Tuesday, December 8, 2009

FINALLY!!!

After all of these years of being THE first to lend a hand, to leap-in with both feet EVERY time that help is needed, Terrible has finally given me a chance to try and do something FOR HIM.

Like a lot of us, Terrible's driving a beater, and even though he does a helluva lot of the work himself, or has really good friends who help out, the Kia ain't lookin' so good. Not on the "terminal" list yet, but not far from it. And what gave ME a fuckin' heart attack is learning that he's got a broken belt in the sidewall of one of his two snow tires.

Vermont. Assloads of snow, steep drop-offs from narrow roads, ice everywhere, oh, and a teeny-tiny pimple in the sidewall of a tire can blow up and knock your ass into a fucking tree. No, I'm not even remotely exaggerating. Yes, I am a nagging yenta/professional worrier, so fucking sue me.

So here's the pitch: FUNDRAISER FOR TERRIBLE!!!!!! (< We can't be having our Terrible flying off the side of a fucking mountain or into a gawdlessdamned tree or stranded on the side of some ass-end-of-East-Fuckin'-Jeebus road in a fuckin' blizzard. I wish I could properly install a PayPal button in a fucking post, but I never *have* mastered that particular skill, for some fucking reason. Yeah, I know. Ironic. Huh huh huh. A semi-professional beggar who can't even do it right. Smoooooth. Well, when I hit the fucking powerball, none of us will need fundraisers anymore, and I can hire somebody to finally teach me how to do PayPal buttons PROPERLY, to pound it into my oft-dented skull with a 10-pound maul, so that it STAYS THERE. But then, we will only have to do fundraisers for good charities, like the ones who don't demand that children SHOW PROOF OF CITIZENSHIP in order to receive xmas toys. Don't get me started, I'll go all off-track, well, even worse than I have already.

Y'all all know & love Terrible, and he has never asked any of us for ANYTHING, he just gives and he gives and he gives. I've got about an ACRE of mosquito-netting, instant-stove chemical cookers, smart-assed MREs (ha ha fuckin' ha, Ted.), all KINDS of shit to prepare me for any kind of natural or Halliburton-made disaster (and yes, I went out and spent a WAD on hurricane supplies this year, and FOR WHAT?!?!?!?! Too late to return any of it, I can promise y'all THAT shit.) --- and the books! Terrible used to have a bookstore, and he is STILL de-stashing. Videos, oh and holy SHIT, that Vermont Smoke & Cure summer sausage!!!!! He got me thoroughly ADDICTED to that small-batch, family-farm-made stuff. In other words, Terrible is the cool older brother that I was SUPPOSED to have, who always watches out for me and makes damned sure that I never go hungry. If I had it, I'd send him a fortune my damned self, but y'all know me: doomed to perpetual brokeness. So that's why I'm asking Y'ALL. If anybody "deserves" a little help (or severe acreage and a huge wad of cash), its our Terrible, by damn. Yes, other people in the world have it hard, and it's charitable-contribution-demand time, they're ALL out in force, and they've all gone into the red this year, I know, I know, I know.

But this is something that y'all can do for one person whom you KNOW will keep doing good in the world, who will never stop busting his ass to improve his little patch of the planet, and who genuinely needs your help to stay independent and self-sufficient. And no, that's not an oxymoron. And yes, we all know that EVERYBODY has it hard this year and will for the next couple of years, I don't give a shit WHAT the media tells ya to get you back into the shopping malls. That should tell y'all how serious this is, that Terrible would let me ask y'all for help, and how very much he and I will both appreciate any and all help that y'all can share.

Thank y'all, once again, for listening to me blather, and without even throwing rotten fruit or eggs.

Monday, December 7, 2009

The "RAFFLES MIA/APB DISAPPEARED!!!" Post

To preserve the original post, I've moved it here, because it was so damned long and I am so damned tired and my tailbone is trying to murder me, from sitting upright for all these long-assed fucking hours (at least four of them were devoted exclusively to finding Raffles!). The "Mission Accomplished" is at the main blog.

Many thanks to Terrible, all of the wunnerful women who work for the VA in New Hampshah, and a SAINT named Cindy who got Raffles ON THE PHONE for me!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, December 07, 2009

MIA/APB: RAFFLES HAS BEEN DISAPPEARED!!!

RenB's dad, affectionately known as "Raffles," aka Richard Bodkin of Manchester, New Hampshire, has gone missing. He's a 93-year-old veteran, who fell & fractured (though not a complete break, thankfully) his pelvis/hip right after thanksgiving, out raking leaves, and had surgery at Elliot Hospital in Manchester.

He then went to his other son's house (names will be listed if we don't find him soon) to "recover," and was then to start physical therapy, in-patient or out-patient, through the V.A. Why on earth Medicare didn't send him to his own home with a daily "visitation nurse" to take care of him in his own home, in his own bed, I have no fucking idea. The wicked-witch daughter-in-law kept pushing the "NURSING HOME!!!" meme on him, which Raffles fucking HATED, she kept upsetting Raffles at every opportunity, and then would get on the phone with RenB and start fights with HIM, as if HIS nerves weren't already fucked ENOUGH. Blaming HIM for being in Austria, claiming that he wanted his own father to "die," psycho-cunt/socipathic shit like that. And then, as of December 2nd, "NOBODY" in the Bodkin clan "knows" where Raffles "is."

I shit y'all not. Not only has his other offspring and his wedded tumor done everything possible to emotionally alienate Raffles from RenB, now they have PHYSICALLY and LITERALLY DEPRIVED HIM OF HIS FATHER. I know, I need to google the V.A.s in N.H., I need to get off of my butt and FIND the ol' coot, but I have a hard enough time getting out of the damned bed these days. Much has fallen by the wayside, bills go unpaid, etc. But I can NOT forget about Raffles. I am NOT going to lose another friend this year, dammit. And Ren does NOT need to lose his only father, by any means or manipulation by third parties.

So if anybody up thataway knows anything about V.A. hospitals & nursing homes, please enlighten me, because it's almost been five days, and neither Ren nor I have any idea of where he is, and none of his "family" will tell him ANYTHING about the care/health/location of HIS OWN DAMNED FATHER. Raffles is one of the good ones, dammit, and I intend to do whatever I can to keep his ornery ol' ass on this planet as long as humanly possible. Well, not so much "ornery" as "smartassed," but y'all get the drift. Ren's been in Austria for 30+ years, seen his dad 3 or 4 times, but has been e-mailing and/or calling him on a regular basis all along. There were rough patches, Ren's fucktarded bigot "relatives" constantly bombard him and Raffles with homophobic bullshit, but Raffles knows what's important --- that Ren is his son, and that he loves him. Even though he still has to deal with the waste-of-oxygen types, Raffles sticks up for himself. That's where Ren gets that temper from, y'know. And that ornery/stubborn streak a mile fuckin' wide.

Yes, it IS most likely that Raffles is fine, though infinitely pissed-off, having been stuck into a damned nursing home, which he HATES (who doesn't?!?!), but until RenB or I hear something concrete, we're gonna keep rattling the shutters and banging on the doors. What kind of assholes CUT A MAN OFF FROM HIS 93-YEAR-OLD FATHER?!?!?!?! He's damned lucky to be alive at this point, YOU DO NOT GAMBLE WITH THE TIME THAT HE HAS LEFT ON THIS EARTH. And you sure as hell don't piss it away, playing psychotic little manipulation-games, just to hurt his own SON.

If the aforementioned skank-in-law, or his jellyfish of a "brother," doesn't get in touch with Ren, to let him know where Raffles is currently incarcerated (have YOU ever seen a nursing home that wasn't like jail?!?!? Much less one run by the state or fed???), I'm gonna call the fucking state troopers. Five days is a long damned time to NOT KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON, when you're talking about a wounded 93-year-old. No, he didn't lose bone marrow; he hasn't, as far as we know, been afflicted with hospital-borne pneumonia, which kills so many of the elderly; for all we know, he could be up and walking and bitching as we speak.

BUT WE DON'T KNOW, DO WE.

I wish that I had a picture of Raffles to post, but RenB can't find one on his current computer, as they were all on his ol' puter, "Lazarus," which means that they are effectively down the memory hole. How I've been friends with them both for all of these years and never seen a picture of Raffles, I have no idea. But we all know how senile I am. Compared to Raffles, *I* should prolly be in a nursing home, 'cause he's sharper than the proverbial tack and hasn't had a "foggy" day in his life. Certain people might have others BELIEVE that he's "slipping," that he "needs" to be in supervised-care prisons, um, "nursing homes," but HE DOESN'T NEED THAT SHIT. Medicare and the V.A. can send actual REGISTERED Nurses, not LPNs or "nurse-practitioners" who think that they're "DOCTORS," REAL nurses --- right to his home. They were the only real medical care that my Nannie got when the F.U. & her Dick condemned her to death by colon cancer, but somehow, nobody ever intervened or questioned that "medical power of attorney."

Sorry, flashbacks. I can't stand losing people, especially old people that I love. Not overly thrilled when I lose the young ones, either, whether by death or simply their desire to walk out of my life, but life is so fragile after you pass a certain age, no matter how tough the nonagenarian is --- you worry. You worry a LOT. And you miss the hell out of them. I don't want to jinx Raffles by talking about death, but this skeers the shit outta me like when Al Hill died --- I didn't find out for a WEEK after I talked to him in the hospital, and only found out that he'd died BY GOOGLING HIM. When the in-laws are outlaws like what Raffles has, you AUTOMATICALLY suspect the fuckers, especially when they make sure that the ENTIRE FUCKING "FAMILY" SHUTS-OUT THE ONE PERSON WHO LOVES HIM MOST.

