want Leary to die of prostate cancer, and I want it to eat his entire body from the inside out, and I want them to have to go after it FROM HIS ASSHOLE. That MIGHT approximate justice for that motherfucker. Personally, I would love to be wherever in the universe that Bill's essence might exist (I hope to hell that he didn't have to get recycled back to THIS planet, dammit, he's earned better!), so that I could sit and watch as he gets ahold of Leary's ghost the minute that motherfucker dies. Maybe he'll have to go to his catholic hell, and Bill can just light a cigarette, drop the ashes on his face and laugh, laugh, laugh. Bill wasn't about retribution or revenge, he wasn't a vindictive person at all, but he believed in KARMA, dammit, and karma has been WAY TOO FUCKING SLOW in paying back the motherfuckers who fucked HIM. So that's what I want for him. I've always said that karma is too fucking slow, and that it's my job to jab it in the ass with an electric cattle prod.
Did you cry when you watched that clip, too? I knew half the material, especially the lead-off Billy Ray bit, by HEART, but half of it was totally new to me, never been seen or heard on even the crappiest bootlegs or the BBC stuff. My heart just swelled-up with tears of joy and pain. Do you think that I'm a fucktard, to still be in love with this guy, fifteen years after he's dead, 21 years after I fell for him? Dammit, that was THE man that I was supposed to fucking marry, if I was ever to commit said act of somewhat-enslavement. But with him, it would've been EQUAL, not possession. His girlfriend was one lucky bitch, it's just a damned shame that they didn't get more time together. That man LOVED and WORSHIPED the pussy, you KNOW that she had an ASSLOAD of orgasms. Randy-Pan The Goat Boy would accept no less. There's no such thing as "a perfect man" or woman, but dammit, he was as highly-evolved as this species was gonna get, 'cause you'll notice how we've done a MASSIVE fucking U-TURN since he died. It's alllll fucking retrograde DNA now, baby. We missed the turn-off, didn't follow his path, and it's nothin' but water-headed Jerry Springer trailer-trash spawn from here on out...
And on THAT lovely note, I'll shut the fuck up. But thank you for asking. And for understanding how much Bill Hicks means to me, and why I want to kick Letterman's ass. I really had grown fond of the uppity prick, after he finally said shit that MEANT something (I never watched his old show, because IT WASN'T FUNNY TO ME, except when Hicks or Howard Stern were on), but this, this is just flat-out fucking sacrilege.
Love you.
J
Pt. 2: I haven't done any research on Crowe's alleged pre-production ventures on the biopic, so I don't know how serious he is about it, but if he wants to do it RIGHT, he's gotta go through Mama. And she ain't easily impressed, especially not by celebrities. If she lets ANYBODY dig up her boy, they'd damned well better fucking EARN IT, and I'm sure that Kevin Booth et al are keeping an eye on whatever's going on. They'd damned well BETTER BE, or I'm going to Austin with my baseball bat.
And yes, Bill was sent here to help us evolve, but Bush Sr. and his New World Order succeeded in stunting human development even worse than Ronnie Ray-Gun or the bastard fucktard Dumbya did, so we live in a world with "American Idol," TMZ, and Denis thieving-cunt Leary. Leary has never done ANYTHING even REMOTELY akin to Bill Hicks' beliefs/actions, he just stole the gags, but never had the brains or soul to MEAN IT, so it was alllllll nothin' but SURFACE.
He was just on the Kennedy Center Honors Mark Twain Prize "tribute" to George Carlin, and I damned near put a boot through my television. HATE that cocksucker, because when he hit big with "No Cure For Cancer," I thought that he was NEW, that it was HIS material. I was already a Hicks addict, but hadn't ever made the money or had the money to see him in person, the albums weren't out yet, and hadn't seen him on TV in two years, at least. If I'd known that the ENTIRETY of that album was stolen straight from Hicks, I'd have destroyed the station's copy (they played "The Asshole Song" after 10P) and kept it off of the fucking air. One of the cunt dickhead men destroyed the ONE Janis Joplin album (Cheap Thrills), in order to keep her songs from being played, the neanderthal motherfucker, and I went and bought another one to replace it, to put her back into the fucking rotation, when the cunt tightwad motherfucker station owners (and the sexist-pig program director) wouldn't fucking BOTHER.
Anyway, I'm way the fuck off-topic. Russell Crowe better watch his ass. If the Vogons were skeery, he ain't seen SHIT, when it comes to fucking with my boy. Just like that clusterfuck "tribute" to HST was a GINORMOUS fucking punk-out DISAPPOINTMENT/bullshit cover-up (Can't call the name right now, got it through NetFlix), if they even THINK of dishonoring MY BOY, they gonna have a big ol' mess of bad press, among other things. I'll fuck their shit up as much as I can from here in West Redneckistan. It's bad enough that I've lost Carlin, Kinison, Pryor, Gilda Radner, damned near every comic that raised me except Cosby, I'll be gawd (or pick any invisible sky-fairy) DAMNED if they're going to defame or defile the story/image/memory of one of the most brilliant human beings who ever fucking lived. You'll never see HIM getting a big Kennedy Center honor, you'll never even see anybody ever ADMITTING that he ever EXISTED, the weak-assed pussies who robbed him BLIND while he was still alive, and they've been robbing his grave ever since. Oh, no, Bill was too "dangerous," too fucking HONEST, for the corporate whores who reign over "comedy" then and now. He wasn't "famous" enough, thanks to Letterman's treason, to "matter" to network douchebags or programming motherfuckers or magazine vultures past 1996.
The greatest poets are never recognized in their home countries, right? I bet if we could get our asses to Great Britain, we'd see fucking ALTARS to him. I noticed that the big ol' pussy-boy (he had a brief moment of honesty, but he's a company man all the fucking way NOW) Craig Ferguson said BUPKIS about Letterman's stunt on Bill's ashes. Not a fucking PEEP. He knows who signs HIS fucking checks. I wish to fuck and back that I had cable just for Showtime, HBO & The Daily Show, to see if Jon Stewart had the gonads to acknowledge the travesty. Oh, he was so special, he got to interview Carlin at the Aspen Comedy Festival (CORPORATE DOUCHEBAGS ARE US!!!), wasn't he a lucky little boy, but does he have the balls to deal with the guy who made Carlin look LAID-BACK?!?!?!? I won't be holding my breath.
(Major props/thanks to Erster for noticing the original post and passing the good word...)
Date: Tue, 3 Feb 2009 09:09:25 -0800
From: CGI
Subject: Re: MOB: I still don't know how I feel about this yet...
To: Annti
I waited until you got to see it to ask: Does it take away any of the pain of what they did to the man? I worship him for Goat Boy alone.
Reply:
CGI, honey, I haven't even watched all of those clips yet. I saw it as it happened Friday night, and it pissed me WAY the fuck off that I couldn't tell everybody ahead of time, because Letterman didn't fucking ADVERTISE IT, the twat. Oh, he's all 'humble' now, and takes all of the blame upon himself, what a noble motherfucker. HE FUCKING KNEW that Bill was sick, even if the corporate stooges, anti-choice douchebag advertisers, and his own producers didn't. He played like he didn't know to Bill's mom, but HE FUCKING KNEW. And he knew that Bill's career was finally on the cusp of a real, true peak, after he'd blown-up in England, Scotland and Ireland, that he had an international following already, and that THAT fucking appearance, since no other network show would carry him, and even HBO was slightly afraid, that appearance would've made all of the fucking difference in the world. It wouldn't have saved Bill's life, but it would've preserved his legacy and PREVENTED THAT WEASEL COCKSUCKER DENIS LEARY FROM RIPPING HIM OFF AND BECOMING A FUCKING MILLIONAIRE OFF OF BILL'S CORPSE. And he could've made enough money to marry his fiance, help his parents out, and spend more on his wildlife-recovery charity. He could have accomplished so much more that he wanted to do, in those last four months of his life, even if he didn't make all of the shows he had scheduled.
When Letterman first started talking about it, I was still in disbelief that Bill's name (via his mama's name) had even been MENTIONED in that building, because it had NEVER been uttered there in 15 years. Verboten. No acknowledgment of his impact on comedy, politics, Murkin culture, his vast disconnected network of underground addicts, NO MENTION OF BILL HICKS, FUCKING *EVER*. Only online have I ever found fellow Hicks addicts, never on network, or back when I had it, cable, except for that one appearance on "Half-Hour Comedy Hour," and that TOTALLY-FUCKING-LAME "post-script" that Comedy Central aired, "It's Just A Ride." Boy, they half-assed THAT shit, the corporate-toady funny-as-a-wet-fart motherfuckers.
