Mourning Our Heroines

Yes, the primary race is over. This isn't about that. This is looking at our so-called American/Murkin "culture" and wondering where in the fuck did it all GO?!?!?!?!

Eleanor Roosevelt. Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Susan B. Anthony. Miss Lillian Carter. Molly Ivins. Ann Richards.

Where are our women who are willing to sacrifice the "imperative" to breed, to nest, to become owned through legal contract and cult ritual, to become earthbound to the triviality that marketers raise to "achievement"? Where are our women who think about the WORLD instead of just compiling their own resumes? Where are the women who will bust their asses to GET IT DONE, rather than climb over the not-yet-cold bodies of those who went before to grasp that fucking brass ring?

Hillary was no Eleanor. Hillary was for Hillary. But dammit, it wasn't about HER. It was about US. Yes, we are OWED, but more than we are owed, we have fucking EARNED IT, despite what the scum who bring us "Drunk Girls Who Hate Daddy And Flash Their Tits" videos would have the world believe about us.
We have fucking EARNED IT, because we are more than just "the power behind the throne." We deserved better than Hillary, because she sold-out feminism a long fucking time ago. She allowed knuckle-dragging child-fucking SCUM like Fatfuck Limbaugh to add "feminazi" to the lexicon with nary a protest or even the reams and libraries of proof to the contrary. She lost her optimistic cherry over the gang-bang they gave her over socialized healthcare (like every other fucking CIVILIZED nation has had for DECADES), and that's when she stopped giving a fuck about anybody but Hillary. I've never denied any of that, but dammit, I wanted to believe that the REAL Hillary, that optimistic little rich girl who went to Wellesley & thought that she could change the world for the better --- that given the chance, that feminist (though still too removed from the nitty-gritty reality, she had seen more of the world of poverty than Barry has attempted, even now) would arise from the ashes like a Phoenix.

And time after time, chance after chance, she marketed towards the middle of the road and only the women her age and older still believed that she was thinking of US as she cozied-up to her military-industrial-complex sugar daddies. Not quite as disappointing as her Mona Lisa smirking silence during that cum-stained-blue-dress anarchy (and I do NOT mean "anarchy" in a good way) that led us to the current Big Brother state of outright fucking FASCISM in which we live today. We thought that J. Edgar's invasions of Eleanor Roosevelt's bedroom were too much, yet we barely flinch when lesser worms than he do it to US.

Where are our women? Not just online, there are so many educated, down & dirty, outright indignant, fierce women warriors out here, they're not hard to find. But where are they in public service? Donna Brazile ought to be running for office (I'd give both of my gravitationally-challenged tits if she'd knock Piyush "Bobby" Jindal out of the gubner's mansion!), but there's too much money to be made in the "private sector." Margaret Atwood should be running the U.N., but she wants to stay private and keep writing, neither of which can I fault her for, considering what she's accomplished thus far. But we need another of her to get out there and start busting some fucking HEADS.

Barbara Boxer is still kicking ass, but you can tell that the "leadership" (DINO piglets like Dean) of the DNC have her on a leash, she can only kick so much ass, and only certain asses, never the ones who NEED IT. Diane Feinstein... well, she's still there. We all know how quickly Pelosi strapped-on those diamond-studded kneepads, she needs to swing from the same gallows as Cheney.

I'd never make it, we all know that my skeletons are WAY outta the closet, and most of 'em are still kicking (can't afford the woodchipper ALL of the time), so don't even joke about it. I do what I can, as I try to wrangle more brain cells back from the edge of that Lyrica black hole that's been killing what little brain I had left for the past nine months of pure joy (NOT). We have so many wonderful women here, but they've all got day jobs. Where will we recruit our next generation of ass-kicking women who will NOT apologize for even "seeming" FEMINIST?