Sound familiar? For those of y'all who were around after my Nannie died, you remember how the Fallen Uterus cut me off from all of my nieces & nephews, because she was trying to INVALIDATE Nannie's hand-written will and rob me fucking blind. Most of them, I never have truly gotten those relationships back. And this is what these manipulations smell like to me. And I'm not above publishing home phone numbers if Raffles doesn't surface and soon, either. What are they gonna do, SUE ME? HA! Talk about a waste of lawyer bills... I *know* that they don't want my hoopty old truck or two obese and crotchety cats, and that's all that I've got. A woman with nothing left to lose is a very dangerous individual, indeed. I've been censored by every gaggle of clique-brained breeders, cult freaks, "society" cunts, misogynist swine, inbred redneck mouth-breather "teachers"/"principals," lowlife "bosses," thieving "relatives," and Tammy Faye Bakker look-alike food stamp bitches known to humankind. SKEER ME.
~~~~~~
Elsewhere: Birfday update --- that young whippersnapper Hermes, of Hermes' Journeys, turns all of THIRTY on the 18th of this month, so send him your best wishes and as many wrinkles as possible. Looks like a fucking TEENAGER at the ripe old age of 29. Yeah, THAT'S fair. Right. He'd damned well better drink some tequila for me, is all I'm sayin'.

Labels: , , , , , , ,

posted by Anntichrist S. Coulter at 2:34 AM

Monday, September 7, 2009

Hurricane, Economic Depression & other survival tips

In other words, when you're broke, your friends are broke, and you might very well be without electricity and/or communications utilities for more than a week, much less fresh food, YOU CAN SURVIVE.

I know, 'cause I've done it. I've gone months without a phone, I've sold plasma & everything I own to keep the electricity turned on, and even that didn't last, and I've survived hurricanes all of my life. Granted, I wasn't there to survive Katrina, so I don't know what it's like to survive the WORST hurricanes, but I've gathered a few useful tips here and there that might help, if you find yourself homeless, without utilities, without income, without fresh food, living on ancient canned goods and questionable perishables.

First of all, all expiration dates are not created equal. I can make a loaf of bread (white or wheat or multigrain) last over a month in the fridge. Bagels can be saved INDEFINITELY in the freezer and for at least four weeks in the fridge. Milk is a task that you take unto yourself. First you sniff it, then taste a small bit, so that you won't barf. But yes, even milk lasts longer than they tell you it does, unless you've got a terribly disreputable grocer. And yes, you do tend to get your money's worth (or food stamps' worth) more often on American-made/canned/processed food, although I am no fan or friend of Con-Agra or Monsanto. True, I do patronize those bloody French Nestle' bastids in the Lean Cuisine aisle, who ONLY USE SEAFOOD FROM THE UBER-POLLUTED SOUTH CHINA SEA, but only when absolutely necessary. And there are canned goods that can be eaten cold. You won't like them, but you can get used to anything. I recommend starting on the canned fruit, then working your way out from there. Processed, gloppy pastas like ravioli, spaghetti-o's, etc. well, they're NOT recommended cold, but they are already cooked, so you won't get food poisoning from eating them without heating them.

If you ARE in a hurricane or other natural/man-made disaster, and YOUR neighborhood is last on the list to have power restored (i.e., YOU DON'T LIVE IN THE COUNTRY CLUB OF LOUISIANA), here are some things that you should hoard, should the National Guard be activated and sent to your area with MREs. Those chemical heat packs? INVALUABLE!!! Not only are they good for the MRE meals (only 1/3 of which are actually palatable/edible, sadly), but you can use them with canned meals/veggies/oatmeal/etc. Instant Oatmeal is one of your best staples, as they last damned near forever, long as you don't get weevils. And all you need is a little bit of hot water, some margarine (another "perishable" that can survive a week or more in an unpowered fridge) and sugar (I like cinnamon & nutmeg, m'self). And you can eat it for 3 meals a day, if you have to. Granola bars are a great item to stock-up on, as you'll get calcium, fiber, some protein, and energy-producing carbs (as long as you're active enough to keep those carbs from becoming sugar; if you're a sloth like me, take cinnamon capsules every day, as THEY do the metabolizing work FOR YOU.) --- also, rolled oats/granola/nuts are VERY filling and can help you stretch your food supply longer than you'd think. Laugh now, but STOCK UP ON NUTS WHILE YOU'RE LAUGHING. Fresh, roasted, glazed, whatever floats your boat (raw/fresh & roasted last the longest & attract the fewest ants), GET YOUR NUTS NOW. Pecans, walnuts, whatever's cheapest/the best value in your area. NUTS CAN SAVE YOUR LIFE. Make all your testicle jokes now, chirren. Ranty Aunty Annti will be over here, checking her supply of dried fruit.

If you're lucky enough to have a food bank within reach and to qualify for it, as inferior to Jif as it is, HANG ONTO THAT GENERIC PEANUT BUTTER. When the shit hits the fan, or a blizzard hits your neighborhood, you'll be glad for that protein, and it won't make you fart as much as living on tofu and beans to keep from losing muscle mass. Speaking of blizzards --- those chemical heaters that come with the MREs? AWESOME for warming up the foot of the bed if you've lost your heat, but YOU HAVE TO WATCH THEM THE ENTIRE TIME. They DO get hot enough to set fire to the bedclothes, especially if you have any synthetic fabrics on the bed. EVERYTHING can be reused, so don't be so quick to throw away ANYTHING. I'm not saying that we should hoard EVERYTHING like my great-aunt Thelma and other children of the First Depression, but don't waste things that you CAN re-use, like plastic packaging, aluminum foil, waterproof MRE matches, those little salt packets (I hate black pepper, but I've always got cayenne close by, so no worries there), and as many cheap/generic/Dollar Tree candles as you can afford. I've got pictures that I'll post at another time, because I still haven't edited the gigantic bastards down to a usable size, of what I've gotten to prepare for this hurricane season. After what Gustav did to me, and what I did to myself because of Gustav, I won't EVER be caught short again.

Most importantly, ICE CHEST. Keep one handy. Rubbermaid or cheaper knock-off storage containers that you can fit into your freezer can turn your freezer (I have one of those old-timey up-top freezers, which means I have to get on my fucking KNEES to get anything out of the fucking fridge!) INTO AN EXTRA ICE CHEST, as long as you keep an eye on the melting/overflowing water (no point in killing the freezer ITSELF) -to-ice ratio. I lost over $100 worth of meat, fish, and chicken during Gustav, having saved it as long as I could in the ice chests, and do you think that FEMA gave me A DIME for that or the microwave THAT ENTERGY AND DEMCO BLEW UP?!?!?! Fuck no. Their surges, as we went eight-plus days without electricity, destroyed the control panel of my 2-year-old microwave, so that now it only cooks on HIGH. NO RENTER WILL EVER GET A FUCKING ***DIME*** FROM FEMA, KNOW THAT NOW. If you're a HOMEOWNER, you MIGHT get SOME help, but if you have dozens of trees destroyed by hurricane-spawned tornadoes or just regular tornadoes, don't hold your breath on those little PRIVATIZED/SUBCONTRACTED FEMA PRICKS GIVING A FUCK ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOUR UTILITY BILL JUST DOUBLED BECAUSE YOU LOST ALL OF YOUR SHADE COVER. Make sure that your homeowner's insurance covers the loss of old trees that were there before you were, because you can't "replace" a hundred-year-old tree, but you can damned well RE-PLANT, if they don't fuck you the way that FEMA does.

So, if you're a renter like me, in a ghetto-assed white-trash ripoff joint that constantly STEALS from their own tenants AND the federal government (but the "district" USDA "official" DOESN'T ALLOW YOU TO FILE COMPLAINTS OR GET IN TOUCH WITH THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT WHATSOFUCKINGEVER, NOR DOES THE WEBSITE), be prepared to lose your ass on uncooked/frozen/fresh food. And no, that TWELVE PERCENT "boost" IN OUR MONTHLY FOOD STAMPS DID ***NOT*** FUCKING REPLACE WHAT I LOST, PIYUSH.

All you can do is cook your best stuff first (hope that you have a grill, 'cause the idea of a "communal grill" amongst your neighbors will just get your ass ripped-off), and then live on dry goods and canned goods and MREs until the electricity comes back. If you have friends or relatives with generators, take your best frozen/refrigerated food TO THEIR HOUSES FIRST. You'll THINK that you can save your own stuff, but you can't. As I said earlier, milk lasts longer than you think, as long as you only open the fridge WHEN YOU ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY HAVE TO OPEN IT. Most of your condiments will be a loss, except catsup/ketchup and Hershey's syrup. Kiss that homemade muscadine jelly goodbye.