No, it doesn't take away the pain, and you could see that on Mary Hicks' face. This had nothing to do with Bill or how Dave let them fuck him over and didn't even FIGHT FOR HIM AT THE FUCK ALL or even TELL Bill that they'd cut the piece UNTIL BILL SAW THE SHOW THAT NIGHT AND FOUND OUT FOR HIMSELF, and then Letterman WOULDN'T EVEN RETURN HIS FUCKING PHONE CALLS. THIS WAS ABOUT DAVID LETTERMAN GETTING OLD AND REASSESSING HIS LIFE/CAREER/CONTRACT, and wanting to be all "introspective" ON CAMERA, and playing the fucking martyr in "taking the hit" on behalf of Cunt-scabbed Bullshitting System, his no-balls producers and the evil republicunt advertisers who ordered the fucking assassination in the first fucking place.
When I first saw that footage for the first time ever, I was just one giant, cleaved-open pulsing heart, just aching with joy and pain and what we had lost. But the more that I think about it, the more that it pisses me off. Mary Hicks is one helluva woman, and far more gracious toward that turd than I would've been. Yes, I've been praising Letterman's politics since the open-heart surgery, because that's when he started GIVING A FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING, but this, this is not fucking right. You could see in her sharp blue eyes that she had never forgiven him, and probably never would. She accepted the apology, but that was the extent of it. When that woman started to tear-up, but never let a single tear fall, my fucking heart almost exploded from aching for her. That was HER BABY, and he fucking EARNED THAT, from when he was sneaking outta the house at eleven years of age to go to comedy clubs, he had fucking earned it, and they had fucking ROBBED HIM, and she will NEVER get the fuck over it, and she shouldn't. I'd give every organ in my body to charity if she could've been MY mama.
This is why I haven't really written about it yet. Because I'm TOO pissed. I'm going to take a lot of shit from the kool-aid drinkers, the rich Cali libruls who will brook no dissent amongst the ranks, etc., and I don't give a fuck about those assholes. I just want to be able to say it in a concise way, to pinpoint exactly and precisely WHY David Letterman is THE most cynical, heartless bastard on the planet for that little stunt. At this point, he's about on the same ranking as Fatfuck Limbaugh to me right now. It served no fucking purpose except to make Letterman look "good" to his followers, and to put Bill's name out there as Russell Crowe is trying to put the movie together, which I'm sure he'll cock it up com-fucking-pletely. YES, Bill had a huge Australian/Kiwi following, almost as big as Henry Rollins', but that doesn't mean that Crowe KNOWS that boy or how his mind operated. Plus, Russell ain't exactly "heartthrob" material anymore, he's old and bloated and is a breeder now. UTTERLY diametrically-opposed priorities. Bill Hicks was a beautiful man, even with the weight fluctuations, smoking/non-smoking, drugs & alcohol/clean, even as he was dying of pancreatic and liver cancer, he was still GORGEOUS. THE most perfect blue eyes that ever existed, that went back into the universe for decades, so ancient, and yet so impish, truly Randy-Pan The Goat-Boy, with the wisdom of every "wise man" and woman who has ever lived. Libra rising, the creator, and Shiva the destroyer, all in one guy, as he liked to say.
So no, it doesn't take the pain away. It pisses me off even worse. They're digging him up and bullshitting his mama for one fucking reason: MOTHERFUCKING MONEY. Period. And Letterman's self-worshiping ego/guilt trips. They have desecrated his ashes and pissed on his mama's leg and told her it's raining. Sam Kinison would be pitching a major-league bitch-fit if he were still with us, and so should Kevin Booth and Dwight and every friend & comedian he ever loved. I don't give a fuck HOW much money Sacred Cow may make off of this process, since they mandate the rights to his material, which Mary & his daddy own, IT'S BEING DONE WRONGLY. It's bass-fucking-ackwards and WRONG WRONG WRONG. And fuck Russell Crowe and Letterman sideways with a fucking chainsaw for digging him up for their OWN FUCKING PROFITS and THEIR OWN FUCKING EGOS. I never saw Jim Carrey's movie about Kaufman, because I fucking loathe Carrey and knew that it wouldn't be about Andy, it'd be about JIM, like every fucking thing that material-thieving cunt has ever done. I was trained in radio production by the guy who REALLY invented "Fire Marshall Bill" (it was "Fireman Jim" on their radio morning show, Carrey was on a press junket for "In Living Color," and he stole it COLD, right out from under them, the cunt), and I have been putting hexes on Carrey every day of his fucking life. He's a miserable sonofabitch, but not miserable ENOUGH. Jenny McCarthy is too good for him.
And Denis motherfucking Leary can do all of the 9/11 shit, all of the firemen's fundraisers, all of the "good works" that his bony catholic ass can handle, but NONE OF IT WILL EVER MEAN A FUCKING THING, because that lying fucking WEASEL-TURD MOTHERFUCKER will never EVER admit where he stole his entire fucking SCHTICK from, where he stole his ENTIRE FUCKING CAREER. And Bill, bless his heart, had to find out by hearing it OVER THE FUCKING RADIO. "The Asshole Song" is pretty much the only thing that Leary ever wrote, and even then, he had two guys help him do it. So yeah, I want Leary to die of prostate cancer, and I want it to eat his entire body from the inside out, and I want them to have to go after it FROM HIS ASSHOLE. That MIGHT approximate justice for that motherfucker. Personally, I would love to be wherever in the universe that Bill's essence might exist (I hope to hell that he didn't have to get recycled back to THIS planet, dammit, he's earned better!), so that I could sit and watch as he gets ahold of Leary's ghost the minute that motherfucker dies. Maybe he'll have to go to his catholic hell, and Bill can just light a cigarette, drop the ashes on his face and laugh, laugh, laugh. Bill wasn't about retribution or revenge, he wasn't a vindictive person at all, but he believed in KARMA, dammit, and karma has been WAY TOO FUCKING SLOW in paying back the motherfuckers who fucked HIM. So that's what I want for him. I've always said that karma is too fucking slow, and that it's my job to jab it in the ass with an electric cattle prod.
Did you cry when you watched that clip, too? I knew half the material, especially the lead-off Billy Ray bit, by HEART, but half of it was totally new to me, never been seen or heard on even the crappiest bootlegs or the BBC stuff. My heart just swelled-up with tears of joy and pain. Do you think that I'm a fucktard, to still be in love with this guy, fifteen years after he's dead, 21 years after I fell for him? Dammit, that was THE man that I was supposed to fucking marry, if I was ever to commit said act of somewhat-enslavement. But with him, it would've been EQUAL, not possession. His girlfriend was one lucky bitch, it's just a damned shame that they didn't get more time together. That man LOVED and WORSHIPED the pussy, you KNOW that she had an ASSLOAD of orgasms. Randy-Pan The Goat Boy would accept no less. There's no such thing as "a perfect man" or woman, but dammit, he was as highly-evolved as this species was gonna get, 'cause you'll notice how we've done a MASSIVE fucking U-TURN since he died. It's alllll fucking retrograde DNA now, baby. We missed the turn-off, didn't follow his path, and it's nothin' but water-headed Jerry Springer trailer-trash spawn from here on out...
And on THAT lovely note, I'll shut the fuck up. But thank you for asking. And for understanding how much Bill Hicks means to me, and why I want to kick Letterman's ass. I really had grown fond of the uppity prick, after he finally said shit that MEANT something (I never watched his old show, because IT WASN'T FUNNY TO ME, except when Hicks or Howard Stern were on), but this, this is just flat-out fucking sacrilege.
Love you.
J
And yes, Bill was sent here to help us evolve, but Bush Sr. and his New World Order succeeded in stunting human development even worse than Ronnie Ray-Gun or the bastard fucktard Dumbya did, so we live in a world with "American Idol," TMZ, and Denis thieving-cunt Leary. Leary has never done ANYTHING even REMOTELY akin to Bill Hicks' beliefs/actions, he just stole the gags, but never had the brains or soul to MEAN IT, so it was alllllll nothin' but SURFACE.