We have two whole generations of women who still believe that it's more important to be "hot" than it is to be TRUE. That the approval of random men (or the right guy with the right income) is more important than anything that THEY might achieve, or how they can use their talents to help others. They believe that breeding is their highest calling, just as Ike would've had it. Rosie The Riveter, domesticated, tranquilized/prozac'ked to the point of obedient apathy, out of the work force and into the "homemaker" industry. No paycheck or retirement plan, but oh! The self esteem to be garnered from popping out a unit every nine months and pleasing that mayunn! I swear, it makes the fucking SEVENTIES look MORE ADVANCED than who we are today. I do not envy, nor do I begrudge the intelligent women who did procreate but STILL GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE REST OF THE WORLD. It's the ones who think that it's an EITHER-OR PROPOSITION. They go to college to marry the right frat boy, they get date-raped on rufies but assume that it's "just part of doing business." They take domestic abuse because it's more impressive to be married than to stand on their own two feet. Even if they don't sell their souls to legal documentation/enjoindering, they'll take a "male" (true men, REAL men, WANT an EQUAL woman, they're not THREATENED by a real woman) who treats them like shit, because then they can say, "Well at least I have a mayunn!"

Jerry Springer's wet dream, with Maury Povich's paternity tests. No tests to see if any of these kids will ever have real parents, but it's all about the syndication profits, right?

Where are our Eleanor Roosevelts? Where are our next Rosalyn Carters? Will all of the next women leaders only come from money, from privileged opportunities, from private/elite education? Will republicunt ass-lickers like Rachael Ray mold the minds of our teenaged girls who aren't out flashing their cooches to aspire to Paris Hilton's uselessness? Where are our liberal female powerhouses? Where are the Norma Raes? Where is our next Molly Ivins?

Will the cults continue to turn back the clock on feminism the way that Newt Gingrich & Joe Lieberman republicunts have done? Will the mythological P.R. of that uber-breeder-marketer "Mother" Theresa continue to overshadow the REAL good done by people like Pearl S. Buck and Eleanor Roosevelt and Elisabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony? Why are all of our heroes HEroes? Still haven't gotten to see Ironman, but I wanna see IRON WOMAN. I want to see ISIS come back, not Wonder Woman, 'cause hot as she was in those go-go boots, she was STILL too fuckings subservient to me. Charlie's Angels with better costumes and less jiggle.

Where are our Bette Davises and our Tallulah Bankheads and our Vivien Leighs? Are we condemned to anorexic little submissives until they skip pretending to have a plot altogether and reduce every movie to "She's All That," 'cause of course, no woman no girl is ANYTHING until a MAN makes her into WHAT HE WANTS HER TO BE. The Pentagon tries to sell us that makeover myth, that a woman can blow up or build up anything that the men can, but then they put her in the fucking kitchen to cut a tendon on a giant can of sweet potatoes. They promise kids, with a G.E.D. and no job market --- the world, and they give you SHIT in exchange for your very fucking life.

This is rambling, and I'd originally envisioned it as something poetic, a dirge, a good cathartic cry for the loss of women the likes of which I fear that we will never see again. But I just can't stop being SO FUCKING PISSED OFF, that THESE are the "pop culture" heroines that we're sold, that J.K. Rowling is the richest woman on earth but only, what? NINETEENTH MOST "POWERFUL"?!??! Gee, did Trump write the fucking list? Oprah has done a lot, but she could do so much more than pat yuppie breeders on the back and tell them what to BUY BUY BUY next. She has the best forum on the planet, and 90% of her content is superficial crap.

2008, and a woman's life in America is still worth nothing. Nothing more than whether she was white, married, breeder --- when a rich white woman goes missing, they never once mention WHO SHE WAS or WHAT SHE DID or ACCOMPLISHED, she is only important because SHE BELONGED TO OTHER PEOPLE AND SHE SPAT OUT A UNIT EVERY NINE MONTHS. Her mind, her soul, her conscience, those are nice little "human interest" footnotes, but what matters is that she BRED. That is her true value, what comes out of her cunt, and who comes into it.

