Just Another Day In Fucktardia

Two days, L'Hotel du Fucktards & teh surrounding environs of Fucktardia (West Redneckistan Parish) have been under semi-siege, as there's YET ANOTHER escaped inmate from a private subcontractor's enterprise RENTING OUT SLAVE LABOR TO COMMERCIAL ENTERPRISE. Gee, what could POSSIBLY go wrong with THAT?!?!?? Guy's got a 13-year rap sheet, but they're bullshitting us all into supposedly believing that he's a "non-violent offender." Yeah, and I'm a virginal anorexic supermodel.

Anybody who watches PBS knows that this entire area (both Feliciana Parishes + North EBR) is PRISON ENTERPRISES CENTRAL. Angola didn't get that rep by accident. Where once were flourishing slave-labor plantations, are now slave-labor prisons & "facilities" for the insane, criminally and otherwise. And the rednecks around here couldn't GET their little dicks any harder tonight, knowing that their FAVORITE KIND OF HUNTING SEASON is afoot. When they won't even release WHICH PRISON THE DUDE ESCAPED FROM, you KNOW somebody fucked-up BIG-TIME. Oh, and don't believe the NBC-affiliate link in the title. They confiscated his cellphone the day BEFORE yesterday, when he was finalizing his PLANS for the escape (it's never a one-man operation, kids, just ask Steve McQueen), they fucking KNEW that he was headed for the fence, and YET, the fucking morons LEFT HIM IN THAT LOW-SECURITY HOUSING FACILITY --- IN A RESIDENTIAL NEIGHBORHOOD (but of course a lower-income BLACK neighborhood, so who cares, right?) --- TO GO BACK OUT ON THE JOB THE NEXT FUCKING DAY AFTER THEY SEIZED THE CELLPHONE.

Can you say, "DUH?!?!?!?!" I knew that you could.

Yeah, the guy is a convict. Duh. He didn't get there by eating ice cream @ a baptist dinner-on-the-grounds. What is amusing is watching teh republicunt media of Baton Rouge helping COVER THE ASSES OF THE THIEVING, LYING, KLAN-MOTHERFUCKER ALCOHOLICS WHO THINK THEMSELVES THE PRIME "MASSAHS" OF THEIR ENTIRE GOOBER DOMAIN. Well, not so much "amusing" as it is INFURIATINGLY INCESSANT. They make a killing off of the backs of the inmates, and then they have to piss the STATE'S money away CATCHING THE INMATES THAT THEIR DUMBASSED RELATIVES COULDN'T KEEP IN CUSTODY. Ah, nepotism, where would Louisiana be without it... oh, right. Maybe the 21st Century.

One of the drama queens here @ L'Hotel du Fucktards called teh po-po's and told 'em that she'd seen "a man" run into & out of L'Hotel. Seven deputies in seven patrol units, four prison guards in blue fatigues, three town Barney Fifes, and a partridge in a pear tree, all piled-up into L'Hotel du Fucktards parking lot and driveway, whilst I'm trying to take 2 very unhappy tomcats back to their home out in the boonies.

The funniest part, to me, of the TOTAL BULLSHIT SMOKESCREEN, is that the dude is FROM NEW ORLEANS, and yet they're lying their fat asses off, swearing that HE'S HEADING NORTH.

Right.

That motherfucker was across the river before dark on Thursday and is probably deep in the Gretna projects by now, but these jerkoffs are standing around with their thumbs up their asses, like that's ACCOMPLISHING ANYTHING, and when the BR news vans show up, OH! Suddenly Angola guards blossom like mushrooms in bullshit, minus the bloodhounds and the tracking team. Yeah, THAT accomplishes a lot. Long as they get that Angola logo onto teh teevee, all teh white middle-class folk will feel safe & secure in their cul-de-sacs, and the bi-annual rodeo won't lose a dime. Riiiiiiiight.

Normally, I don't give a rat's ass about the inmate escapes (average 1 every 2 months, but this is two in TEN DAYS), but this circle-jerk of a clusterfuck (shaddup , I can mangle my metaphors if I wanna) is not only an egregious waste of YOUR tax dollars (Homeland Security paid for BOTH of the helicopters that Dep'ty Dawg, aka Teh Grand Dragon Sheriff DOESN'T ACTUALLY NEED, 'CAUSE THEY DON'T ACCOMPLISH A FUCKING THING) and of manpower, but THEY'RE NOT GETTING A FUCKING THING DONE. And yes, I'm talking about the same motherfucker who covered-up my nephew's murder. He has more money & power than every Southern stereotype you've ever seen in every crappy movie, ALL COMBINED, with Boss Hogg as the cherry on top. And the IQ of your average kumquat. But he knows how to milk the system, hence the repeated occasions that he's been BUSTED ON LIVE TELEVISION for using parolees and inmates as SLAVE LABOR AT HIS HOUSE, his mama's house, his brother-in-law's house, etc. So,y'know, he knows how to get the money, he just doesn't know how to keep from fucking it up. And he's too fucking tight to PAY somebody to cut his fucking yard.