He was just on the Kennedy Center Honors Mark Twain Prize "tribute" to George Carlin, and I damned near put a boot through my television. HATE that cocksucker, because when he hit big with "No Cure For Cancer," I thought that he was NEW, that it was HIS material. I was already a Hicks addict, but hadn't ever made the money or had the money to see him in person, the albums weren't out yet, and hadn't seen him on TV in two years, at least. If I'd known that the ENTIRETY of that album was stolen straight from Hicks, I'd have destroyed the station's copy (they played "The Asshole Song" after 10P) and kept it off of the fucking air. One of the cunt dickhead men destroyed the ONE Janis Joplin album (Cheap Thrills), in order to keep her songs from being played, the neanderthal motherfucker, and I went and bought another one to replace it, to put her back into the fucking rotation, when the cunt tightwad motherfucker station owners (and the sexist-pig program director) wouldn't fucking BOTHER.
Anyway, I'm way the fuck off-topic. Russell Crowe better watch his ass. If the Vogons were skeery, he ain't seen SHIT, when it comes to fucking with my boy. Just like that clusterfuck "tribute" to HST was a GINORMOUS fucking punk-out DISAPPOINTMENT/bullshit cover-up (Can't call the name right now, got it through NetFlix), if they even THINK of dishonoring MY BOY, they gonna have a big ol' mess of bad press, among other things. I'll fuck their shit up as much as I can from here in West Redneckistan. It's bad enough that I've lost Carlin, Kinison, Pryor, Gilda Radner, damned near every comic that raised me except Cosby, I'll be gawd (or pick any invisible sky-fairy) DAMNED if they're going to defame or defile the story/image/memory of one of the most brilliant human beings who ever fucking lived. You'll never see HIM getting a big Kennedy Center honor, you'll never even see anybody ever ADMITTING that he ever EXISTED, the weak-assed pussies who robbed him BLIND while he was still alive, and they've been robbing his grave ever since. Oh, no, Bill was too "dangerous," too fucking HONEST, for the corporate whores who reign over "comedy" then and now. He wasn't "famous" enough, thanks to Letterman's treason, to "matter" to network douchebags or programming motherfuckers or magazine vultures past 1996.
The greatest poets are never recognized in their home countries, right? I bet if we could get our asses to Great Britain, we'd see fucking ALTARS to him. I noticed that the big ol' pussy-boy (he had a brief moment of honesty, but he's a company man all the fucking way NOW) Craig Ferguson said BUPKIS about Letterman's stunt on Bill's ashes. Not a fucking PEEP. He knows who signs HIS fucking checks. I wish to fuck and back that I had cable just for Showtime, HBO & The Daily Show, to see if Jon Stewart had the gonads to acknowledge the travesty. Oh, he was so special, he got to interview Carlin at the Aspen Comedy Festival (CORPORATE DOUCHEBAGS ARE US!!!), wasn't he a lucky little boy, but does he have the balls to deal with the guy who made Carlin look LAID-BACK?!?!?!? I won't be holding my breath.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Work-In-Progress: "Fuck Teh 'Tiffany Network.' "
First, Letterman helps set-up that obnoxious "intern" character, played by that obnoxious, supercillious little pissant, and then he shows up in the GRISSOM FINALE, like he's fucking EARNED IT or something. Fucking HATE that kid. And yes, I'm still severely pissed that Peterson left CSI. There are very few shows, of the six channels that I can pick up regularly (there's a seventh, but their stick is small and weak), that I actually FOLLOW. Considering my "shut-in"-type "lifestyle," television and NetFlix are the extent of my entertainment. Since I lost my stereo to the pawn shop, many, many moons ago, I don't even listen to the radio in the Fucktard Hotel apartment, because I don't have a remote to block-out the HORRIBLY, SHODDILY-WRITTEN & EXECUTED ABORTIONS that they call "advertising" in the Baton Rouge market. If I can't block out all of the ads written by and/or voiced BY THE CLIENTS (THE worst way to sell ANY product, I might add; also a HUGE pain in the ass to the production staff, who should, by rights, be allowed to bludgeon the idiotic sales reptiles with a toaster oven, every single time that they bring in some hayseed client who wants to "BE ON TEH RADIO!"), I'm not going to bother to turn on the $20 p.o.s. CD/radio/cassette clusterfuck that's all but destroyed after a year with Dullard McDumbass.
All of THAT to say that of the few shows that I watch semi-faithfully, CSI was the best. WAS. Then they killed Warrick. Cunts. Sexiest man in prime-time television. Almost TOO pretty, but you can't really hold that against him. Too bad about the DUI, though. Pretty much telegraphed to the world that he'd been written out of the show, months before that story arc aired.
As the Grissom character folded, I was thinking about writing something cute, as in, "Who's Our Next Favorite Geek?", who can fill the shoes that William Peterson left behind? Personally, I was gonna nominate Jim Parsons/"Sheldon" of "The Big Bang Theory," 'cause he reminds me so much of myself (the hyperlexic/borderline-autistic shit, NOT the 220-IQ scientific mind, obviously) and yet, he's FUNNY. Not quite the smooth, self-assured humanity of Grissom, actually quite the opposite. Sheldon's a spazz, but wryly funny as hell, even when the character's not supposed to "be" funny. The Parsons kid is good. Yeah, Galecki's still good, especially when crossing paths with Sara Gilbert, but "Leonard" is even whinier than "Sheldon" in several respects.
They all paid their respects to the departing Grissom, but the one that almost made me tear-up was "Dave Hodgins." Bullshit, cliche', pseudo-bravado, and then that plaintive little-boy line, "The bad guys will win more if we don't have you." Hodgins is a dillweed most of the time, but he was spot-on with that one. And Coroner Super-Dave, he was perfect, too. *sigh* I know, I should get a life, but in the meantime, I make do with television. TV raised me, after all, and taught me how to read before I was 20 months old. Most reliable long-term relationship of my life, nerd that I am. I still adore Larry Fishburne, even after Ike (and that was some traumatic shit!!!), but I don't know that Mr. Fishburne has ever even remotely BEEN a nerd, so I dunno how well it's going to gel.
Bobby Goren on L&O: CI, the first seasons of HOUSE & BONES (before the Melrose Place motherfuckers turned them into SOAP OPERAS, when the science was still BELIEVABLE), the short-lived old reruns of "EMERGENCY!" (no idea what's going on with KZUP, but apparently the Retro Television Network was too complicated for them to master JUST LETTING THE FUCKING SHOWS PLAY WITHOUT INTERRUPTING THEM EVERY 85 SECONDS FOR ANOTHER STATION I.D.), E.R. back when it was still worth a shit, and Cold Case. About the only half-way decent writing left on television, and they always have to keep fucking it up, twitching and tweaking it to suit some roomful of fucktards known as a "focus group," who represent nobody but the dweebs who run entire BLOGS about those TV shows, message boards, etc. More reality, less bullshit. Take HOUSE back to the science, same with BONES, maybe throw some new ideas at Cold Case, AND GIMME BACK GRISSOM, DAMMIT.
He was our first COOL GEEK. And now the fucker decides to retire.
Not quite as blood-from-eyeballs agonizing as seeing QUEEN be TORTURED TO A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH by sing-like-amputees motherfuckers on WALLY WORLD COMMERCIALS (Freddie Mercury has GOT to come back from the dead, at some point, to beat the living fuck outta these sales/marketing SCUM, dammit!!!), but annoying. When the majority of your "human" interaction is through a cathode-ray tube, they really gotta stop doing shit that sends your blood pressure up OVER TWENTY POINTS.
Like it wasn't PROJECTILE-VOMIT-INDUCING ***ENOUGH*** when I walked into the world's nastiest Wally World and saw, "WAL-MART EXCLUSIVE!" t-shirts for AC-FUCKING-DC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How in the FUCK do you stay a badassed, motherfucking AMBASSADORS FOR SATAN band WHEN YOU'RE SELLING-OUT TO THE BIBUL-BANGING, MOUTH-BREATHING, GLOBE-DEVOURING FUCKTARDS IN BENTONVILLE, ARKANSAS?!?!?!? Fuck, why don't they just go on tour with FUCKING PAT SENILE-FUCKTARD-O-RAMA BOONE?!?!?!?!?? Just twist the knife a little harder, Malcolm. Bastids. Yeah, yeah, everybody wants a nice retirement, blah blah fucking blah. Bon Scott sure as hell would never have sold t-shirts AT A FUNDY-RIFIC SWEATSHOP HELLHOLE LIKE WAL-MART!!!!!!!!!