And no white woman's life will ever truly be of value so long as her life is supposed to be more "important" to the thousands of black, brown, yellow, red, any other color on the planet --- until THEIR lives are front-page news, CNN blockbuster two-hour "investigations" (Nancy Grace is an evil vulture bigot whore should swing right after Pelosi) --- remember that little Cabrini Green girl who was beaten, gang-raped, set afire and she LIVED, the same fucking day that Jean-Benet disappeared? I remember her, and I've yet to hear another word about her after that fourth small, back-of-the-A-section paragraph. I bet that they never caught a single one of the motherfuckers, 'cause what's a mutilated, permanently BROKEN black child compared to a RICH WHITE MORMON BEAUTY CONTESTANT who as PIMPED OUT BY HER OWN PARENTS?!?!?! Until the lives of every poor woman, every undereducated woman, every underemployed woman, every unfulfilled woman, every woman who is "anonymous" and forgotten day by day --- until THEIR lives finally fucking MATTER, then no, I will not give a fuck about any single rich white woman whose corpse that Nancy Grace fucks on national TV. I do not matter, the cops have proven that to me, time and again. My life can be threatened, nearly ended, stolen, all by three different scumbags, and three different scumbag pigs NEVER GAVE A FUCK. Y'know why?

Not married. No kids. Not rich. No job. Useless. My cunt has only been used for abuse and pointless recreation, not pointless overcreation, therefore I have no worth, because no man has ever CLAIMED my cunt. Well, one tried, but then he tried to beat me to death, so his penis lost its cachet with that one-two punch. I'm nothing to any man with any "authority" because I do not belong to a DESIRED DEMOGRAPHIC. I don't spend over a thousand a month on food, clothes, trinkets, toys, diapers, furniture, therefore I don't count to any fucking body. Follow the money, honey, for it leads you to all truth, or, rather, who controls what is broadcast AS the truth.

Rupert Murdoch's mother must not have been very nice to him, or he has a very small mind and a very small penis, 'cause few people have tried as hard as he has to destroy women and everything that we've fought for over the past 300 years. Australia, until the most recent batshit P.M., has ALWAYS had more highly-evolved laws about women's rights and protection under the law, and yet they're being manipulated by the same shriveled old prostate-on-a-stick who's destroyed journalism, truth, habeas corpus and REALITY in THIS country.

Men, real men, men who GET IT, who are secure in themselves and KNOW themselves, the ones who truly LOVE and RESPECT women, have nothing to fear. Least not from me. But where are they when it comes to the pigs? When will they join arms with us and stand the neanderthals down again? Yes, our men HERE, they fight the good fight, but there are so many MORE good men out there, who treasure women, who KNOW that we are important, not because any man agrees that we are, but because of who we are and what we can give to the world and to ourselves. Where are all of these good men as idiots like Joe whatsisface turn underage girls with alcohol poisoning and no spines into MEAT?!!?!? Every single douchebag who buys those videos can NOT be a republicunt living in Thailand as a permanent "sexual tourist."

WE dropped the ball. WE let Bill get away with the ULTIMATE disrespect for ALL women, aided and abetted in said destruction by a conniving hatchet-faced whore and her idiotic pawn. WE let Hillary get away with being the submissive "political wife," standing by her mayunnn, as the republicunts appropriated everything we'd earned and PISSED IT ALL AWAY. WE let Hillary get away with playing the "centrist" and leaving all of US out in the rain. And for what? What in the fuck have we, or does she, have to show for it? Squat.

Barry had damned well better bring his A-game. He'd better start paying attention to the women who didn't believe that he's a feminist. He'd DAMNED well better do more than roll up his sleeves and take off his tie to "relate" to the working poor and the just damned-well FUCKED poor. He'd better do us women proud, and let us know that us angry old bitches, us die-hard FEMINISTS, still fucking MATTER. Hillary told us that, but did she deliver on it? Ummm... not so much.

We WANT to believe. But we're not drinking the kool-aid. We won't gaze upon his wonderment with dewy eyes of teenaged girls at the first Beatles concert. We won't reach out to touch the hem of his garment, and we won't kiss the fucking ring. He has to stand tall and look us in the eye and PROVE that WOMEN MATTER, that the past 28 years of backsliding into the 13th Century ARE GOING TO FUCKING END, AND NOW.

We may find new heroines, wherever they are. In googling my own name, I've found a neurosurgeon in Scotland and a physicist in England, and I wish to all hell that I could meet them and tell them how much I admire them for being the better version of me, as odd as it is to have so many Angl0-Saxons/Celts with a Scottish surname and a Hebrew first name.