So in the early weeks of hurricane or tornado or flood or blizzard or whatever season affects your area, cut back on the luxuries. Condiments, fresh veggies that need refrigeration, bruisable fresh fruit, expensive meat/fish/poultry, or anything else that you can't afford to replace right away. Stock-up on canned tomatoes, tomato sauce, soup, canned veggies & fruits, oatmeal, cereal & other ready-to-go dry goods, granola, energy bars, junk food (chocolate can be a lifesaver during the depression of a blackout), potato chips or other salty craving-killers, fruit bars, cookies, ANY AND EVERYTHING THAT DOESN'T REQUIRE COOKING, because even with those MRE heat-packs, YOU WON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO GET YOU THROUGH THREE HOT MEALS A DAY. So plan your meals. You can get three or four hours on one of those little six-packs of cheese-crackers with peanut butter. Don't overload on the sugar, it'll just make you more tired than you already are, from climbing those fucking stairs. Don't do what I did during Gustav, either, and just skip eating altogether, because you're out of pain meds & muscle relaxers and are in too much pain to eat. YOU NEED THE ENERGY, if only to defend your store of food from the other neanderthals.

Make sure that you get at least one serving of PROTEIN every day, whether it's meat, peanut butter, beans, tofu, whatever. You can stretch carbs and veggies a LONG damned way, and canned peaches make one helluva dessert when you need one. And in case nobody's figured this out yet, A HAND-CRANKED CAN OPENER oughta go without saying, but I've actually met people WHO NEVER USED A MANUAL CAN-OPENER IN THEIR LIVES, so you never know.

Flashlights, batteries, but most importantly, CANDLES, CANDLES, CANDLES. Not just to light your apartment, but also to help you get around the building because the idiots across the hall won't open their doors and HELP CREATE VENTILATION CROSS-FLOW. And your apartment will start to stink, no matter how many times a day you go through the ice chests and throw away what was just recently PERFECTLY GOOD FOOD. The lack of air flow will MAKE YOUR SHIT STINK. So get a couple of vanilla or otherwise-scented candles in with those dozens of UTILITY candles. I highly recommend Wally World and Dolllar Tree on that score. ALSO, the big camping brand-names will charge you an arm and a leg for battery-operated small lanterns (non-kerosene, 'CAUSE WHO WANTS TO DIE OF CARBON MONOXIDE POISONING FROM USING KEROSENE INDOORS?!?!??!), BUT --- and I hate to endorse the evil Arkies and their Chinese massahs --- Wally World sells these GREAT little LED lanterns that run on AA batteries FOR FIVE BUCKS. I sure as hell got ME one. AND it's magnetic on the bottom, so you can mount or hang it damned near anywhere. They're about six inches tall, and right on the periphery of the sporting-goods department, next to those expensive-assed Coleman lanterns, and put off JUST AS MUCH LIGHT as the overpriced brand names.

Another thing you will need, and if it hadn't been for Terrible, I'd never have had --- and this goes for THE WHOLE U. S. OF A. --- MOSQUITO NETTING. Seriously. Whether it's an unnatural flood in the Ohio River Valley, a hurricane or homelessness, GET YOUR ASS COVERED IN MOSQUITO NETTING. Not just enough to fit over YOUR body, but enough to fit OVER A DOUBLE-SIZED CANOPY BED. Trust Annti on this one. Next hurricane, THIS bitch will NEVER get malaria or West Nile. All thanks to Terrible and his buds at the Army-Navy surplus. I slept, for eight days, with my head hanging out of this third-floor window, just HOPING for a fucking BREEZE. What little sleep I *did* get, anyway. Why? 'Cause even though I'd propped my door open and secured my privacy with hanging fabric, NONE OF THE MORONS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HALL WOULD BE SO SMART OR SO GOOD AS TO OPEN A SINGLE ONE OF THEIR DOORS SO THAT ANYBODY ON THIS FLOOR COULD GET CROSS-VENTILATION.

Normally, I sleep with the a/c pumping @ 62 degrees F in order for me to lay down and BREATHE. Because of the sarcoidosis and almost 39 years on Cancer Alley, if I do lie back, much like the Elephant Man, I suffocate. My lungs fill up with fluid and I drown all fucking night long, hocking-up lung cookies and other attractive effluents. So, since my oft-fucked spine won't allow me to sleep propped-up like John Merrick, I have to freeze-out in order to breathe. Now, that in mind, imagine what 8 days of Louisiana HEAT, humidity, and HURRICANE was like, every mosquito-filled night. With none of my usual painkillers or muscle relaxers, eighty BILLION muscle spasms per minute, two REALLY discomfited and PISSED-OFF CATS, and, here's the topper --- NO FUCKING SLEEPING PILLS. And of course, my ever-so-considerate neighbors looked upon this blackout as an excuse to GET DRUNK AND STAY LOUD, 24 FUCKING SEVEN. The fact that I did *ANYTHING* for these cockbites is purely a product of frustration, injustice, rage at the laziness/racism/idiocy of the "powers-that-be" and the fat little polyester piggies that they hire to keep us po' folks FROM ROBBING THE RICH MOTHERFUCKERS LIKE ALL HELL. Oh, and severe drug withdrawal/levels of pain that BONE CANCER PATIENTS CAN'T BEAT. So I was, thankfully, quite literally, out of my fucking mind the entire time, and at times, blissfully out of my body.

ALLLLL of that bleating martyrdom to say this: I FUCKING HATE MOSQUITOES, BUT THEY FUCKING ***LOVE*** ME. I burned some generic little mosquito-coil bug-shoo-away thingies, but they didn't do shit. Y'know what DID help, as I hocked and rasped and wheezed through my 8 lovely nights here in L'Hotel des Fouquetards?

INCENSE.

I shit you not. Thanks to an old friend, Neal, who never DID get up the cajones to post @ MOB, but maybe one day... *sigh* --- anyway, Neal stocked me up with SOOOOO much fucking incense, in almost every flavor of the rainbow, especially my favorites (nag champa, cedar, sandalwood, and anything else wood/NATURAL floral-based, not that "black love" shit you get at the convenience stores, or the old-women-in-church-perfume-scented shit that Wally World calls "lavendar"), and it was the INCENSE that kept those bloodthirsty little fuckers OFF OF ME AND OUT OF MY WINDOWS. Yes, I did buy more and better (brand-name) mosquito coils for this year's hurricane kit, but more than anything else, I RELY UPON THE INCENSE. You *will* get sick of the smell of mosquito coils, and the incense does SO much to soothe the nerves. If Neal hadn't hooked me up with the best incense stash this side of a Cheech & Chong movie, I'da been SCREWWWWWED, mosquito-bite-wise.

Next post will, hopefully, be more organized, in terms of a shopping list, using stuff-for-other-purposes ideas, and how long shit REALLY lasts, as opposed to what retailers tell y'all. And pictures. In the meantime, I hope that some of this late-night blathering has been helpful to someone. Oh, and if you have phone power, even without hot water and electricity, HAVING FRIENDS WHO'LL LISTEN TO YOU BITCH ABOUT IT REALLY, REALLY FUCKING HELPS. If it hadn't been for CC McGoon, Tammy & Dan, and other non-MOB buds, I'DA LOST WHAT LITTLE I HAD LEFT OF MY FUCKIN' MIND. Yes, I read a LOT of books during Gustav, but one can only read SO MUCH for SO MANY hours of the day. So thank y'all all again, for all of that. Oh, and for those of y'all with cordless phones? During a hurricane or other disaster, YOU'LL BE FUCKED. Even cell phones aren't guaranteed, and how ya gonna charge 'em? GET A FUCKING LAND LINE THAT CAN'T BE EAVESDROPPED-UPON BY THE ROAMING PIGLETS WITH POLICE SCANNERS.

If anybody has any questions about any of these tips, or suggestions for more, please feel free to comment here or over at the M.O.B. link, k? Hang in there, it ain't over yet.

Most important two survival rules?


1. ALWAYS CARRY A MAG-LITE. Even if it's just a Mini-Mag (for which it is damned near IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND A REPLACEMENT BULB, I MIGHT ADD!!!), KEEP IT ON YOU AT ALL TIMES DURING ANY EMERGENCY SITUATION, I DON'T CARE *HOW* HEAVY THAT FUCKER IS. It's still easier than carrying a lantern and a baseball bat. But the longer/heavier the Mag-Lite, the more effective it is. Sure, lots of people make fairly decent flashlights, but only a Mag-Lite is a Mag-Lite. I also recommend Dollar-Tree booklights, if you can FIND the fucking things anymore, because those little LED fuckers are great for reading AND for traversing the hazardous, unlit stairwells of L'Hotel des Fouquetards. Last year's died, and I haven't found another one yet, but I've got my Mag-Lite. The book light can clamp onto anything, though, so you have a free hand to carry whatever else you gotta carry.

2. ALWAYS ALWAYS ***ALWAYS*** CARRY A TRUSTY BLADE. Even if someone "disappears" your trusty shock-proof folding hunting knife that was just on this side of the legal blade-length limit, with a serrated AND smooth blade (and I've torn this fucking apartment APART looking for that fucker, and IT AIN'T HERE, and I fucking LOVED that knife!!!) --- even if you lose your best blade to a kleptomaniac relative, KEEP **SOME** KIND OF BLADE ON YOU, AT ALL TIMES, NOT JUST DURING EMERGENCIES. Even if it's a 99-cent plastic-sheath/body "keychain" serrated knife from the survival/surplus store, KEEP THAT FUCKER ON YOU AT ALL TIMES. I'm not advocating the bullshit/schizophrenic "race war" idiocy that CERTAIN REDNECKS WHO DON'T NEED TO BE NAMED keep CLAIMING will happen as they stockpile ammo & canned goods (all 'cause Obama got elected, dontcha know), I'm just saying that PEOPLE GET STUPID. Regular times, bad times, emergency times, PEOPLE DO STUPID FUCKING SHIT. And it never helps to have a little self-defense on your side.. Any coward can fire a gun, and yeah, I've heard those stupid racist jokes about "I ain't no Mexican, I don't bring a knife to a gun fight!" all of my life, but I don't give a fuck. Any chickenshit can fire a gun from a safe distance. You gotta cut somebody, IT'S NECESSARY. And it's fucking PERSONAL. It's not something you do for shits and giggles, it's fucking SERIOUS if you've got to saw through human flesh.

