Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Moved the inconsequential award-show bitching over here...

Had more important shit to bitch about, so here's the original post from Sunday night:

Normally, you won't catch me watching this shit...

...but Mo'Nique and Gabby were worth sitting through the WORST. TV. DIRECTION. ***EVER***. Srsly. Whomever was in that booth, I want some of what THEY were fucking smoking. Horrible, just fucking horrible. And the "Best Actress" --- REALLY??? I missed Sandra's speech b/c of shite "broadcast" (ha) TV, and nothing against her, but Gabby put more on the line. No, I don't get to go TO the movies, that's above & far beyond my means, but I can tell you more about a flick from the trailer than most critics can from repeated viewings, so shaddup. Helen Mirren & Meryl Streep ain't exactly chopped liver, either, but I'd never heard of that little waif girl in my life, so who gives a fuck.

Also, WORST. SOUND. IN. A. LIVE. BROADCAST. FUCKING ***EVER***. No applause from the fucking audience?!?!? What is this, fucking MIME?!?!??! Idiots.

And no, I don't put "personal investments" in celebrities, no matter how gifted they may or may not be, but when Mo'Nique thanked Hattie McDaniel, I fucking lost it. Cried like a little bitch. I have loved that woman all of my life, and for Mo'Nique to put it down in stone --- perfect. Gabby was robbed, though.

Yes, she's young, she's got years to get the little gold man, but it pisses me off because it makes it look like Mo'Nique didn't EARN her Oscar, it makes it look like she DID get it because of fucking "politics," especially when best film and director go to A REPUBLICUNT, PRO-WAR "WOMAN." Oh, gee, first female director to get that statue, yippeeee... Gimme a fucking break. Barbra may have played it thrilled, but she knew the difference. No, I never expected a clean sweep for "Precious," but I damned well expected more than what they got.

Yes, there are myriad other issues that I need to address, especially about the egotistical crackers from Nawth Luzeeanner who presume that they're a "terrorism target" (there's your tax money hard at works, folks, thanks to the shadow gubmint of the NHS!), but that film "Precious" has hit me hard. Big shock, I know. Go figure. And then there's TONS of news from Reproductive Health Reality Check and Right Wing Watch, too, and I *will* get to it. No promises as to when, obviously, it being ME, but the article are out there and y'all need to see them.

Oh, and Tyler motherfucking Perry --- why was one of the richest, most independent, most powerful men in show bidness acting like a GOOBER on live television?!?! It ain't like you ain't never BEEN nowhere, man! Dayum. Morgan Freeman needs to get ahold of your country ass and teach you to stop makin' Southerners look like the damned Beverly Hillbillies. And fuck yes, Mizzippi cousin** shoulda won, too. Suck on it.

I'm happy for Rene' that the little Austrian dude won, but there were some Americans in there who earned it, too, so neener-neener boo boo. Lastly, fuck whatever MORON put together the "memoriam" section together, 'cause Y'ALL FUCKED THE WHOLE FUCKING THING UP, YOU IDIOTIC TWATS. You don't short PATRICK FUCKING SWAYZE, YOU BITCHES, and then make a point of worshiping at the altar of the fucking child-molester.

Shutting up now, gotta get back to packing, still haven't found a place to live, and NEITHER PLACE IN NEW ORLEANS HAS ACTUALLY MAILED ME AN APPLICATION OR RETURNED A FUCKING PHONE CALL, so there might be some... discrepancies... in the near future. If y'all get a collect call from O.P.P.*, it's me, and I need bail money. But fuck, while I'm down there, I might as well rent a woodchipper and remedy some other longstanding issues... like the piece of shit responsible for our Jada's fate... Hey, if I go to jail, motherfuckers, it will be WORTH IT.

And thanks to the Academy for reminding me of everything that I fucking HATED about the nepotism-orgy known as "film." Talk about "who you know or who you blow," that is the epitome of it. Wonder who held the gun to Clooney's head to get him in the front row...

*Orleans Parish Prison, not "Other People's Pussy/Prick," thankyewverymuch.
**If you kin to ANYBODY in Mizzippi, you kin to ALLLLL of Mizzippi.

1 comment:

kaiyn said...

They did actually have Swayze in there, but they completely left out Farrah. Asshats.