But maybe the endgame of our mourning the loss, the lapse, the lack of an Eleanor Roosevelt, the lack of a Mae West, the lack of a Susan B. Anthony, the lack of a Janis Joplin --- is to become our own fucking heroines. To sacrifice the "Murkin dream" as the corporations and their marketing vultures have sold it to us, the breeding, the glow, the hubby, the suburbs, to see it all for what it really is --- a fucking TRAP --- and to get back to doing what we should've been doing instead of falling for John Hughes movies and dreaming of back when Judd Nelson was still cute and MAYBE we could SOMEDAY be "good enough" for some man like him. The ascetic life isn't for everyone, we know this, I don't expect anybody else to "retire" like I have, but dammit, take a little time, every day, to think about what you can do for your sisters. To look at what's fucked-up about this country and CHANGE IT. Or at least bitch about it until somebody fucking REALIZES THAT WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY ACTUALLY FUCKING MATTERS.

Stop letting the Fatfuck Limbaughs and the no-longer-funny Stern and the advertising scum and the pharmaceutical companies and the Wally World billionaires and the sweatshop clothing sales assholes who are now SIZING THE CLOTHES TO FIT THOSE SWEATSHOP CHILDREN (Self-image sickness on Aisle 10, Self-Loathing is buy one, get one free!) --- STOP LETTING THESE MOTHERFUCKERS DEFINE US. We've got to take the language back. We've got to focus on the things that REALLY FUCKING MATTER. Women/Womyn, not so much. ENDING SEXUAL SLAVERY ALL OVER THE WORLD, yeah. Using breast implants to get a raise? Nuh-uh. STOPPING THE GENOCIDES IN AFRICA? Litttttle more urgent.

Be who YOU want to be, stop trying to fit the girly molds that our mothers or our fathers (or sperm donors) or our schoolmates or whomever told us we had to fit into. Do what YOU were put on this earth to accomplish, and make that matter, make it MEAN SOMETHING to the rest of the world, use it to HELP women whom nobody else will help, or even knows exist. Hillary, I stopped mourning back in '98. But for fuck's sake, don't y'all DARE let a single Hillary supporter go BIGOTED SENILE REPUBLICUNT just to spite Barry The Prom King. No trivia, just the big shit. THAT'S where we get our heroines, dammit. And maybe Donna Brazile on the fucking CABINET.

I can feel a rant a'comin', comin' 'round the bend, how long it's been comin', been comin' since don't know when...

As the past 9 months of Lyrica dosage have been a CHEMICAL LOBOTOMY and I have not written anything of any value, passion or consequence in all of that time, it's been driving me even CRAZIER than I am on a normal basis.

I'm almost finished with the cold-turkey detox from hell (wouldn't wish this shit on anybody but Darth Cheney!!!), and I can start to feel some oxygen getting back to whatever few brain cells I've got left, so I know that it's coming. The same way that I can feel changes in the air pressure that herald a hurricane, even when it's still a little uppity storm down in the Caribbean, I can feel this one coming, and it's gonna be the muthaload. Don't know what it'll be about, whether it'll be about the Barry kool-aid drinkers, or the many ways in which Hillary has ALWAYS disappointed, or how John Edwards broke my heart in a million different fucking ways, that slimey ambulance-chasing bastid.

Maybe it'll just be about how poor patients, Medicare & Medicaid & charity no-pay patients, are (and have been for over a century) treated as fucking GUINEA PIGS by the pharmaceutical industry and their best little bitches, the doctors who shill that shit for them. Most of y'all know my long and horrific history with Charity Hospital, city clinics in NOLA (which, far as I know, STILL haven't been reopened!), and the motherfuckers who are getting WAY fucking overpaid to work in the private/corporate medical industry. That's what's at the front of my brain right now, it just needs to decompress and not get the bends from all of this sudden influx of oxygen. I had a closed-head injury in 1986 that SHOULD have killed me, seeing as how it took out most of my left brain and the skills sets contained therein, and shaved a good 30 points of my IQ, so every fucking thing that endangers the 50 or 60 remaining FUNCTIONAL brain cells that I've got left. And years on and off of narcotic painkillers sure as HELL ain't helpin' on that ladder. When I'm cremated, I want y'all to smoke my ashes, 'cause there will be an ASSLOAD of opiate residue in there, still as strong and cemented to those synapses as ever. Just wish that I could've gotten a few more acid trips in first, though. I miss that shit and need a crainial douche like all hell. Haven't even SEEN any good shit since 1998, and can't even get the cheap college-kid blotter nowadays.