So don't take this shit lightly, 'cause it's not. But whether you're cutting rope to string-up a tent under your local overpass when the shit REALLY hits the fan, or tying a tarp down onto the bed of your truck, or, worst-case-scenario, defending yourself, ALWAYS HAVE A BLADE ON YOU. Period. Check your state regulations, obviously, about blade length and the definition of "carrying concealed" (yes, it varies, state to state), but a blade is a TOOL, first and foremost, and a weapon ONLY AS A LAST RESORT.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Don't tell me that they don't know where we live...

This is the letter that I just sent the Fucking Communications Clusterfuck (FCC) about how after 5.5 days of "digital transmissions," I'VE LOST ALL OF MY FUCKING TELEVISION SIGNALS ALTOGETHER.

Happened NOT that long after I posted my last M.O.B. rant, including a few choice words for Michael Powell et al., including Lowry Mays, Rupert Murdoch, and the rest of those corporate whores. Think that there's no connection? Feel free to speculate. Enjoy the letter, and I can't WAIT to see if it gets bounced by a fucking LANGUAGE BOT.

TO: consumersupport@dtv2009.gov

"1. When I received my two coupons, I tried to redeem them and purchase DTV adapter boxes for 2 televisions (AT $15-40 ABOVE THE "$40" PRICE LISTED BY YOUR WEBSITES & PROMOS), but the closest Wal-Mart never had the boxes, or only had ONE when I had the money to waste ON the damned boxes.

2. When the conversion was announced (after Michael Powell had left office with very full pockets from Sony/Viacom, Panasonic, Disney/ABC, Universal/NBC & all cable providers), WE WERE TOLD THAT OUR ORIGINAL RABBIT-EAR ANTENNAS WOULD BE FULLY FUNCTIONAL WITH THE NEW (cheaper to broadcast, as if they don't make ENOUGH money off of overvalued advertising revenue) DIGITAL SIGNAL. After 5 days of receivng 2/3 of the stations that I could pick up via analog broadcast, I LOST THE SIGNAL ENTIRELY. FOR EVERY CHANNEL IN MY ENTIRE VIEWING RANGE. Before this crap, I could get (in Louisiana) Channels 9, 19, 21, 27, 33, 44 & 50. AFTER the digital screw-over, I could receive 2 (then IT went away and I could only get Channel 3 from Alexandria, the OTHER ABC/Disney affiliate), 9, 27, 33, 44 & 50. Then as of 11P last night, I can no longer receive ANY SIGNALS, FROM ANY STATIONS, ANYWHERE. I spent a good half-hour to forty-five minutes on the phone with one of your (no-bid) subcontractors, a very nice young lady, who walked me through the exact same process as I'd used to set this joke box up in the FIRST place, except that she took one extra step, of cutting-off the power-supply (surge protector) to the TV, VCR/DVD, and adapter box. And guess what? BUPKIS. Great way to spend tax money, geniuses @ the FCC. Makes me glad that I don't work in radio anymore, 'cause I'd be ashamed to carry my FCC license on me.

3. Now I'm supposed to call an 800# for some carpetbagging strangers, from who knows where, to come into my house (where I live happily single), when I've never met these people before in my life, nor do I have any way to contact their supervisors if they screw the situation up even WORSE, as they obviously don't have a local office or headquarters, just an 800# call center that's probably in the Phillipines or Mumbai. Greaaaaat. Well, at least the (no-bid) subcontractors who handled YOUR 800# were IN THIS COUNTRY, or at least she SOUNDED like she was in this country. And they'll go through the exact steps that I went through myself, as well as when I went through them with the nice young lady on the phone, and will probably get the EXACT SAME RESULTS AS I DID, as apart from giving me a new antenna for free (as if!), THERE'S NOTHING DIFFERENT THAT THEY CAN POSSIBLY DO. Again, BRILLIANT way to spend tax money. I know that the current FCC administration didn't create this clusterfuck, the crooked-as-hell republicunts did, but y'all are still stuck CLEANING UP THEIR MESS, as is the rest of the country. In other words, IT'S YOUR JOB NOW, SO YOU MIGHT WANNA FIGURE OUT SOME MORE-EFFICIENT WAYS OF GETTING IT DONE, THAN HIRING EIGHTY DIFFERENT LEVELS OF SUBCONTRACTORS, none of whose work offers any guarantee of consistent quality.

4. Lastly, and I really do hope that this e-mail gets passed onto someone who might actually be able to do more than DELETE it and pretend that I never sent it: NICE WAY TO FUCK OVER THE POOR PEOPLE OF THIS COUNTRY, ONE MORE DAMNED TIME. We can't afford cable or satellite, or we live in disabled/subsidized housing where we're not ALLOWED to hire satellite TV (which ought to be FREE any damned way, as WE STILL HAVE TO SIT THROUGH CRAPPY COMMERCIALS TO SEE THEIR PROGRAMMING, SO THEY OUGHT TO BE PAYING *US* FOR WATCHING THEIR SCHLOCK!!!), and rabbit-ears are all that we can afford. I bought a new pair of rabbit years LESS THAN A YEAR AGO, and now they're telling me THAT I NEED A NEW "DIGITAL" ANTENNA. Your "PSAs" about "The Big Switch " (more like The Big Bend Over The Barrel Like THE GIMP"!!!) LIED TO ALL OF US AND ***INSISTED*** THAT WE WOULD *NOT* NEED TO CHANGE OUR ANTENNAS, INDOOR OR OUT, IN ORDER TO GET ACCESS TO THE "WONDERFUL" NEW "DIGITAL" (cheaply compressed, seizure-inducing pixellation CRAP!!!) SIGNALS. Why did y'all even BOTHER TO LIE, when we MIGHT have been able to get the damned antennas when we got the stupid Chinese-made CONVERTER BOXES??!?!!??! WHY DO YOU WAIT 'TIL THE LAST DAMNED MINUTE TO TELL US THAT WE'VE GOT TO SHILL-OUT ANOTHER ***THIRTY DAMNED DOLLARS*** BECAUSE YOUR "WONDERFUL" CONVERTER BOXES ***DON'T*** ACTUALLY WORK SO DAMNED GREAT ***AFTER ALL***?!?!??!!? What's the freaking point of HAVING the converter boxes (which, btw, Radio Shack is selling at a THIRTY-DOLLAR MARK-UP ABOVE THE $40 COUPON, SO STOP GIVING *THOSE* PROFITEERING JERKS THE FREE ADVERTISING!!!) IF WE STILL GET ROBBED FOR ANOTHER THIRTY BUCKS?!?!?! ***AND WHY IN THE ***HELL*** AREN'T THERE ANY *COUPONS* AVAILABLE FOR THE NEW DAMNED "DIGITAL" ANTENNAS?!?!?!?!?! IF YOU'RE GOING TO *FORCE* THE PUBLIC, TO WHOM THE BROADCAST AIRWAVES BELONG IN THE FIRST DAMNED PLACE --- IF YOU'RE GOING TO **FORCE*** US TO LAY OUT UP TO OR MORE THAN SIXTY FUCKING DOLLARS IN ORDER TO GET ACCESS TO **OUR OWN** AIRWAVES, THEN ***YOU*** GENIUSES AND YOUR CORPORATE TV MASSAHS SHOULD HAVE TO PAY US FOR THE PRIVILEGE!!!!!! And hell yes, this applies quadruple to that corporate whore Michael Powell. I want a damned DISCOUNT on that damned "digital" antenna, and everyone else WHO REFUSES TO PAY FOR PROGRAMMING OVERRUN WITH ADVERTISING, JUST LIKE THE FREE CRAP, DESERVES TO *NOT* HAVE TO PAY FOR YOUR BAIT-AND-SWITCH SCAM TACTICS! STOP LYING TO THE AMERICAN PUBLIC AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS INTENTIONAL "HEY, LET'S SCREW THE POOR AGAIN, IT'S NOT LIKE THEY HAVE ANY *RIGHTS* OR *RECOURSE*!!!" LITTLE CIRCLE-JERK. And ADMIT, in public, that y'all LIED YOUR FACES OFF FROM THE GET-GO, about how "smoothly" and "easiliy" this transfer would go, AND about how much it's ACTUALLY GOING TO COST THE POOR PEOPLE OF THIS COUNTRY, WHO *DON'T* LIVE IN GATED COMMUNITIES OVERLOOKING GOLF COURSES, AS I'M SURE THAT THE MAJORITY OF THE PAID-OFF-BY-VIACOM MANAGEMENT OF THE FCC DOES.

Obama promised us change, and the FCC is robbing us blind. Greaaat. I know that he's got a lot of work on his desk, he "inherited" the biggest INTENTIONAL screwups perpetrated against this country since the birth of Ronald Reagan, but it'd be nice if someone brought this to his attention. We're in THE biggest economic collapse in the history of the country, INTENTIONALLY BROUGHT-ON BY THE MONEYED ELITE WHO'VE BEEN RUNNING THE JOINT SINCE THE GOT TO BILL CLINTON (who may or may not have ever actually been a Democrat), and well before, actually, going all the way back to Nazi munitions-supplier PRESCOT BUSH --- and yet our own governmental agency, the people who are supposed to be the stewards of OUR airwaves, not Viacom's, not Infinity/CBS/Sony's, not the evil and dreaded DISNEY'S --- OUR AIRWAVES, and THIS is what y'all do with that responsibility? SCREW OVER THE POOR ONE MORE TIME? Nice. $25-30 might not mean anything to y'all, but it's a big chunk of my monthly disability income, that I could otherwise spend on medicine or food, because the "governor" of Louisiana is trying to destroy Medicaid, food stamps, and public schools. He'd very much like to institute a full-bore CASTE SYSTEM here (just like in India), where the poor will die out from malnutrition, preventable diseases, and no opportunity to ever get past their high school diplomas or (he'd prefer, if you don't do parochial school) GEDs --- this is what Piyush Jindal wants to "accomplish" before he tries to run for president in 2012. And y'all just helped him screw the poor just a little bit harder. No hug, no kiss, no reacharound.

Thanks ever so.

Oh, and if you doubt anything that I've said about Louisiana under the Jindal regime, ask Donna Brazile, she knows. She may be the last honest woman (aside from the First Lady) LEFT in D.C. (well, Barbara Boxer, too, but she's got her own problems to handle right now), but Donna KNOWS. And hopefully, someday, we'll get her to come home and run Piyush out of the governor's mansion.

So what now? Will any of these e-mails be answered or fixed? Granted, I'm not holding my breath, but I'd be flabbergasted if any of us actually got any HELP out of this.

-- (A.S.C.)"

Friday, May 8, 2009

Dear Northern Tool & Equipment: U SUCK. May teh wrath of Basement Cat strike y'all ALL down!!!


Elaine from Cat Haven e-mailed me this the other day, and I was worried that it might be an "urban myth" fwd, so I wrote to Northern Tool FIRST, to see what they had to say. Following are the original mail-out and my letter to NT&E, as well as the form letter that I got back. Sent: Monday, May 04, 2009 5:05 PM
Subject: please cross and write- post- this is horrible

