Thursday, October 30, 2008

Letter to my soon-to-be-EX-OB-GYN:

Dear Arrogant Racist Class-Warfare Anti-Birth-Control Midget Bitch:

For three fucking years, I have asked you, over and over again, have left phone messages that were never returned, every fucking opportunity, I have asked your narcissistic midget ass HOW TO GET MEDICARE TO PAY FOR AN EARLY MAMMOGRAM, because I've got a "family" history of breast cancer (Teh Dick's sister got it) and yes, BECAUSE I SMOKE. But every visit, every fucking pap smear, every breast exam, YOU IGNORE MY QUESTION, OVER AND FUCKING OVER AGAIN.

ALL THAT YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IS NAGGING ME ABOUT FUCKING SMOKING, WHEN THAT'S NOT EVEN YOUR FUCKING ***DEPARTMENT***, instead of dealing with my concerns about BREAST CANCER and, oh, y'know, WANTING TO BE STERILIZED.

Instead, you tell me that I "can't" have a partial hysterectomy, BECAUSE YOU THINK THAT YOUR JOB IS TO MAKE EVERYBODY ON THE FUCKING PLANET BREED BREED BREEEEEDDD, and that MY DECISION ***NOT*** TO BREED MEANS ***NOTHING***, 'CAUSE YOUR ***JEEBUS*** WILL OVERRIDE MY OWN LOGIC AND MY OWN MIND and that eventually, I'll "want" to spawn.

Guess what, Gidget?

NOT. GONNA. FUCKING. HAPPEN.

And as soon as I can afford the gas money to go find one, I'm going to find a REAL doctor, who ANSWERS MY FUCKING QUESTIONS and who DOES HER FUCKING ***JOB***, instead of trying to shove her JEEBUS CULT BULLSHIT DOWN MY THROAT.

You have PURPOSEFULLY DEPRIVED ME OF MEDICAL CARE TO WHICH I HAVE BEEN LEGALLY ENTITLED FOR ***THREE MOTHERFUCKING YEARS***, and for that, not only should you LOSE YOUR FUCKING LICENSE TO PRACTICE, you should lose your tits, your cunt, and everything that you think entitles you to be called a "WOMAN." You are no friend to other women, you DENY US MEDICAL CARE, you deny us TRUTH, you deny us our FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS. You don't deserve to BE a woman. And you sure as hell don't deserve to take money from Medicaid & Medicare for care that you DO NOT FUCKING PROVIDE.

If I hadn't spent a lovely 45 minutes on the phone with a very pleasant young man named Marlin this evening, I wouldn't even KNOW that you've been PURPOSEFULLY DEPRIVING ME OF MEDICAL CARE THAT MEDICARE ***WANTS*** ME TO HAVE. Preventative medicine is a helluva lot cheaper than SURGERY AND CHEMOTHERAPY.

Same goes for the midget idiot at the physical therapist's next door, who's been depriving me of physical therapy (traction for the 2 herniated discs in my neck, so that I don't HAVE to have massive surgery AGAIN) FOR THREE FUCKING WEEKS OF STRAIGHT PAIN --- for NO FUCKING REASON, because SHE DOESN'T KNOW HER ASS FROM A HOLE IN THE GROUND ABOUT HOW MEDICARE BILLING IS DONE.

If y'all see anything about a bloodbath up here (in Zachary or St. Francisville) on the news tomorrow, now y'all know why. Sure, that kinda makes it premeditated, but so was their PURPOSEFULLY DEPRIVING ME OF THE MEDICAL CARE TO WHICH I AM LEGALLY ENTITLED, so payback, as they say, is a MOTHERFUCKER.

2 comments:

mirele said...

That's some serious righteous indignation there, Annti.

As for the mammogram, having had to go get a baseline mammo, then go back to have a "dark area" investigated (turned out to be nothing much to worry about), the whole idea of draping myself over the mammo machine again so the technician can mash my boobies into the right position for the best picture gives me the heebies.

However, getting a mammo is probably the only time that I've been happy I'm well-endowed. I can't even imagine how the hell a woman who is flat has her boobies stretched out for the pictures. Might as well just do a chest x-ray.

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

I have no idea how the itty-bitty titty committee manages a mammogram, it's gotta hurt like all hell!!!

As often as I bitch about my gravitationally-challenged saggy-baggies, I'm kinda grateful for 'em when it comes to the mammogram, 'cause at least they won't be shoving my spine into the machine from the back!

Glad to hear that yours was a false alarm, though. Even though Suzy CreamCheese blasted through her surgery & treatment with remarkable vim & vigor, I wouldn't wish the hell that she's been through on ANYBODY. I have a hard enough time having SHORT hair, can you IMAGINE what a pain in the ass I'd be BALD?!?!?!