All of THAT to say that of the few shows that I watch semi-faithfully, CSI was the best. WAS. Then they killed Warrick. Cunts. Sexiest man in prime-time television. Almost TOO pretty, but you can't really hold that against him. Too bad about the DUI, though. Pretty much telegraphed to the world that he'd been written out of the show, months before that story arc aired.
As the Grissom character folded, I was thinking about writing something cute, as in, "Who's Our Next Favorite Geek?", who can fill the shoes that William Peterson left behind? Personally, I was gonna nominate Jim Parsons/"Sheldon" of "The Big Bang Theory," 'cause he reminds me so much of myself (the hyperlexic/borderline-autistic shit, NOT the 220-IQ scientific mind, obviously) and yet, he's FUNNY. Not quite the smooth, self-assured humanity of Grissom, actually quite the opposite. Sheldon's a spazz, but wryly funny as hell, even when the character's not supposed to "be" funny. The Parsons kid is good. Yeah, Galecki's still good, especially when crossing paths with Sara Gilbert, but "Leonard" is even whinier than "Sheldon" in several respects.
They all paid their respects to the departing Grissom, but the one that almost made me tear-up was "Dave Hodgins." Bullshit, cliche', pseudo-bravado, and then that plaintive little-boy line, "The bad guys will win more if we don't have you." Hodgins is a dillweed most of the time, but he was spot-on with that one. And Coroner Super-Dave, he was perfect, too. *sigh* I know, I should get a life, but in the meantime, I make do with television. TV raised me, after all, and taught me how to read before I was 20 months old. Most reliable long-term relationship of my life, nerd that I am. I still adore Larry Fishburne, even after Ike (and that was some traumatic shit!!!), but I don't know that Mr. Fishburne has ever even remotely BEEN a nerd, so I dunno how well it's going to gel.
Bobby Goren on L&O: CI, the first seasons of HOUSE & BONES (before the Melrose Place motherfuckers turned them into SOAP OPERAS, when the science was still BELIEVABLE), the short-lived old reruns of "EMERGENCY!" (no idea what's going on with KZUP, but apparently the Retro Television Network was too complicated for them to master JUST LETTING THE FUCKING SHOWS PLAY WITHOUT INTERRUPTING THEM EVERY 85 SECONDS FOR ANOTHER STATION I.D.), E.R. back when it was still worth a shit, and Cold Case. About the only half-way decent writing left on television, and they always have to keep fucking it up, twitching and tweaking it to suit some roomful of fucktards known as a "focus group," who represent nobody but the dweebs who run entire BLOGS about those TV shows, message boards, etc. More reality, less bullshit. Take HOUSE back to the science, same with BONES, maybe throw some new ideas at Cold Case, AND GIMME BACK GRISSOM, DAMMIT.
He was our first COOL GEEK. And now the fucker decides to retire.
Not quite as blood-from-eyeballs agonizing as seeing QUEEN be TORTURED TO A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH by sing-like-amputees motherfuckers on WALLY WORLD COMMERCIALS (Freddie Mercury has GOT to come back from the dead, at some point, to beat the living fuck outta these sales/marketing SCUM, dammit!!!), but annoying. When the majority of your "human" interaction is through a cathode-ray tube, they really gotta stop doing shit that sends your blood pressure up OVER TWENTY POINTS.
Like it wasn't PROJECTILE-VOMIT-INDUCING ***ENOUGH*** when I walked into the world's nastiest Wally World and saw, "WAL-MART EXCLUSIVE!" t-shirts for AC-FUCKING-DC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How in the FUCK do you stay a badassed, motherfucking AMBASSADORS FOR SATAN band WHEN YOU'RE SELLING-OUT TO THE BIBUL-BANGING, MOUTH-BREATHING, GLOBE-DEVOURING FUCKTARDS IN BENTONVILLE, ARKANSAS?!?!?!? Fuck, why don't they just go on tour with FUCKING PAT SENILE-FUCKTARD-O-RAMA BOONE?!?!?!?!?? Just twist the knife a little harder, Malcolm. Bastids. Yeah, yeah, everybody wants a nice retirement, blah blah fucking blah. Bon Scott sure as hell would never have sold t-shirts AT A FUNDY-RIFIC SWEATSHOP HELLHOLE LIKE WAL-MART!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
People Who Make Ya Go "GACK!"
The title link is a moral/human GACK, but the people who make ME go "GACK!" are the pure-breeders. Saturdays & Sundays @ my house are primarily PBS days/nights, but it's not always great programming. This being Nouveau-Riche-White-Trash Central, they are thicker than maggots on roadkill, so the choice in programming isn't a shock, but it is an annoyance. I love cat people, I am cat people, but it's the eugenics-minded BREEEEDERS who make my flesh crawl. To only see value in the animals which you design, in the "pure blood," in the anal-retentive "criteria" for what is "acceptable" in an animal, who should be an independent creature unto itself... to watch these weirdos (generally too much money & free time) IDENTIFY THEMSELVES through their "breeding programs" and how many ribbons those animals "win" --- beyond disturbing. Every animal (except armadillos, poisonous snakes, and Irish Channel & French Quarter teamster rats) deserves to be loved and respected, dammit. Not just the ones who go for $400+.
Biddy & Boy usually enjoy the nature/animal programming, especially the big cats, and I'm sure that they'll enjoy this much more appropriate endeavor, about "The Wolf That Changed America," but I'm proud to report that they slept through that entire frou-frou cat-show shit.
CC's post about Rollins' new adventures led me to a link on HuffPo about Katrina Children, suffering the fallout of genocidal no-bid contracts on those piece-of-shit trailers (remember the formaldehyde?), which I read as the poufters and prancers went on and on, ad nauseum, about the precious priceless cats that "they" had "created." Talk about your nauseating juxtoposition. While the current series about the Britsh Monarchy has been exceedingly pedantic and voyeuristic, oohing and ahhing about the jewels, money & manpower wasted to prop-up the pomp & circumstance, at least QE2 has EARNED respect, that woman busted her ASS during WWII and after, holding that country together after the Blitz, giving terrified people hope and making sure that the bastards didn't win. I can think of a billion better ways to utilize the resources of PBS & BBC, not to mention the MILLIONS of gallons of jet fuel, pounds sterling, and labor wasted just for her Birthday Celebration, but at least the woman puts in an honest day of work.
But to read about my people, the people of New Orleans, the survivors of Katrina, having to watch their own children suffer & die as the aftermath of a federally-mandated genocide, whilst a bunch of very-sheltered/spoiled white people prance around with overpriced inbred "purebred" cats, as I know how many cats, dogs, birds, horses, you name it, were left behind during Katrina, and what the rescue margins were after the fact --- makes me borderline violent. Smug, Bush-loving, yuppie scum.
I saw what the women & men of the LSU Vet School & Ag Center did, I watched them busting their asses even as FEMA was appropriating THEIR money, to match these traumatized animals with their humans, to find shelter for the ones who couldn't be reunited, and to care for the sick, injured and dying. I took multiple truckloads of supplies to them, I slipped the director a wad of cash when the FEMA dorks weren't looking, because they'd even seized her PETTY CASH and day-to-day OPERATING FUNDS. There are too many animals in the Gulf South, in Louisiana, in New Orleans, and beyond, for me to give a flying rat-fuck about a bunch of pretentious idiots in Houston who'd rather spend thousands on show cats than to contribute a DIME to ferals or strays. Fuck your purebreds, devote some of that time, effort & money where it's NEEDED, you arrogant twats.
So LPB and PBS can kiss my ass on that note.
Biddy & Boy usually enjoy the nature/animal programming, especially the big cats, and I'm sure that they'll enjoy this much more appropriate endeavor, about "The Wolf That Changed America," but I'm proud to report that they slept through that entire frou-frou cat-show shit.
CC's post about Rollins' new adventures led me to a link on HuffPo about Katrina Children, suffering the fallout of genocidal no-bid contracts on those piece-of-shit trailers (remember the formaldehyde?), which I read as the poufters and prancers went on and on, ad nauseum, about the precious priceless cats that "they" had "created." Talk about your nauseating juxtoposition. While the current series about the Britsh Monarchy has been exceedingly pedantic and voyeuristic, oohing and ahhing about the jewels, money & manpower wasted to prop-up the pomp & circumstance, at least QE2 has EARNED respect, that woman busted her ASS during WWII and after, holding that country together after the Blitz, giving terrified people hope and making sure that the bastards didn't win. I can think of a billion better ways to utilize the resources of PBS & BBC, not to mention the MILLIONS of gallons of jet fuel, pounds sterling, and labor wasted just for her Birthday Celebration, but at least the woman puts in an honest day of work.