This morning on my drive into work I heard something on Houston
radio that I could not believe.
Northern Tool is running an advertisement in which a man is complaining about a cat sitting on a fence tormenting his dog. He is advised to use his Northern Tool nail gun to remedy the problem.
In the advertisement you hear the sound of the nail gun being fired
then you hear the cat scream.
Please let Northern Tool know that this is not acceptable and that
they are promoting animal cruelty.

This is a link to email Northern Tool:
http://www.northerntool.com/contactus/

Northern Tool + Equipment
2800 Southcross Drive West
Burnsville, Minnesota 55306
Phone: 1-800-221-0516

My Letter to NT&E:

I'm trying to find out if this e-mail I got about your advertisement that advocates SHOOTING CATS WITH A HYDRAULIC NAIL-GUN is true or not. I've been on your catalog mailing list for a couple of years now, and if it is true, I would like to be removed. And then I'm going to pitch a major bitch about this commercial. So, does Northern Tool make jokes about killing/mutilating animals with power tools?

(then I copied the fwded e-mail)
What say you?

This is what I got back from Northern Tool & Equipment:

Hello,

Thank you for your feedback. The ad that you heard is part of a nationwide campaign for which we have received a few comments from some concerned parties.* We are sorry if this ad has offended you and our intention of the ad was not to advocate violence toward animals and we have received, both positive and negative on this ad. At this point, Northern Tool has removed the spot from airing on the radio. As of Wednesday, this spot should not be airing. Thanks again for your comments.

Bev
Northern Tool + Equipment
Ecommerce customer contact
customercare1@northerntool

*Emphasis mine.

Now, is it just me, or does it sound like Northern Tool & Equipment, who, up until this point, I had considered half-way decent people (I've been on their catalog mailing list for years, even though I haven't been able to afford power tools in YEARS, I still like to window-shop!) --- anyway, does it sound to y'all that Northern Tool needs to MAYBE MAKE A SIGNIFICANT DONATION TO MORE THAN ONE ANIMAL CHARITY??? Hmmm? I mean, that is how these things run nowadays, right? A celebrity or corporation takes a very public DUMP on someone/animals/group of people/the law, they get a slap on the wrist from "the law," and then they donate to a charity of THEIR choosing, and then everybody "forgets" about it? Right, Kobe? Right, Michael Vick? Right, Mel insane-freak Gibson?

If it was ME deciding how they should get out of this public-relations CLUSTERFUCK, I'd highly recommend a write-in campaign to get them to donate an ASSLOAD of money to Cat Haven, the ASPCA, BestFriends, and the New Orleans SPCA. Seems fair, right? They're going to treat cats (as do all of the redneck fucktards around here @ Hillbilly HellHole) LIKE VERMIN, then they ought to do more than a half-assed, back-handed form-letter so-called "apology," right?

I'd also like to know, who in the flying RAT-FUCK gave them "POSITIVE FEEDBACK" about this fucking commercial, other than the JUVENILE THUG-WANNABE FRAT-BOY DOUCHEBAG ADVERTISING ASSHOLES who "wrote" this bullshit in the FIRST FUCKING PLACE.

Monday, May 4, 2009

For my friend: NOT ONE MORE, 6/3/98

NOT ONE MORE 6/3/98

6-3-98 - 4:11P

NOT ONE MORE --- 5/2/09 Update


Don't tell me,
Lady on the Rape Investigation Hotline,
that "God never sleeps,"
that "God protects us always,"--
GOD DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK.
THIS WAS NOT "MEANT TO BE."
THIS SHOULD NEVER BE.

Where was God
when a little girl,
still innocent and loving,
despite her many years of hell,
was taken by the railroad tracks,
her spirit crushed as her body was torn
by cruel hands THAT HAD NO RIGHT?

Where was God
when that sorry, useless, diseased puke
INVADED her, BEAT her, HURT her--
was God watching?
was God loving?
Did God care?
Doesn't fucking look like it.

Where was God
when a trusting soul
was turned aside
was turned to bitter,
because a trusted friend,
some two-bit loser frat-boy predator
used her trust against her
and took what was not his.

Where was God
when an innocent young flower
was crushed by drunken hands--
BUT HE COULD NOT KILL HER SPIRIT.
Where was God?
Sleeping, distracted,
or simply amused by her pain?

Where was God.

Interesting that we live in a world
Where God is supposed to be a man.
"HE" loves us. "HE" protects us.

"HE" created Man in His own Image.

Does that mean that part of God
is a rapist?
Does that mean that God condones
violence against women?

And I say, "part of God,"
because I know that not all men are rapists.
Because I know there are good men.
And I know that there are boys who will become
good men ,*
despite growing up in a nightmarish world
that would have them be anything but.

But there are also monsters.
Beasts, diseased predators, thieves of souls.
Those who are so weak that
They must destroy

Women.

And their "God" created them.


And I tell you there is no god
Because I know there is no justice.
Because when I spoke the truth
to my parents
in 1986,
their SON got their sympathy
and I got the shaft.
I was the one--in THAT family--
who was labelled, "The Crazy One."
And all of God's horses
and all of god's men
couldn't --ever--
put my innocence back together again.

And I tell you there is no god
Because I did not have the guts
to kill that short, dumpy, ugly
motherfucker in 1991
after he dismantled my face
and I blamed myself.
And there will never be any justice
Even as every time my jaw clicks & spasms with TMJ,
I flash back to him above me,
and those ugly hands
only meant for destruction.
And where was God
as I begged for mercy?

And where was God
And where was I
when they were hurt.
I'm supposed to be
the big, strong, fierce one,
caretaker to the universe--
and I was not there.
I should have been, but I wasn't.
Even though I'm just a big, soft ninny
on the inside
who's never even been in a fight**
I LOOK like the big, scary mean bitch
And that usually discourages
the predators.

And I wish I could say
that I'm buying a gun
and going hunting on the streets of New Orleans.
I AM a damn good shot.
But I won't,
because, eventually, they'd catch me,
I know.
And then the fuckers will win, again.

They win, every time I've tried to die.
They win, every time I fail.
They win, every time I cannot function in this world
where I am still forced to live alongside them.
They win, every time I cannot love
or ever know what true love is.
They win, every time we fuck to prove we still can,
because we're only hurting ourselves.
They win, because even as we scratch and claw
to reclaim ourselves, we give up more in the process.

But what I can do, is LIVE.
I cannot repair my sisters' hearts
or bodies, or minds, or souls,
But I can be there.
I cannot bring down
the wrath as I should...
But I can lift up my sisters.

And I can
speak out,
And shine the light of truth
on those quivering cockroach parasites
Every time they try to steal innocence
and prey on someone weaker, or smaller,
or more fragile.
I am not so fragile that I cannot speak.
Because every time I speak
And every time I live,
I WIN.
And those fuckers lose.

And where will God be?
Cowering behind the cherubim?
Counselling the religious-right nazis
on how to better oppress women?
"Vengeance is mine, sayeth The Lord."
Well, The Lord's been getting sloppy
And this shit just keeps happening.

So, if we want vengeance,
we'd better start picking up the slack.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*This referred to my nephew Tater, who WAS a good man, but never got to become all that he had the potential to be, because he was murdered by the drug-dealing scum that he tried to escape.

**This was, after all, written before the Crack Whore tried to kill me in my own bed on March 15, 1999, as my Nannie heard the whole thing over the phone, and died of colon cancer 14 months later, because the beast that she adopted DENIED HER MEDICAL CARE. But it was the shock, the pain, and the horror that that day inflicted upon her that got her sick in the first damned place.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

In lieu of serious blogging, continued...

...continuing from main post...

Except Wolfie never had this facial expression, even when she was fucking with my cats (and she never hurt a hair on their spoiled-rotten heads, mind you!) --- she ALWAYS smiled . How, when she had to spend 16 years being neglected by THEM (though I did my damnedest to make up for it, the five years I've been here), I have no fucking idea, but she was THE happiest goggie/wolf-hybrid hung of gorgeousness on the fucking planet. Nothing but a big, deep-furred, big-boneded, huge-pawed, wagging, panting, grinning hunk of pure unmitigated love, that girl, with gold-flecked-amber & brown eyes that also contained every natural color in the universe. When you looked into her eyes, it was like staring out into the entire universe, just breathtaking.

Sorry, it's that time of year. Bad anniversary just passed, bad anniversaries lurking around the corner, and I will ALWAYS miss this amazing creature who blessed my life for far too short a time. I also miss the ferals that I couldn't save, or the run-over cat that I couldn't save, or the ones the BAD vet overdosed 'cause she HATES ferals and poor people (i.e., NOT *MY* VET!!!), and the gorgeous and SO loving beautiful Roberta cat, who is now part of U.S. 61, b/c I placed her with the WRONNNGG people --- and all of the babies here @ L'Hotel du Fucktards that I have either fed, treated, and/or hand-raised, en route to the snip-snip; especiall my babies Smudge, Tommie, and Craig, who were all hand-raised and the 2 boys fucking LOVED ME; Tommie Two-Toes was a complete sociopath, but then, most female cats ARE. And I am hoping that Mentis, my very favorite tech genius, will be able to resurrect those pictures (from teh TNR adventures/Cat Haven neuters) when I work-up the guts to extract Ol' Bessie's hard drive. I know, I shoulda done it a MONTH ago, but I'z iz skeered. Bite me. I shouldn't be hocking-up a lung every 20 minutes, either, but I AM.

