Friday, May 8, 2009

Dear Northern Tool & Equipment: U SUCK. May teh wrath of Basement Cat strike y'all ALL down!!!


Elaine from Cat Haven e-mailed me this the other day, and I was worried that it might be an "urban myth" fwd, so I wrote to Northern Tool FIRST, to see what they had to say. Following are the original mail-out and my letter to NT&E, as well as the form letter that I got back. Sent: Monday, May 04, 2009 5:05 PM
Subject: please cross and write- post- this is horrible

This morning on my drive into work I heard something on Houston
radio that I could not believe.
Northern Tool is running an advertisement in which a man is complaining about a cat sitting on a fence tormenting his dog. He is advised to use his Northern Tool nail gun to remedy the problem.
In the advertisement you hear the sound of the nail gun being fired
then you hear the cat scream.
Please let Northern Tool know that this is not acceptable and that
they are promoting animal cruelty.

This is a link to email Northern Tool:
http://www.northerntool.com/contactus/

Northern Tool + Equipment
2800 Southcross Drive West
Burnsville, Minnesota 55306
Phone: 1-800-221-0516

My Letter to NT&E:

I'm trying to find out if this e-mail I got about your advertisement that advocates SHOOTING CATS WITH A HYDRAULIC NAIL-GUN is true or not. I've been on your catalog mailing list for a couple of years now, and if it is true, I would like to be removed. And then I'm going to pitch a major bitch about this commercial. So, does Northern Tool make jokes about killing/mutilating animals with power tools?

(then I copied the fwded e-mail)
What say you?

This is what I got back from Northern Tool & Equipment:

Hello,

Thank you for your feedback. The ad that you heard is part of a nationwide campaign for which we have received a few comments from some concerned parties.* We are sorry if this ad has offended you and our intention of the ad was not to advocate violence toward animals and we have received, both positive and negative on this ad. At this point, Northern Tool has removed the spot from airing on the radio. As of Wednesday, this spot should not be airing. Thanks again for your comments.

Bev
Northern Tool + Equipment
Ecommerce customer contact
customercare1@northerntool

*Emphasis mine.

Now, is it just me, or does it sound like Northern Tool & Equipment, who, up until this point, I had considered half-way decent people (I've been on their catalog mailing list for years, even though I haven't been able to afford power tools in YEARS, I still like to window-shop!) --- anyway, does it sound to y'all that Northern Tool needs to MAYBE MAKE A SIGNIFICANT DONATION TO MORE THAN ONE ANIMAL CHARITY??? Hmmm? I mean, that is how these things run nowadays, right? A celebrity or corporation takes a very public DUMP on someone/animals/group of people/the law, they get a slap on the wrist from "the law," and then they donate to a charity of THEIR choosing, and then everybody "forgets" about it? Right, Kobe? Right, Michael Vick? Right, Mel insane-freak Gibson?

If it was ME deciding how they should get out of this public-relations CLUSTERFUCK, I'd highly recommend a write-in campaign to get them to donate an ASSLOAD of money to Cat Haven, the ASPCA, BestFriends, and the New Orleans SPCA. Seems fair, right? They're going to treat cats (as do all of the redneck fucktards around here @ Hillbilly HellHole) LIKE VERMIN, then they ought to do more than a half-assed, back-handed form-letter so-called "apology," right?

I'd also like to know, who in the flying RAT-FUCK gave them "POSITIVE FEEDBACK" about this fucking commercial, other than the JUVENILE THUG-WANNABE FRAT-BOY DOUCHEBAG ADVERTISING ASSHOLES who "wrote" this bullshit in the FIRST FUCKING PLACE.

4 comments:

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

The letter I just sent NT&E:

Re: Shooting Cats With Hydraulic/Pneumatic Nailguns.

Aside from the truncated form-letter in response to my earlier query about your WORLD'S WORST ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN, what do y'all intend to do, in order to make it up to the millions of cats out there who face cruelty, neanderthalic behavior from so-called "humans," torture, starvation, disease, etc., because irresponsible jerks won't get THEIR cats fixed, oh, and the brilliantly-minded high-school boys who will BLOW CATS UP WITH FIREWORKS, every time that they can? Might want to make some charitable donations to try and smooth this over. CatHaven.org is my favorite animal-rescue organization, though BestFriends.org & the ASPCA are great, too.

You can pull the spot off of the air, but we will not forget the attitudes of the people who AUTHORIZED that ad. I don't know where y'all purchased my name & "consumer profile" from, but I somehow wound-up on the NT&E mailing list 3 or 4 years ago. I had always assumed that you were all somewhat decent human beings, but after this advertising blunder, which is undoubtedly garnering NT&E plenty of free publicity for the sheer "shock factor," I am re-thinking my opinion of your company and whether I will EVER want to do business with y'all.

(THEY don't know that I'm broke and won't have power tools until I hit the Powerball!)

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

Well, if I don't get an answer (BEYOND A FUCKING FORM LETTER) from this last letter, I'm going to e-mail them the link to these posts, and let them know that PEOPLE ALL OVER THE FUCKING WORLD HAVE BEEN READING THIS STORY. Not to mention that most of those people know of my rescue work with ferals & stray cats, so it shows that I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M TALKING ABOUT. And, y'know, I'm one "crazy cat lady" with whom THEY SHOULD NOT BE FUCKING. They really shouldn't make me angry. They wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

Unknown said...

Really people. I love my cats and dogs, but don't you have anything better to do with your time? It's retarded to make any kind of a deal about this. It was a joke, and if you don't like it, turn the channel.

The world is so worried about semantics, political correctness, and preventing offensive stuff from being published. This petty shit is the beginning of the end of our country, and our constitutional rights as they were originally intended.

Get a life. Pull your head out of your ass. How about you worry about what is really important like the 5,000 troops that have died now in a war without continuity, resolve, direction, or strategy. Why not take your precious time and write to your congressmen about that instead of northern tools.

-From a soldier, and american with a sense of humor, and disgust for PC'ng everything.

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