But to read about my people, the people of New Orleans, the survivors of Katrina, having to watch their own children suffer & die as the aftermath of a federally-mandated genocide, whilst a bunch of very-sheltered/spoiled white people prance around with overpriced inbred "purebred" cats, as I know how many cats, dogs, birds, horses, you name it, were left behind during Katrina, and what the rescue margins were after the fact --- makes me borderline violent. Smug, Bush-loving, yuppie scum.
I saw what the women & men of the LSU Vet School & Ag Center did, I watched them busting their asses even as FEMA was appropriating THEIR money, to match these traumatized animals with their humans, to find shelter for the ones who couldn't be reunited, and to care for the sick, injured and dying. I took multiple truckloads of supplies to them, I slipped the director a wad of cash when the FEMA dorks weren't looking, because they'd even seized her PETTY CASH and day-to-day OPERATING FUNDS. There are too many animals in the Gulf South, in Louisiana, in New Orleans, and beyond, for me to give a flying rat-fuck about a bunch of pretentious idiots in Houston who'd rather spend thousands on show cats than to contribute a DIME to ferals or strays. Fuck your purebreds, devote some of that time, effort & money where it's NEEDED, you arrogant twats.
So LPB and PBS can kiss my ass on that note.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Just Another Day In Fucktardia
Two days, L'Hotel du Fucktards & teh surrounding environs of Fucktardia (West Redneckistan Parish) have been under semi-siege, as there's YET ANOTHER escaped inmate from a private subcontractor's enterprise RENTING OUT SLAVE LABOR TO COMMERCIAL ENTERPRISE. Gee, what could POSSIBLY go wrong with THAT?!?!?? Guy's got a 13-year rap sheet, but they're bullshitting us all into supposedly believing that he's a "non-violent offender." Yeah, and I'm a virginal anorexic supermodel.
Anybody who watches PBS knows that this entire area (both Feliciana Parishes + North EBR) is PRISON ENTERPRISES CENTRAL. Angola didn't get that rep by accident. Where once were flourishing slave-labor plantations, are now slave-labor prisons & "facilities" for the insane, criminally and otherwise. And the rednecks around here couldn't GET their little dicks any harder tonight, knowing that their FAVORITE KIND OF HUNTING SEASON is afoot. When they won't even release WHICH PRISON THE DUDE ESCAPED FROM, you KNOW somebody fucked-up BIG-TIME. Oh, and don't believe the NBC-affiliate link in the title. They confiscated his cellphone the day BEFORE yesterday, when he was finalizing his PLANS for the escape (it's never a one-man operation, kids, just ask Steve McQueen), they fucking KNEW that he was headed for the fence, and YET, the fucking morons LEFT HIM IN THAT LOW-SECURITY HOUSING FACILITY --- IN A RESIDENTIAL NEIGHBORHOOD (but of course a lower-income BLACK neighborhood, so who cares, right?) --- TO GO BACK OUT ON THE JOB THE NEXT FUCKING DAY AFTER THEY SEIZED THE CELLPHONE.
Can you say, "DUH?!?!?!?!" I knew that you could.
Yeah, the guy is a convict. Duh. He didn't get there by eating ice cream @ a baptist dinner-on-the-grounds. What is amusing is watching teh republicunt media of Baton Rouge helping COVER THE ASSES OF THE THIEVING, LYING, KLAN-MOTHERFUCKER ALCOHOLICS WHO THINK THEMSELVES THE PRIME "MASSAHS" OF THEIR ENTIRE GOOBER DOMAIN. Well, not so much "amusing" as it is INFURIATINGLY INCESSANT. They make a killing off of the backs of the inmates, and then they have to piss the STATE'S money away CATCHING THE INMATES THAT THEIR DUMBASSED RELATIVES COULDN'T KEEP IN CUSTODY. Ah, nepotism, where would Louisiana be without it... oh, right. Maybe the 21st Century.
One of the drama queens here @ L'Hotel du Fucktards called teh po-po's and told 'em that she'd seen "a man" run into & out of L'Hotel. Seven deputies in seven patrol units, four prison guards in blue fatigues, three town Barney Fifes, and a partridge in a pear tree, all piled-up into L'Hotel du Fucktards parking lot and driveway, whilst I'm trying to take 2 very unhappy tomcats back to their home out in the boonies.
The funniest part, to me, of the TOTAL BULLSHIT SMOKESCREEN, is that the dude is FROM NEW ORLEANS, and yet they're lying their fat asses off, swearing that HE'S HEADING NORTH.
Right.
That motherfucker was across the river before dark on Thursday and is probably deep in the Gretna projects by now, but these jerkoffs are standing around with their thumbs up their asses, like that's ACCOMPLISHING ANYTHING, and when the BR news vans show up, OH! Suddenly Angola guards blossom like mushrooms in bullshit, minus the bloodhounds and the tracking team. Yeah, THAT accomplishes a lot. Long as they get that Angola logo onto teh teevee, all teh white middle-class folk will feel safe & secure in their cul-de-sacs, and the bi-annual rodeo won't lose a dime. Riiiiiiiight.
Normally, I don't give a rat's ass about the inmate escapes (average 1 every 2 months, but this is two in TEN DAYS), but this circle-jerk of a clusterfuck (shaddup , I can mangle my metaphors if I wanna) is not only an egregious waste of YOUR tax dollars (Homeland Security paid for BOTH of the helicopters that Dep'ty Dawg, aka Teh Grand Dragon Sheriff DOESN'T ACTUALLY NEED, 'CAUSE THEY DON'T ACCOMPLISH A FUCKING THING) and of manpower, but THEY'RE NOT GETTING A FUCKING THING DONE. And yes, I'm talking about the same motherfucker who covered-up my nephew's murder. He has more money & power than every Southern stereotype you've ever seen in every crappy movie, ALL COMBINED, with Boss Hogg as the cherry on top. And the IQ of your average kumquat. But he knows how to milk the system, hence the repeated occasions that he's been BUSTED ON LIVE TELEVISION for using parolees and inmates as SLAVE LABOR AT HIS HOUSE, his mama's house, his brother-in-law's house, etc. So,y'know, he knows how to get the money, he just doesn't know how to keep from fucking it up. And he's too fucking tight to PAY somebody to cut his fucking yard.
I know a lot of people in law enforcement, in corrections, in parole/probation, and even jail and prison guards. Unfortunately, I am (at least technically) related to a couple of them. I don't begrudge them the jobs (if they're the ones who actually DO the jobs), but I do begrudge the FUCK out of a state where POOR PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO STARVE AND DIE OF CANCER VIA EXXON-MOBIL, WITH NO PUBLIC HEALTH SYSTEM WHATSOFUCKINGEVER, whilst a bunch of SWAT-wannabe testosterone junkies who don't even have G.E.D.s, ride around in humvees, pretending to be paramilitary, and THEY AIN'T GETTING THE FUCKING JOB DONE, but they make a HELLUVA SHOW OF IT!!!!!!
When it comes to the multiple serial killers we've had SINCE THE DESTRUCTION OF FEMINISM IN THIS COUNTRY (yes, there IS a fucking corollary), including the serial killer(s) that are currently operating in SW LA (well, between Whisky Bay & Lake Charles, so kinda South-Central) they are NOT making the Capitol City news whatsofuckingever. Oh, wait, that's riiiiiight, they're not JUST RICH WHITE SUBURBANITE BREEDERS, therefore they don't count. This one's mixing it up. Gillis only did hookers, so nobody really gave a fuck about him, but Derrick Todd Lee, they pinned EVERY unsolved female murder of the past 20 fucking years on him, SO THAT THEY WOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THE FUCKING WORK, when, even though he's a wife-stomping, woman-hating, mutilating rapist ANIMAL, he ain't bright enough to have done them ALL. Zachary P.D. should've had his peeping-tom, attempted-rapist, wife-beating ass in jail TWENTY FUCKING YEARS AGO, but they couldn't be BOTHERED to DO THEIR FUCKING JOB, EITHER. That's why you had so many women hacked-up like roadkill by that sick, evil, piece-of-shit motherfucker. BECAUSE THE COPS DIDN'T DO THEIR FUCKING JOBS IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE. Period. Ask anybody from the Felicianas, Baton Rouge or the Florida Parishes. ALL of the cops knew about Derrick. But it was only hurting WOMEN, so who gives a fuck? OH, WAIT! Now he's doing RICH WHITE WOMEN!!! EEEEEKKK!!!!!! WE CAN MAKE A FUCKING ***FORTUNE*** IN ADDITIONAL STATE & FEDERAL FUNDING TO HUNT *THIS* MOTHERFUCKER DOWN, ***NOW*** IT MATTERS!!!!!!!