Anyway, I wanted to share this great kitteh/goggie pikshur wif y'all, 'cause it made me smile.

And if somebody will figure out a way to extract 60 lbs of infected/virulent SNOT out of my head & lungs, I will happily take out my partial and blow/eat them, even though I'm retired. Yes, it's THAT BAD. But my Rich Girl From Spain Rheumatologist SWEARS that I "don't have" sarcoid right now. Honey, you ALWAYS have teh sarcoid, it's just when you get lucky and stay in remission that WORKS, is all. I know that I bellyache about my ailments all the fucking time, probably alienate a lot of people doing that, but when you live alone, as much comfort & succor as teh kittehs give, it's not quite the same as being able to whimper a HUMAN into making you hot tea or a Toaster Strudel 'cause you can't stay upright long enough to use a toaster.


Can't let these two chirrens use the toaster anymore, anyway, they keep dropping forks down in there...

At least, that's the excuse that LandSkanky used to "explain" how HER boss's NEVER-MAINTANED, low-rent, sub-spec, sub-reg OVERRATED SLUM managed to ELECTROCUTE Ol' Bessie. Obviously, MY computer exploding has NOTHING to do with SHITTY ELECTRICAL WORK, ohhhh, noooooo... and the general contractors & drywall installers NEVER hired unqualified illegal migrant labor to work on this hellhole in the FIRST fucking place, either. RIIIIIIIGHT.

BTW, to all my cat people out there --- is it just me, or can Y'ALL never get from stove/microwave/toaster oven/fridge/wherever TO THE PLACE WHERE YOU SIT TO EAT, without the food INSTANTANEOUSLY attracting/attaching at least SIXTY CAT HAIRS?!?!?!? It can't be JUST ME, can it?

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

'Tweren't no April Fool's Day joke, kids...

CC McGoon did not lie. My trusty Toshiba Satellite DID actually blow up that night. Shitty wiring here in L'Hotel du Fucktards made the outlet go "POP/WHOOSH!" (at the same time), sparks & smoke shot out of the outlet cover, and tripped the surge-protector that I had the computer & two lamps plugged (it has eight outlets). The cheap-ass lamps are fine. Ol' Bessie's deader than a fucking carp. Yes, many of my documents are backed-up on a disc, but none of my sent e-mails (around 17,000), none of the blog posts that I was saving-up to burn to a disc, and no photos that I'd downloaded from the camera or the 'net since October or so, when I did the backup disc. It was after that, that the peripheral burner went on the schizo-fritz.

And I do want to thank all of y'all who have so generously donated: Terrible, Mirele, Mentis, Susan, Rene', WO'C Scott, and I know that I'm forgetting somebody, so please forgive me, I will try to remedy that as soon as possible. But y'all have helped me to buy an external hard drive, so that if THIS computer ever explodes, my shit will still be SAFE, and more current than a 7-month-old CD; also, a WAY better surge-protector, this shit can NOT fucking happen TWICE.

The people who have completely blown my fucking mind and who I will spend the rest of my life trying to repay (money AND friendship and love), though, are CCMcGoon and Jobsanger. I was fully prepared to spend the next few months living on the library computers, until we could assemble the parts to Frankenstein a machine together; Mentis has more spare parts in his garage than we could probably imagine, and would show me what to do, all the way from New Zealand. But nope, those two Texans whom I love more than even Molly Ivins & Ann Richards, decided to beat me to the punch.

I am now back online solely because of their impulsive generosity and pragmatic (if somewhat bossy) kindness. Yeah, it is running VISTA (the worst cunt-fart that Microsoft has EVER created), but it's A BRAND-DAMNED NEW COMPUTER. I have never done anything, or will ever be capable of doing anything to deserve anything even remotely near to what Jobsanger & CC have done for me. I know damned well that I don't deserve friends like them, or like y'all, who have done so much for me, for all of these pathetic-as-fuck pan-handling years. Yeah, I might write a funny line here or there, but it's not like I'm saving humanity here. And yes, with the soul-sucking redneck fucktards who surround me (those allegedly related to me, or not), I would NEVER have EVER expected ANYBODY to put out that kind of an investment ON ME. Especially not with the current GLOBAL ECONOMIC COLLAPSE, and NOBODY has "job security." I'm not trying to be a narcissistic drama queen about this shit, I'm just saying that I'd much rather that I were able to do these things for Y'ALL, than to have y'all always having to put out for me, ESPECIALLY as much as CC, Jobsanger, Andy & Redcane have. There was another guy, back in the B.S. days, but he told me to fuck-off and die a long time ago.

So this is my lame-ass attempt at a thank-you to all who have given, but most especially to those two amazing human beings, stranded in the bored-titless part of Texas, where the most eventful thing is the WEATHER. I'm still learning to navigate teh Vista, but I *did* finally manage to outwit the flawed O.S. bullshit and get Firefox & Thunderbird. Now if I can get Thunderbird to open my HO-mail accounts, I will be even more thrilled. I know that I don't SOUND thrilled in this post, but I'm still in shock.

And if anybody doubts the condition of Ol' Bessie and all that she contains, lemme know, I'll send you a picture of her, but it prolly won't show much, they changed the outlet plate and pretended that there was "nothing wrong" with IT, so of COURSE the thieving, abusive, lying, embezzling racist psycho-cunts of J&M Management, "massahs" to their "plantations" of subsidized housing. Dey be de massahs, we be de slaves, ya see. Oh, no, it's not THEIR fucking fault that six years of my life is just fucking GONE, for NO GOOD FUCKING REASON, and those whores won't be putting out a fucking DIME, any faster than I expect those cocksucking pyramid-scheming bitches @ AVON to pay-up for having SCARRED MY FACE WITH CHEMICAL BURNS. It's in the hands of Traveler's insurance, so let us hope that THEY act like human beings, but them being insurers, I ain't holding my breath. I'm way the fuck behind on all of my bills this month, after a manic episode after losing Bessie. Don't worry, I've not been arrested. Yet. I should be able to stretch, if anybody in the corporate world is capable of patience and/or mercy.

SO, if anybody has any money left, and can help out, I will greatly appreciate it, and won't be accosted by those bloodthirsty, sharp-fanged psycho-cunts who play at being bill collectors. If I should disappear again, blame those rude little AT&T collect-o-cunts, all of 19 years old and think that THEY can "talk down to" ME; I won't be in jail, I hope, but they WILL cut me off in a fucking heartbeat for being late. If I ever find out where their call-center is located... Well, best not to say it in public, with those horrific mass-shootings in NY still so painfully fresh. I'd never be that violent or sloppy. I'd be much more finessed and creative...

NOW, all of that idiotic melodrama AND sincere thanks & love aside, I have a sad bit of news. My computer dying ain't shit compared to what our beloved Mentis & his family have been going through. He still won't give me a straight answer about an MRI/CT from the car-splat incident, but he soldiers on as if nothing's ever happened.

And then his dearly-beloved father-in-law, a man whom he truly respected, admired, and adored (if not in such soppy terms, obviously), whom they thought was OVER the hump with his kidney-disease nightmare, finally got to come "home" (to The Mentis Family home). And then he died. And then they couldn't get him out of the house for some reason, so they brought the casket and the proceedings into the house. This shit could only happen to Mentis, honestly. Whenever you think that YOUR life is fucktarded, weird, or possibly cursed, please remember our Crash-Test-Dummy-In-Training.

For those of you who can't e-mail Mentis or don't know him that well, here's the Plan B: when he DOES get the chance to come back and post, as he is undoubtedly, the "rock" for his whole family, please do show him some love, 'cause this guy has more than earned it. No matter what horrible or humourous or twisted/sick thing befalls him, he's still always got his chin up, blowing the injuries off, getting about business, holding everybody else together. I know that he prolly didn't want me to put this much personal stuff on the blog, but dammit, we're a family HERE, too! And as much as I love & respect all of y'all, I want y'all to feel that way about one another. For those who maintain membership but who no longer blog here, well, I guess that the love never got to them, or I didn't mix the kool-aid right. Such is life. But when one of us is hurting, then dammit, the rest of us ought to care. And Mentis truly has lost a father-figure in his life, a strong man whom he genuinely respected.