Not trying to write a suicide note or anything, we all know that I *always* fuck that shit up, and it is NOT worth the additional brain damage, nor the incipient incarceration. But after the fuck-over of all time by Lying Sociopath Mercinary BITCH Niece in February, my sarcoidosis came back for the first time in 10 years. No, it won't be merciful enough to kill me this time, either, I'm sure. The skin abnormalities, uprisings, feeling like I've been exfoliated by fiberglas insulation, the headaches, insomnia (added to the mental hell/insomnia/manic episodes due to the fucking LYRICA), the bloody lungs, the gut issues --- yup, allllll back with a fucking vengeance.

So sue me if I get a little narcissistic. That's the lovely thing about autoimmune syndromes --- they affect more women than men, so of COURSE it's one of those "histrionic wimmenfolks" issues, where the GPs pat you on the head and tell you that it's all in your head. And y'know the number-one inciter for sarcoidosis (and prolly Lupus, too)? STRESS. Thanks, oh greedy little psycho-whore "niece" who is now disowned and who had removed me from great-nephew Dameon's life indefinitely. Hope that you got your fucking rocks off on it. And yes, I'm going to try to find a rheumatologist this time, to see if they've gotten anything beyond fucking prednisone or chemo drugs. Soon as I can get the truck fixed-up enough to make it to Baton Rouge (I am fed the fuck UP with these hillbilly hacks, almost as much as I am with the carpetbagging yuppie-scum who've taken over the entire medical industry in Baton Rouge), I'm going to get a new GP and a rheumatologist to try and beat this shit before it reduced me to a bed-incarcerated lump of useless.

THIS is not the rant that's coming on, this is just the preamble.

But if anybody wants to contribute to the Save-The-Pickup Fund, so that I can actually GET to go find those doctors, I ain't gonna be mad atcha. I don't know how in the hell I'd have survived these past 5 hellacious years of pure torment without y'all, for damned sure. But love, affection, and undying support don't mean bupkis to a hoopty ol' pickup truck who needs WAY too much man-hours of labor to get TO the damned intake manifold gasket. Yes, I'm shaking the tin cup again. Don't generally get a lot of responses these days, except for my ever-faithful Redcane, and when Andy can, not to mention all of the great new women who have come into my life, from CCMcGoon to Mirele to others whose nics I don't know, so I don't want to sacrifice their privacy, when I hope that they already know how much I appreciate their love an generosity.

Okay, shutting up now. Eagerly awaiting CCMcGoon's next great installment from the TexDemCon!

Don't Think I Won't...

run right up to the stage as a speaker is stepping off and make him stop to pose for a picture. That is what I just did in the above picture. This is David Van Os and he is running for Party Chair, hoping to beat out incumbent Boyd Ritchie. I like Ritchie, but I fell in love with Van Os' loud-and-proud ways in 2006 and am now rooting for him. The voting for Chair is about to take place. It will involve simple math, so it should only take a few HOURS.

Clusterfuck '08 Update 3

They showed Clinton's speech live in the convention a few minutes earlier. Well, part of it anyway. They lost the feed several times and by the last time, they just gave up. Clinton and Obama supporters were chanting and yelling the whole way through it like she was here personally.

I mentioned yesterday that I, along with the other alternates, were told to turn around during the vote to fill the delegate spots so that we couldn't see who voted for/against us. I was a bit miffed because it was so goddamned juvenile, but I found out later that it was also against the party rules. There isn't supposed to be any secret voting at all. Even written ballots are supposed to be signed by the delegate. I mean, hell, we all got here by caucus voting, which wasn't even close to secret. Anyways, if I had known about that rule beforehand I would've said something, but as it was I just huffed and puffed a little.

That wasn't the only fuck up in SD31 though. They stayed until after midnight last night finishing their voting and now it was announced that they have to re-caucus this afternoon. Spacedark talks about that a little more here.