In other words, just like the Murdoch Media Model, crime only matters when the suspect/escaped convict is a "big scary black man" and the victims are RICH/UPPER-MIDDLE-CLASS CAUCASIAN SUBURBANITES. I bet that the redneck republicunts who fled up here before & after Katrina never even THOUGHT about the circumference of prisons that ring both of these parishes, when they saw how cheap the acreage was, did they... dumbasses.
They LET this shit happen. The money was appropriated, like five years ago, to build Dep'ty Dawg a new, bigger prison, since the parish is losing its ASS on housing pre-trial prisoners ALL OVER THE FUCKING STATE, but somehow, it never happened. Gee, wonder why... And I'll bet y'all a dollar to a doughnut that THIS shit is the frontal wave of the next PRO-GUN, PRO-KLAN, PRO-PRISON-INDUSTRY wave of tax votes, constitutional bullshit, etc. Just wait. Piyush will be on this shit like, well, like a republicunt on coffers full of other people's money.
Have I mentioned how much I fucking loathe this place? Did I already do that bit? These ignorant redneck republicunts are getting skeerier and skeerier, every fucking day. They're VERY fucking pissed about the next president ("how DARE that colored boy think that he can be PRESIDENT, I don't give a rat's ass WHO voted for him!!!"), they're stocking-up on guns & ammo again, and they're damned and determined to start a race war, even if they have to pay somebody else to do it, the pussies.
What really pisses me off is that this USED TO BE a really cool, funky, unique, quirky little Southern town, where everybody was just themselves, and nobody tried to shoehorn jeebus down your fucking throat, and everybody GOT ALONG. No racial tension, just PEOPLE. No sexism, no hairy-knuckled neanderthals, no THREATENING WOMEN, just PEOPLE. Now it's a fucking PLANTATION OF PRISONERS and teh LILY-WHITE WUSSIES WHO WANK TO THE IDEA OF LARGE, MUSCULAR BLACK MEN IN CHAINS.
Rene' may hate it when I'm right, but let's face it: As unattractive as it is, MY GUT IS NEVER WRONG. 'Member all of those Halliburton secret prisons, in backwater bumfucks across the country? They ain't gonna stay empty for long.
Anybody who watches PBS knows that this entire area (both Feliciana Parishes + North EBR) is PRISON ENTERPRISES CENTRAL. Angola didn't get that rep by accident. Where once were flourishing slave-labor plantations, are now slave-labor prisons & "facilities" for the insane, criminally and otherwise. And the rednecks around here couldn't GET their little dicks any harder tonight, knowing that their FAVORITE KIND OF HUNTING SEASON is afoot. When they won't even release WHICH PRISON THE DUDE ESCAPED FROM, you KNOW somebody fucked-up BIG-TIME. Oh, and don't believe the NBC-affiliate link in the title. They confiscated his cellphone the day BEFORE yesterday, when he was finalizing his PLANS for the escape (it's never a one-man operation, kids, just ask Steve McQueen), they fucking KNEW that he was headed for the fence, and YET, the fucking morons LEFT HIM IN THAT LOW-SECURITY HOUSING FACILITY --- IN A RESIDENTIAL NEIGHBORHOOD (but of course a lower-income BLACK neighborhood, so who cares, right?) --- TO GO BACK OUT ON THE JOB THE NEXT FUCKING DAY AFTER THEY SEIZED THE CELLPHONE.
Can you say, "DUH?!?!?!?!" I knew that you could.
Yeah, the guy is a convict. Duh. He didn't get there by eating ice cream @ a baptist dinner-on-the-grounds. What is amusing is watching teh republicunt media of Baton Rouge helping COVER THE ASSES OF THE THIEVING, LYING, KLAN-MOTHERFUCKER ALCOHOLICS WHO THINK THEMSELVES THE PRIME "MASSAHS" OF THEIR ENTIRE GOOBER DOMAIN. Well, not so much "amusing" as it is INFURIATINGLY INCESSANT. They make a killing off of the backs of the inmates, and then they have to piss the STATE'S money away CATCHING THE INMATES THAT THEIR DUMBASSED RELATIVES COULDN'T KEEP IN CUSTODY. Ah, nepotism, where would Louisiana be without it... oh, right. Maybe the 21st Century.
One of the drama queens here @ L'Hotel du Fucktards called teh po-po's and told 'em that she'd seen "a man" run into & out of L'Hotel. Seven deputies in seven patrol units, four prison guards in blue fatigues, three town Barney Fifes, and a partridge in a pear tree, all piled-up into L'Hotel du Fucktards parking lot and driveway, whilst I'm trying to take 2 very unhappy tomcats back to their home out in the boonies.
The funniest part, to me, of the TOTAL BULLSHIT SMOKESCREEN, is that the dude is FROM NEW ORLEANS, and yet they're lying their fat asses off, swearing that HE'S HEADING NORTH.
Right.
That motherfucker was across the river before dark on Thursday and is probably deep in the Gretna projects by now, but these jerkoffs are standing around with their thumbs up their asses, like that's ACCOMPLISHING ANYTHING, and when the BR news vans show up, OH! Suddenly Angola guards blossom like mushrooms in bullshit, minus the bloodhounds and the tracking team. Yeah, THAT accomplishes a lot. Long as they get that Angola logo onto teh teevee, all teh white middle-class folk will feel safe & secure in their cul-de-sacs, and the bi-annual rodeo won't lose a dime. Riiiiiiiight.
Normally, I don't give a rat's ass about the inmate escapes (average 1 every 2 months, but this is two in TEN DAYS), but this circle-jerk of a clusterfuck (shaddup , I can mangle my metaphors if I wanna) is not only an egregious waste of YOUR tax dollars (Homeland Security paid for BOTH of the helicopters that Dep'ty Dawg, aka Teh Grand Dragon Sheriff DOESN'T ACTUALLY NEED, 'CAUSE THEY DON'T ACCOMPLISH A FUCKING THING) and of manpower, but THEY'RE NOT GETTING A FUCKING THING DONE. And yes, I'm talking about the same motherfucker who covered-up my nephew's murder. He has more money & power than every Southern stereotype you've ever seen in every crappy movie, ALL COMBINED, with Boss Hogg as the cherry on top. And the IQ of your average kumquat. But he knows how to milk the system, hence the repeated occasions that he's been BUSTED ON LIVE TELEVISION for using parolees and inmates as SLAVE LABOR AT HIS HOUSE, his mama's house, his brother-in-law's house, etc. So,y'know, he knows how to get the money, he just doesn't know how to keep from fucking it up. And he's too fucking tight to PAY somebody to cut his fucking yard.
I know a lot of people in law enforcement, in corrections, in parole/probation, and even jail and prison guards. Unfortunately, I am (at least technically) related to a couple of them. I don't begrudge them the jobs (if they're the ones who actually DO the jobs), but I do begrudge the FUCK out of a state where POOR PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO STARVE AND DIE OF CANCER VIA EXXON-MOBIL, WITH NO PUBLIC HEALTH SYSTEM WHATSOFUCKINGEVER, whilst a bunch of SWAT-wannabe testosterone junkies who don't even have G.E.D.s, ride around in humvees, pretending to be paramilitary, and THEY AIN'T GETTING THE FUCKING JOB DONE, but they make a HELLUVA SHOW OF IT!!!!!!