But Mentis, like CC & Jobsanger, Terrible, WO'C Scott, Mirele, Susan, and of course, the indefatigable RenB, has been an incredible and generous friend to me, both when he can help with the donations and when he can provide the most-reliable tech support I've ever gotten. I really did wanna Frankenstein a machine with Mentis, but SOME people just hadda go WAY the fuck above and beyond the call of duty, didn't y'all. Well, if I ever DO hit the fucking Powerball, they know how much their cut is gonna be, at the very least. Because they, and y'all, are the family that I always wanted and never had, except with my Nannie & Papa, Tater and whichever of the heifer nieces are speaking to me this week. And y'all stick around even when the shit hits the fan, whether I have money to spend on Y'ALL or not (usually not, obviously), and never act like y'all are doing me a "favor" by being my friends. Y'all have no idea how often that THAT little issue has come up over the years...

Okay, that's it for tonight, I've gotta go put partial-pays on my bills tomorrow, so I gotta get up at an obscenely-early hour. Love y'all. And fuck yes, Jobsanger, you ARE inimitable, and don't you fuckin' forget it!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Step #3 in Genocidal Jindal's Plan To Eradicate "The Untouchables" From Murka

Clicky on picky to see bigger, I hope. The circled part explains the "subtle" part of this step in Genocidal Jindal's plan to eradicate Untouchables (poor, disabled, elderly without money, undereducated, disenfranchised, working poor, 8th-generation free-born black New Orleanians, anybody else who's not uber-republicunt, fanatical "christian," or breed-breed-breed uterine-invader batshit-crazies, etc.) from what's left of the real Louisiana, especially the few tattered remnants of pre-Katrina New Orleans. If you're not a homeowner, FEMA & The Grayutt Stayutt Of Louisiana say that you don't deserve to get ANY help from ANY hurricane damage. If you need help with your medical care, if you don't make enough money to pay for private insurance, if you have a child born with birth defects, heart disease, brain damage, etc., if you're not GOOD ENOUGH TO PAY RETAIL {as if the wealthy EVER pay "retail"!!!}, if you don't belong to the CUNT-ry Club of Lousyana, if you didn't vote for HIS overrated, beknighted bony ass, THEN YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO LIVE. PERIOD. NOR DO YOUR DISABLED CHILDREN.

Need medicine? FUCK YOU. Kinda my "parents" approach to deciding who "deserves" medication that they need to LIVE: I had to sell and/or pawn everything saleable I had, including losing my Nannie's opal ring (the only good gift I was ever able to give her) to a low-rent hunting/sporting-goods/pawn joint, whilst I awaited my disability determination, Medicaid & Medicare, but their alcoholic, coke-freak, pseudo-"cripple," offspring-abandoning, child-molesting FELON of a Son-King, for HIM, they opened-up a fucking CHARGE ACCOUNT at the now-defunct Feliciana Health Mart. And the republicunts who owned that show went OUT OF THEIR FUCKING WAY to get Medicaid to PAY teh Fallen Uterus & Her Dick BACK for all of the TONS of meds that they didn't even pay RETAIL for, for their precious Son-King. When I'd just lost my Nannie's ring and COULD have gotten it back if I'd had that Medicaid knowledge & access to pharmaceutical reimbursement, did those two redneck pigs OPEN THEIR FUCKING MOUTHS about getting ME reimbursed, especially when I could've saved Nannie's ring?

FUCK NO. Despite having xeroxed my Medicaid and later my Medicare card and sending every single one of my following prescriptions THROUGH Medicaid & Medicare, they claim to "not have known" THAT I DESERVED TO GET THAT MONEY BACK or EVEN THAT I FUCKING ***HAD*** MEDICAID & MEDICARE, and it being THREE FUCKING YEARS LATER (Medicaid never having told me that EITHER), there was no fucking WAY IN HELL that I was gonna get that money back.
Those motherfuckers KNEW that I was hocking & selling EVERYTHING THAT I HAD, JUST TO PAY FOR ***TWO*** FUCKING PRESCIPTIONS, AND ***ALWAYS*** PAID THEM IN CASH, NEVER ***ONCE*** DID THE F.U. OR HER DICK WRITE A CHECK OR GET A CHARGE ACCOUNT FOR ***MY*** DESTROYED ASS. Those Feliciana Healthmart Hypocrites fucking KNEW my entire situation, I was in there damned near EVERY FUCKING WEEK. Fuck, they ran with the bigoted cracker sexist-pig excuse for a junior-high "principal" who had me BLACKBALLED from substitute-teaching in THE ENTIRE PARISH, they knew WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH about ME.

So this is Piyush's (PBJ, Piyush "Bobby" Jindal, ethnic cleanser, esq.) approach to those who don't "deserve" to live. FUCK 'EM. Let 'em pay retail or let 'em fucking DIE.

Step 1 was Katrina, and don't think that the republicunts, from D.C. to Chalmette, weren't in on THAT shit, from gutting the Corps of Engineers budget for five years straight to destroying the infrastructure of the entire flood & canal system of Orleans Parish. IF THERE WERE NO BLACK PEOPLE LEFT, ESPECIALLY POOR BLACK PEOPLE (as poor motherfuckers don't DESERVE TO VOTE, obviously), THERE'D BE NO SOLIDLY-DEMOCRATIC VOTING BLOC IN NEW ORLEANS TO ONCE AGAIN PREVENT THE NEXT HEIR-APPARENT, GENOCIDAL JINDAL, FROM BEING "ELECTED."

Step 2. was GUTTING THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH & HOSPITALS. I don't have the patience tonight to find you the citations, but American Zombie, Right-Hand Thief, and Katrinacrat Blog prolly have it all; also check The Gambit and NOLA.com.

ON THE VERY FUCKING DAY THAT GENOCIDAL JINDAL WAS INAUGURATED, he issued an across-the-board HIRING FREEZE, CANCELLATION OF ALL PROMOTIONS, AND A TOP-TO-BOTTOM "CLEANSING" OF THE ENTIRE FOOD STAMP, MEDICAID, AND OTHER STATE-AID ROLLS. And if they couldn't douche you COMPLETELY off of the food stamp rolls, they'd cut your food stamps/benefits down to LIVING ON RAMEN-NOODLES AND AIR LEVELS. Sixty-five dollars a month for an adult woman, but if you pop-out ONE little future-labor-slave, you still get OVER TWO HUNDRED BUCKS A MONTH.

They'd already destroyed Charity Hospital (even though the building is still standing and functional), Earl K. Long was next on the chopping block, and the rest of Huey P. Long's Charity Hospital System is not long for this world. The giant biomedical corporation (and international guinea-pig-recruiting "research facility") known as LSU has to make money and buy-up more real estate, so FUCK ANYBODY WHO NEEDS AN E.R. WITHOUT MEDICARE, MEDICAID, BLUE CROSS OR HUMANA. The EKL E.R., which I've already explained is DESIGNED TO DISCOURAGE THE POOR FROM SURVIVING ***ANY*** ILLNESS OR INJURY, will soon be gone, but the out-of-state, low-testing "medical students" won't have to go someplace DIFFICULT to get their licenses, because LSU & TULANE will ALWAYS find a place for them to "practice."

They went through EVERY name on the food stamp & medicaid rolls (though not WIC, though that's a whole other post; HOW YA GONNA KEEP 'EM DOWN ON THE FARM AND IG'NANT IF YOU DON'T KEEP 'EM BREEEEEEEEDING?!?!?!) and dumped TENS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE who suddenly "no longer QUALIFIED," even though, legally, the rules hadn't changed. They dumped hundreds of DHH employees, as if that department wasn't a clusterfuck ENOUGH, and there are now MILLIONS MORE PEOPLE FALLING THROUGH THE MEDICAL CRACKS, thanks to GENOCIDAL JINDAL.

The Baton Redneck Republicunt Rouge monopoly "newspaper" puts a Sunday headline up, "POVERTY AFFECTS HEALTH OF POOR." Well, pull me up a fucking chair, I just might faint. Where on EARTH did those billionaires EVER get the idea that POOR PEOPLE DIED FASTER, especially when you ILLEGALLY DEPRIVE THEM OF LIFE-SAVING MEDICATION AND MEDICAL CARE?!?!?!? Somebody must've written about it in the Wall Street Journal, how the corporations are having to import even MORE guest workers, 'cause without healthcare plans, feasible hours, above-slave-wages PAY, etc., THE MINIMUM-WAGE LEGALIZED-SLAVERY WORKERS WERE DROPPING LIKE FLIES, from the few jobs that hadn't already been shipped to the 3rd world.
Again, remember the phrase, "LEGALIZED SLAVERY." 'Cause that's what life for the poor & working classes has been since Reagan's massahs destroyed the unions and Bill Clinton laid down for the Republicunt "Congress" for NAFTA & CAFTA. Destroy everything that FDR & LBJ built to empower the working classes, invade underdeveloped countries, bribe the right Spanish Inquisition dictators, and you can exploit the living FUCK out of their undereducated, fearful, starving populations. No OSHA, no healthcare, no unions, no problem!

Now, before I explain Genocidal Jindal's "Ethnic" Cleansing Plan further, there are some caveats.

I am not a racist, never have been, even against the races to whom certain abusive, attempted-murderer, illiterate junkie pieces of shit have belonged, as I view them as DETRIMENTS to their respective heritages, not EMBLEMATIC of their races. And before somebody says, "And some of your best friends have been Indians," shut the fuck up. A girl who was like my little sister, named Sudeeptha (who is undoubtedly the most learned, highly-skilled chemist/chemical physicist {or whatever in the hell they call those doctoral degrees for chemical engineering} in the greater Chicago area by now), I still think of every day, as we lost touch after I left NOLA. Gopi, I haven't seen since I was last at UNO, to put up fliers for the fundraiser I did for the YWCA Battered Women's Program in 2000. He was doing great, if goofy as ever, in HIS doctoral program. Electronic engineering, far as I can remember. I wasn't as close to the pretty boy, can't recall his name right this minute, but he's probably an officer in the Indian Air Force like his dad by now.