I was also told that they upgraded an alternate to a delegate spot that was already taken, causing all kinds of hell.

I would belong to the only senate district in the convention that can't get its shit together. I'm going to head out now and see if I can find the caucus. I have a feeling I'll want to witness this one.

A Couple of Pics

I couldn't come to Austin without visiting the capitol building. I love that it's pink. Below that is a pic of the Cedar Door, where the Blogger's Caucus was held. It's a good thing I took that pic early, cause I was a bit too tipsy to pull it off by the end of the night.

Other Blogs Covering the Texas Convention

Here are a few of the other bloggers covering the convention. None of this would have been possible without Vince from Capitol Annex, who worked tirelessly to get us the press passes and also set up the Blogger's Caucus, which was once again a bad ass party.

I'm sitting next to Marc from Marc's Miscellany right now. He also liveblogged the last convention.

A couple of bloggers from Panhandle Truth Squad are also here.

More:

Easter Lemming Liberal News

jobsanger

McBlogger

Off the Kuff

Bay Area Houston

boadicea

There are too many I'm leaving out, and not on purpose, but it'll take forever to link to them all. A better round-up of bloggers can be found here. If you get a chance and want some different views on what is happening, give the above blogs a visit.


(If you're new here, this is our storage space. You can find the main page to Mark of the Beast here.)

Chelsea Clinton Visits the Texas Convention

Okay, so it's kinda dark, but it was the best I could do. Believe it or not, there were about 200 people between me and the stage. It was tough to even breathe in such a tightly packed crowd.

Chelsea didn't speak long, but every word she said was listened to like gospel in the convention center. She is definitely loved among Democrats. She also stayed on stage for a good 5-10 minutes after the speech to shake as many hands as possible.

Clusterfuck '08 Update 2

I was on my way to my senate district caucus when I found myself among several hundred Obama and Clinton supporters trying to out-chant each other. You ever been to a high school football game when the cheerleaders from the opposing teams face each other on the track and try to one-up each other with cheers? Yeah, think about that on a mass level and you'll have an idea of what I got stuck in.

I'll never get how people can be that excited about anyone. I lost my ability to have high hopes for any politicians loooooong ago.

When the senate district caucus started, it was time to fill in the absent delegate spots with alternates. There were 4 alternates and 2 spots to be filled, so they has us line up so the delegates could vote on us. In a move that absolutely fucking blew my mind, they made us turn around so we couldn't see how they voted. How fucking juvenile is that? Are they afraid that we're going to go postal on anyone who doesn't vote for us? Trust me, guys, we can handle it. We've been potty trained for years now.

Anyways, I didn't get one of the spots, but one of the ladies came up to me afterwards and told me that I just missed it. That's funny, as the other guy probably just missed as well, but I appreciated her for trying. Can't tell you what the numbers were though, 'cause they obviously didn't trust us with such sensitive information.

Rick Noriega

Rick Noriega, running for U.S. Senate, answering questions during the press conference. Near the end of it, we were treated with "Test. Test, One, Two" and a practice session of "The Star Spangled Banner" from the speakers in the press room. It turns out that we get to hear everything said on the microphone in the auditorium loud and clear.

Clusterfuck '08 Update

I was strolling through the booths looking for anything worth buying when I heard a guy to my right ask me if I want a sticker. Why the hell not, I thought, offering my finger for him to stick it on. When I looked my little gift, I was met with "Pro-Life Democrats". I looked up at the asshole who would hand me such a thing and, smiling, he said "People have the impression that all Democrats are pro-choice, but we're going to change that. We pro-life Democrats do exist."

Well, motherfuck. I certainly could have lived without knowing that. There's nothing like coming to a convention in hopes of finally being surrounded by like-minded people only to find out that some are so proud of their hatred for woman that they'll use it as a conversation starter. I was not impressed.

I just made my way back to the press room to post this and was met by a blogger from central Texas who said that when he tried to go to to a caucus nearby and was told that there were no more seats available. If he wanted to stay, he'd have to stand. This was the Democrats with Disablilities caucus by the way.

Well, I'm heading back to the crowds now. I'll try to post again soon with more Texas Democratic happenings. See ya in a bit.