When it comes to the multiple serial killers we've had SINCE THE DESTRUCTION OF FEMINISM IN THIS COUNTRY (yes, there IS a fucking corollary), including the serial killer(s) that are currently operating in SW LA (well, between Whisky Bay & Lake Charles, so kinda South-Central) they are NOT making the Capitol City news whatsofuckingever. Oh, wait, that's riiiiiight, they're not JUST RICH WHITE SUBURBANITE BREEDERS, therefore they don't count. This one's mixing it up. Gillis only did hookers, so nobody really gave a fuck about him, but Derrick Todd Lee, they pinned EVERY unsolved female murder of the past 20 fucking years on him, SO THAT THEY WOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THE FUCKING WORK, when, even though he's a wife-stomping, woman-hating, mutilating rapist ANIMAL, he ain't bright enough to have done them ALL. Zachary P.D. should've had his peeping-tom, attempted-rapist, wife-beating ass in jail TWENTY FUCKING YEARS AGO, but they couldn't be BOTHERED to DO THEIR FUCKING JOB, EITHER. That's why you had so many women hacked-up like roadkill by that sick, evil, piece-of-shit motherfucker. BECAUSE THE COPS DIDN'T DO THEIR FUCKING JOBS IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE. Period. Ask anybody from the Felicianas, Baton Rouge or the Florida Parishes. ALL of the cops knew about Derrick. But it was only hurting WOMEN, so who gives a fuck? OH, WAIT! Now he's doing RICH WHITE WOMEN!!! EEEEEKKK!!!!!! WE CAN MAKE A FUCKING ***FORTUNE*** IN ADDITIONAL STATE & FEDERAL FUNDING TO HUNT *THIS* MOTHERFUCKER DOWN, ***NOW*** IT MATTERS!!!!!!!
In other words, just like the Murdoch Media Model, crime only matters when the suspect/escaped convict is a "big scary black man" and the victims are RICH/UPPER-MIDDLE-CLASS CAUCASIAN SUBURBANITES. I bet that the redneck republicunts who fled up here before & after Katrina never even THOUGHT about the circumference of prisons that ring both of these parishes, when they saw how cheap the acreage was, did they... dumbasses.
They LET this shit happen. The money was appropriated, like five years ago, to build Dep'ty Dawg a new, bigger prison, since the parish is losing its ASS on housing pre-trial prisoners ALL OVER THE FUCKING STATE, but somehow, it never happened. Gee, wonder why... And I'll bet y'all a dollar to a doughnut that THIS shit is the frontal wave of the next PRO-GUN, PRO-KLAN, PRO-PRISON-INDUSTRY wave of tax votes, constitutional bullshit, etc. Just wait. Piyush will be on this shit like, well, like a republicunt on coffers full of other people's money.
Have I mentioned how much I fucking loathe this place? Did I already do that bit? These ignorant redneck republicunts are getting skeerier and skeerier, every fucking day. They're VERY fucking pissed about the next president ("how DARE that colored boy think that he can be PRESIDENT, I don't give a rat's ass WHO voted for him!!!"), they're stocking-up on guns & ammo again, and they're damned and determined to start a race war, even if they have to pay somebody else to do it, the pussies.
What really pisses me off is that this USED TO BE a really cool, funky, unique, quirky little Southern town, where everybody was just themselves, and nobody tried to shoehorn jeebus down your fucking throat, and everybody GOT ALONG. No racial tension, just PEOPLE. No sexism, no hairy-knuckled neanderthals, no THREATENING WOMEN, just PEOPLE. Now it's a fucking PLANTATION OF PRISONERS and teh LILY-WHITE WUSSIES WHO WANK TO THE IDEA OF LARGE, MUSCULAR BLACK MEN IN CHAINS.
Rene' may hate it when I'm right, but let's face it: As unattractive as it is, MY GUT IS NEVER WRONG. 'Member all of those Halliburton secret prisons, in backwater bumfucks across the country? They ain't gonna stay empty for long.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
111208 Mourning Craig
11-12-08/1:11A
Mourning Craig
The morons keep bringing me rumors
Designed for naught but torture.
I hope the kumquats are getting
their teeny-tiny shriveled rocks off on my pain.
I'll never know
I'll never have proof of truth
I'll never see justice
or touch that beautiful boy cat again.
It's always the cats I've raised
The ones whom I've devoted/invested the most
love, time, care, effort, affection in...
Some sick fucker is doing the serial killings of my baby cats
just to kill me
more and more
every fucking time.
Smudge, my first semi-feral
tiny little handful of purr
snuggled into my clavicle
heartbeat warm & strong
Pure joy & love, every time he saw me,
vocalizing, rubbing, purring, arching
to get the most from my every touch.
Even as he grew & matured into a
semi-aloof teenager,
he still came to me every day,
and not just for food.
And they threw his little mangled
murdered body into a fucking DUMPSTER
like he was less than nothing
They laughed as I walked the acreage
crying Smudge's name
Their psychotic, moronic, sadistic little games,
lies all around;
I'll never know the full truth
I'll never be able to tell Smudge
Goodbye.
Then not 3 months later, his sister.
Tommie Two-Toes never liked me,
even as a tiny scared baby.
Papi trusted me not to harm his children,
but I couldn't save the badassed bitch queen
from another cold-hearted murder.
I tried to never attach again, but the little bastards
wormed their way into my soul, any damned way.
Beautiful baby Roberta,
leopard spots on her belly,
pure love in her eyes, purr and heart.
I wanted to keep her so badly, to make her my own
(since she'd already hired me as staff anyway)
but of course THAT could never happen.
Thanks a ton again, LandSkanky.
I found her a "home" with callous, bloodsport redneck republicunts
and within 2 months,
she was part of U.S. 61.
They didn't even notice
They never once did care
Just another vermin to them
Another lost child to me.
No serial killer there, far as I know
My guilt kicks-in every time
that I wonder whether she died
in trying to return to me
or trying to outrun another sick-fuck redneck's truck.
There are so many of them,
serial-killer wannabes
sociopaths who target cats
because, to them, it's "FUNNY"
and besides, it's not like "anybody"
will CARE, right.
I lost Marina, Cathy's heart & soul
in trying to save her neglected life
in trying to make that 18-year-old dowager
COMFORTABLE, healthy, ENJOY her last years,
free of the flea plague.
And I fucked it up.
And I saw the light leave her eyes
Only death I've ever witnessed,
let alone in, by my own hands.
I wanted to help her, save her ---
and the bath killed her
and the friendship I thought I had.
And now I'm paying for that (still).
Apparently, for every single fuckup of my life.
I've mourned animals, friends, beloved humans before.
But the kidnapping/murder of Craig
is damned near killing me, but is never merciful enough to ACTUALLY kill me.
Not to belittle my Nannie or Papa or Tater's deaths,
because I'd STILL have happily taken those bullets.
But Craig...
This makes me want to murder
(yes, I still want to murder Tater's crack-whore closet-case killers,
and the now-unlicensed HACK who turned my Nannie into goulash)
Losing Craig is damned close to how I felt when Tater
was taken from me.
I want to not wake up in a hellhole that murders much-beloved baby boys
FOR SHITS & GIGGLES.
Yes, the world has changed for the better in the past 8 days, in the big picture.
But here in Fucktard Central,
all of Obama's best efforts,
it'll never make a dent.
These ignorant cocksuckers still won't
ACKNOWLEDGE THE DEATH OF JIM CROW.
To them, a cat's death is a GOOD THING.
Same thing for a poor human boy.
Small wonder that woman-hating
white trash from DeRidder feel
"empowered" to inflict their vast ignorance &
willful, purposeful EVIL upon this place, those cats, ME.
I wish I'd been able to save Craig's two orange brothers
(dumped here when I was having spine surgeries #3&4 last year)
I wish I could find the scum who threw three tame babies out.
I lost Xena becasue she got here abused & brain-damaged,
and I will pay for that the rest of my days.
But dammit, no matter my billions of failures & fuckups,
on NO PLANET IN ANY FUCKING UNIVERSE IS IT
FAIR TO PUNISH CRAIG FOR MY STUPIDITY!!!!!!
I know that nothing in "life," as they call it, is "fair."
If "fair" or "justice" or "gawd" existed,
I would've taken that bullet for Tater,
that cancer for Nannie & Papa,
that "fan belt" for Smudge & Tommie,
that brain damage for Xena,
that sudden fragile death for Marina.
I've tried to do good, but have ALWAYS fucked it up.
BUT DAMMIT, why do my babies always have to pay?!?!?!?!?
It sure as hell ain't "survival of the fittest" when it's MURDER.
Not one species has been "improved"
by lowlife scum
stealing the lives of Tater or Craig.
THERE IS NO FUCKING POINT.
THERE IS NO TRUE REASON.
THERE IS NEVER ANY JUSTICE.
THERE NEVER WAS A "GAWD."
Tater should've been 21 today,
finally legal for his cigarettes & beer,
free of the junkie-dealer parasites
who sucked his life away
then prancing away scot-free.
He never yet has visited me.