I know a lot of people in law enforcement, in corrections, in parole/probation, and even jail and prison guards. Unfortunately, I am (at least technically) related to a couple of them. I don't begrudge them the jobs (if they're the ones who actually DO the jobs), but I do begrudge the FUCK out of a state where POOR PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO STARVE AND DIE OF CANCER VIA EXXON-MOBIL, WITH NO PUBLIC HEALTH SYSTEM WHATSOFUCKINGEVER, whilst a bunch of SWAT-wannabe testosterone junkies who don't even have G.E.D.s, ride around in humvees, pretending to be paramilitary, and THEY AIN'T GETTING THE FUCKING JOB DONE, but they make a HELLUVA SHOW OF IT!!!!!!

When it comes to the multiple serial killers we've had SINCE THE DESTRUCTION OF FEMINISM IN THIS COUNTRY (yes, there IS a fucking corollary), including the serial killer(s) that are currently operating in SW LA (well, between Whisky Bay & Lake Charles, so kinda South-Central) they are NOT making the Capitol City news whatsofuckingever. Oh, wait, that's riiiiiight, they're not JUST RICH WHITE SUBURBANITE BREEDERS, therefore they don't count. This one's mixing it up. Gillis only did hookers, so nobody really gave a fuck about him, but Derrick Todd Lee, they pinned EVERY unsolved female murder of the past 20 fucking years on him, SO THAT THEY WOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THE FUCKING WORK, when, even though he's a wife-stomping, woman-hating, mutilating rapist ANIMAL, he ain't bright enough to have done them ALL. Zachary P.D. should've had his peeping-tom, attempted-rapist, wife-beating ass in jail TWENTY FUCKING YEARS AGO, but they couldn't be BOTHERED to DO THEIR FUCKING JOB, EITHER. That's why you had so many women hacked-up like roadkill by that sick, evil, piece-of-shit motherfucker. BECAUSE THE COPS DIDN'T DO THEIR FUCKING JOBS IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE. Period. Ask anybody from the Felicianas, Baton Rouge or the Florida Parishes. ALL of the cops knew about Derrick. But it was only hurting WOMEN, so who gives a fuck? OH, WAIT! Now he's doing RICH WHITE WOMEN!!! EEEEEKKK!!!!!! WE CAN MAKE A FUCKING ***FORTUNE*** IN ADDITIONAL STATE & FEDERAL FUNDING TO HUNT *THIS* MOTHERFUCKER DOWN, ***NOW*** IT MATTERS!!!!!!!

In other words, just like the Murdoch Media Model, crime only matters when the suspect/escaped convict is a "big scary black man" and the victims are RICH/UPPER-MIDDLE-CLASS CAUCASIAN SUBURBANITES. I bet that the redneck republicunts who fled up here before & after Katrina never even THOUGHT about the circumference of prisons that ring both of these parishes, when they saw how cheap the acreage was, did they... dumbasses.

They LET this shit happen. The money was appropriated, like five years ago, to build Dep'ty Dawg a new, bigger prison, since the parish is losing its ASS on housing pre-trial prisoners ALL OVER THE FUCKING STATE, but somehow, it never happened. Gee, wonder why... And I'll bet y'all a dollar to a doughnut that THIS shit is the frontal wave of the next PRO-GUN, PRO-KLAN, PRO-PRISON-INDUSTRY wave of tax votes, constitutional bullshit, etc. Just wait. Piyush will be on this shit like, well, like a republicunt on coffers full of other people's money.

Have I mentioned how much I fucking loathe this place? Did I already do that bit? These ignorant redneck republicunts are getting skeerier and skeerier, every fucking day. They're VERY fucking pissed about the next president ("how DARE that colored boy think that he can be PRESIDENT, I don't give a rat's ass WHO voted for him!!!"), they're stocking-up on guns & ammo again, and they're damned and determined to start a race war, even if they have to pay somebody else to do it, the pussies.

What really pisses me off is that this USED TO BE a really cool, funky, unique, quirky little Southern town, where everybody was just themselves, and nobody tried to shoehorn jeebus down your fucking throat, and everybody GOT ALONG. No racial tension, just PEOPLE. No sexism, no hairy-knuckled neanderthals, no THREATENING WOMEN, just PEOPLE. Now it's a fucking PLANTATION OF PRISONERS and teh LILY-WHITE WUSSIES WHO WANK TO THE IDEA OF LARGE, MUSCULAR BLACK MEN IN CHAINS.

Rene' may hate it when I'm right, but let's face it: As unattractive as it is, MY GUT IS NEVER WRONG. 'Member all of those Halliburton secret prisons, in backwater bumfucks across the country? They ain't gonna stay empty for long.