No dreams, no practical jokes, no ghost, not one touch from the other side,
like all of THEM claim to have received.
Why won't he come? Not even in a Bunch-family-style precognitive dream?
I miss his voice, his laugh, his smile, his brain, his beauty;
that huge heart, though never quite pure...
big enough to hug & hold anyone.
He was no "angel," but he was SO GOOD.
He deserved to build a life for himself.
He deserved to be free.
The timing is sickening.
My heart is shattered into a million more
tiny shards over my baby-boy cat,
the same day that Tater should be
celebrating, laughing, succeeding,
growing up, even past his achingly old-soul eyes,
growing up enough to love himself
beyond all of the pain, abandonment & damage.
He deserved the chance to HEAL, dammit.
But the klan cocksucker "sheriff" keeps getting away with it,
while the main murderer is fucking Tater's big "sister."
Yeah, THAT'S fucking fair.
Like she didn't get enough attention when he killed her brother,
like purposefully giving her baby a heart defect didn't make her
enough of a martyr.
And somewhere, out there, some no-dick fucktard
sucker-of-satan's-cock MOTHERFUCKER
is probably still chortling or pulling his tiny pud,
as he gloats over murdering such a beautiful,
bright, loving, expressive, gentle, funny,
amazing baby boy cat.
He was almost like Tater in a cat suit.
And I wasn't there.
It always happens when I'm not there.
Pulling the plugs on Papa & Nannie,
throwing Smudge INTO THE TRASH,
killing Tommie,
turning Roberta into pavement,
putting that .22 bullet into Tater's
beautiful face & mind,
destroying Xena's mind and soul,
taking/hurting/killing baby Craig.
I WASN'T THERE.
I DIDN'T SAVE THEM.
Designed for naught but torture.
I hope the kumquats are getting
their teeny-tiny shriveled rocks off on my pain.
I'll never know
I'll never have proof of truth
I'll never see justice
or touch that beautiful boy cat again.
It's always the cats I've raised
The ones whom I've devoted/invested the most
love, time, care, effort, affection in...
Some sick fucker is doing the serial killings of my baby cats
just to kill me
more and more
every fucking time.
Smudge, my first semi-feral
tiny little handful of purr
snuggled into my clavicle
heartbeat warm & strong
Pure joy & love, every time he saw me,
vocalizing, rubbing, purring, arching
to get the most from my every touch.
Even as he grew & matured into a
semi-aloof teenager,
he still came to me every day,
and not just for food.
And they threw his little mangled
murdered body into a fucking DUMPSTER
like he was less than nothing
They laughed as I walked the acreage
crying Smudge's name
Their psychotic, moronic, sadistic little games,
lies all around;
I'll never know the full truth
I'll never be able to tell Smudge
Goodbye.
Then not 3 months later, his sister.
Tommie Two-Toes never liked me,
even as a tiny scared baby.
Papi trusted me not to harm his children,
but I couldn't save the badassed bitch queen
from another cold-hearted murder.
I tried to never attach again, but the little bastards
wormed their way into my soul, any damned way.
Beautiful baby Roberta,
leopard spots on her belly,
pure love in her eyes, purr and heart.
I wanted to keep her so badly, to make her my own
(since she'd already hired me as staff anyway)
but of course THAT could never happen.
Thanks a ton again, LandSkanky.
I found her a "home" with callous, bloodsport redneck republicunts
and within 2 months,
she was part of U.S. 61.
They didn't even notice
They never once did care
Just another vermin to them
Another lost child to me.
No serial killer there, far as I know
My guilt kicks-in every time
that I wonder whether she died
in trying to return to me
or trying to outrun another sick-fuck redneck's truck.
There are so many of them,
serial-killer wannabes
sociopaths who target cats
because, to them, it's "FUNNY"
and besides, it's not like "anybody"
will CARE, right.
I lost Marina, Cathy's heart & soul
in trying to save her neglected life
in trying to make that 18-year-old dowager
COMFORTABLE, healthy, ENJOY her last years,
free of the flea plague.
And I fucked it up.
And I saw the light leave her eyes
Only death I've ever witnessed,
let alone in, by my own hands.
I wanted to help her, save her ---
and the bath killed her
and the friendship I thought I had.
And now I'm paying for that (still).
Apparently, for every single fuckup of my life.
I've mourned animals, friends, beloved humans before.
But the kidnapping/murder of Craig
is damned near killing me, but is never merciful enough to ACTUALLY kill me.
Not to belittle my Nannie or Papa or Tater's deaths,
because I'd STILL have happily taken those bullets.
But Craig...
This makes me want to murder
(yes, I still want to murder Tater's crack-whore closet-case killers,
and the now-unlicensed HACK who turned my Nannie into goulash)
Losing Craig is damned close to how I felt when Tater
was taken from me.
I want to not wake up in a hellhole that murders much-beloved baby boys
FOR SHITS & GIGGLES.
Yes, the world has changed for the better in the past 8 days, in the big picture.
But here in Fucktard Central,
all of Obama's best efforts,
it'll never make a dent.
These ignorant cocksuckers still won't
ACKNOWLEDGE THE DEATH OF JIM CROW.
To them, a cat's death is a GOOD THING.
Same thing for a poor human boy.
Small wonder that woman-hating
white trash from DeRidder feel
"empowered" to inflict their vast ignorance &
willful, purposeful EVIL upon this place, those cats, ME.
I wish I'd been able to save Craig's two orange brothers
(dumped here when I was having spine surgeries #3&4 last year)
I wish I could find the scum who threw three tame babies out.
I lost Xena becasue she got here abused & brain-damaged,
and I will pay for that the rest of my days.
But dammit, no matter my billions of failures & fuckups,
on NO PLANET IN ANY FUCKING UNIVERSE IS IT
FAIR TO PUNISH CRAIG FOR MY STUPIDITY!!!!!!
I know that nothing in "life," as they call it, is "fair."
If "fair" or "justice" or "gawd" existed,
I would've taken that bullet for Tater,
that cancer for Nannie & Papa,
that "fan belt" for Smudge & Tommie,
that brain damage for Xena,
that sudden fragile death for Marina.
I've tried to do good, but have ALWAYS fucked it up.
BUT DAMMIT, why do my babies always have to pay?!?!?!?!?
It sure as hell ain't "survival of the fittest" when it's MURDER.
Not one species has been "improved"
by lowlife scum
stealing the lives of Tater or Craig.
THERE IS NO FUCKING POINT.
THERE IS NO TRUE REASON.
THERE IS NEVER ANY JUSTICE.
THERE NEVER WAS A "GAWD."
Tater should've been 21 today,
finally legal for his cigarettes & beer,
free of the junkie-dealer parasites
who sucked his life away
then prancing away scot-free.
He never yet has visited me.
No dreams, no practical jokes, no ghost, not one touch from the other side,
like all of THEM claim to have received.
Why won't he come? Not even in a Bunch-family-style precognitive dream?
I miss his voice, his laugh, his smile, his brain, his beauty;
that huge heart, though never quite pure...
big enough to hug & hold anyone.
He was no "angel," but he was SO GOOD.
He deserved to build a life for himself.
He deserved to be free.
The timing is sickening.
My heart is shattered into a million more
tiny shards over my baby-boy cat,
the same day that Tater should be
celebrating, laughing, succeeding,
growing up, even past his achingly old-soul eyes,
growing up enough to love himself
beyond all of the pain, abandonment & damage.
He deserved the chance to HEAL, dammit.
But the klan cocksucker "sheriff" keeps getting away with it,
while the main murderer is fucking Tater's big "sister."
Yeah, THAT'S fucking fair.
Like she didn't get enough attention when he killed her brother,
like purposefully giving her baby a heart defect didn't make her
enough of a martyr.
And somewhere, out there, some no-dick fucktard
sucker-of-satan's-cock MOTHERFUCKER
is probably still chortling or pulling his tiny pud,
as he gloats over murdering such a beautiful,
bright, loving, expressive, gentle, funny,
amazing baby boy cat.
He was almost like Tater in a cat suit.
And I wasn't there.
It always happens when I'm not there.
Pulling the plugs on Papa & Nannie,
throwing Smudge INTO THE TRASH,
killing Tommie,
turning Roberta into pavement,
putting that .22 bullet into Tater's
beautiful face & mind,
destroying Xena's mind and soul,
taking/hurting/killing baby Craig.
I WASN'T THERE.
I DIDN'T SAVE THEM.
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