None of them were "wealthy," though they were all of middle-class to upper-middle-class incomes; they never mentioned "Untouchables," either, and I wasn't supposed to ask. Because of their intellects and test scores, I think that all of them were at UNO on scholarships. None of them, last I heard, stayed at UNO or in Louisiana to teach or repay the karma of those scholarships, but I know that Gopi & Sudeeptha are doing good things, whereever they are, and teaching well. Biggest hearts I've ever seen in such skinny vegan bodies. Well, Little Sister wasn't quite skinny, but she had THE tiniest little hands and feet, she must've been a GODDESS back home, or if she ever went to Asia Major.

I lost touch with the other guy when my Iraqi/Arabic best bud "re-converted" to islam and he and his newly-converted-fanatical soon-to-be-bride decided that I was basically "satan" incarnate, as I had no plans of following them to the conversion, though I did wear many head scarves to help Bridezilla make it through the hijab transition. She never appreciated it, she said that I was "mocking" the fact that she'd taken the hijab for life, because I told her that she was a strong woman for being able to conceal herself every day for the rest of her life without going nuts. Yup, I'm the fucking devil. Oh, and just on the off chance that fate/the universe/leprechauns might do me a solid, I did have a santeria candle burning, to fight-off the bleeding-sigmoid-colon damage being inflicted upon me by that no-neck, punkin'-headed, bug-eyed, illiterate recidivist, dog-fucking sexist pig, knuckle-dragging redneck no-talent hack motherfucker, oughta-been-hiding-under-a-bridge, chewing-on-a-goat's-neck TROLL SUMBITCH who was killing me with verbal assaults, sexism, sexual harassment, sexual discrimination, SCREAMING AND CUSSING AND DEPRIVING ME OF SLEEP SIX DAYS A FUCKING WEEK, from when I worked at the world's shittiest oldies station, 95.7 WTKL in Metairie. I'd hoped that the candle would do to the rest of him what steroids had done to this "boss's" brain/testicles (if he had either in the first place), as he was a tiny, tiny man who lifted weights to feel "manly," and y'all ain't never SEEN 'roid rage until you've seen a VERY short man with no creativity, talent, brains, skills, intellectual abilities, voice, or human qualifications who REALLY REALLY HATES WOMEN, especially those of us who don't approach him in the proper posture of knees first, open mouth second.

Anyway, after the candle, after I'd cooked a dinner party that was "kosher" for muslims, jews/israelis, "christians," atheists, and those "vegetarians" who eat fish, and having fed THEIR PARENTS, which none of their other friends had EVER FUCKING DONE, ON ***ANY*** OF THEIR VISITS FROM RIYADH, the Miami party-girl-bisexual-turned-islamic-fanatic-bigot and the faint remnants of one of the most brilliant men I've ever known, and my favorite friend EVER to argue politics with --- they saw the candle and declared that I was no longer good enough to be their friend. Not that "christians" of every fanatical flavor, jews, wiccans, Nation of Islamites, Hindus, Taoists, Confuscious acolytes, Sikhs, Buddhists, etc., HADN'T ***ALREADY*** banished me from their lives, y'know, for being the evil atheist feminist MONSTER that I am, but this one really hurt. And the ancillary/side friends that I lost as a result of this, that really sucked, too. Even if they weren't muslim, they still sided with the newly-fanatical newly-muslims who abandoned/shunned me. Including the pretty boy.

Getting back to Genocidal Jindal: Y'all know about the Caste System of Indian culture. They claim that it doesn't exist anymore (I've not seen "Slumdog Millionaire" yet, nor any Indian {Or Anglo-Indian} films since "Bend It Like Beckham," but there's a REASON why they call those babies "SLUMDOGS.") , in this high-tech, globe-devouring "democratic" capitalist monster of a country, oh, no, there are NO problems in India, send us ALL of your jobs, nevermind the crippled child from the car bomb, he's just "atmosphere" for the celebutards who wanna feel "good" about themselves.

THE CASTE SYSTEM STILL EXISTS. It's existed all over the world, since the first cave asshole decided to drag her or his friends over to one corner, and point and whisper and snicker at the OTHER cave woman or man who didn't belong to that clique.
The British call it "the monarchy," a "royal democracy," what-have-you, now that they've been divested of most of their empire/plantations. After all, as the sun never set on the British Navy, they enslaved people of several dozen colors, allll over the world, to enhance the ease, comfort, and narcissism of THEIR lifestyles.
Well, if you were BORN LUCKY, anyway. If you weren't aristocracy, middle-class of a "respectable" line of employ, or a recently-emigrated "royal" from elsewhere (divested, exiled, or with some tattered remnants of wealth/capitalism), as the Dickens books & PBS have taught us (in case y'all's "world history" lessons were as bereft of depth as mine were), YOU WERE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED.

"Oliver!" the musical always seemed like a particularly morbid/disturbing/sickening concept, considering the underlying truths to the plot/characters/setting. Pretty fucking horrific, and that covers "David Copperfield," too. Children as idolatry/pretty tchotchkes for the wealthy/upwardly-mobile Industrial Revolutionaries, children as hookers, slaves, targets and MEAT in every other "class."

Murka ain't innocent. This country was BUILT on slavery, and we didn't just exploit our native-born and/or caucasian "unluckies"/Untouchables, either, we went and KIDNAPPED MLLIONS MORE.

Every year, in most of the South, especially here: they celebrate "Pilgrimmage," a little pomp of little circumstance, teaching and praising the antebellum age of plantations, slave bricks, Greek-Revival architecture, hoop skirts, "Scarlett O'Hara," azaleas blooming, oh, and ALL OF THE WUNNERFUL PRODUCTS OF SLAVERY, like a booming agricultural economy that could not exist WITHOUT slavery, before industrialization.
Oh, what pretty houses, what glorious furniture (though they never EVER mention that most of it was hand-crafted by FREE PEOPLE OF COLOR, FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD, BACK WHEN NEW ORLEANS WAS STILL A SMALL INDEPENDENT N. CARRIBBEAN NATION, independent of the Confederacy; if you ask ANY Louisiana History teacher in this state, ANY Murkin History teacher, especially those who stick to the Houghton-Miflin textbooks: THERE'S NEVER EVER BEEN ANY SUCH THING AS "FREE PEOPLE OF COLOR," EXCEPT THOSE SLAVES WHO ESCAPED TO THE NAWTH AND WAS RESCUED BY GOOD WHAAAT PEOPLES. Fuck you, kiddo, you been LIED TO. Look it up, and I don't just mean Anne Rice's "historical novels."), what amazing live-oak trees of 3 or 400 years (where they used to lash and hang unrepentent slaves/escapees/etc., but you'll never hear THAT on the guided tour!), oh, the fuschia and pale-pink and white azaleas, the dogwoods, the bridal wreath blooming, oh, the hummingbirds and cardinals, oh, how LOVELY it must all have been back then, with slaves to fan away the malaria mosquitoes, slaves to cook the food, slaves to do the washing and cleaning and upkeep, oh, to have lived in such a "ROMANTIC" time, blah blah de fucking blah.

It's a tourism economy (except for our sweatshops, which PBJ is trying to replicate by the hundreds, every fucking day), since we lost the dominance of cane sugar, since Ronnie Ray-Gun & GHWBush destroyed independent oil companies & unions, since the South China Sea became the dominant source of all seafood consumed in North Murka (and fuck you very much, Trent Lott, Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich, Saxby Chambliss, and every other "Southerner" who voted FOR NAFTA, CAFTA, FTAA, and the utter dissembly of the FDA & regulation of imported foods, ESPECIALLY FROM TOTALLY-TOXIC CHINA), etc.
Selling those Hollywood/NYC stereotypes of "The South," pre- or post-Katrina, pick one, they're not much different, whether they get the stories/history RIGHT or NOT (98% NOT, and if y 'all ever hire a tour guide in New Orleans, CLEAR 'EM WITH *ME* FIRST, 'CAUSE MOST OF 'EM IS FUCKING CARPETBAGGING YANKEES WHO JUST GOT THERE LAST WEEK!!!! Especially the ones in the damned buggies with those poor abused mules.) --- whoring ourselves out to ignorant tourists is about all we've got left, since the French/French-Canadian paper mill vaporized overnight, the Entergy nuclear plant mostly hires traveling technicians, and the shipping-pallet plant & U.S. Army Corps of Engineers Mat Field (concrete mats for shoring-up levees, ha ha) FIRED ALL AMERICAN LABORERS AND REPLACED THEM WITH BUSLOADS OF "GUEST WORKERS" WHO NEVER HAVE TO LEAVE. So that's the bullshit movie stereotype that we sell to the tourists, because if you tell the WHOLE truth, oh, you'll DISCOURAGE the tourists from buying SOUVENIRS!

So India and Indian descendants (Not Native American/Non-Domesticated Native "Indians") are not the only Caste System Operators. But Piyush, whilst abandoning MOST of his parents' culture, especially Hinduism, (in favor of a special brand of fanatical catholicism that encourages forcible "exorcisms" upon women who won't date him), clings to the Caste System with a bloody VENGEANCE.
When his mama got him the job (under the dumbest gubner EVER, Murphy J. "Mike" Foster, cracker moron who gives crackers a bad name) RUNNING DHH, his life's mission crystalized for him. Not just to destroy the public school system and give all the taxpayers' money to catholic/parochial/unlicensed "charismatic christian" schools, though that IS one of his higher priorities, nope, that wasn't the POINT of his life, though shoving Mary & Jeebus down all our throats IS a dominant motivation of PBJ's...

No, his life's mission is to DESTROY LOUISIANA'S DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HOSPITALS, eradicate Medicaid ENTIRELY (which also gladdens the "hearts"/wallets of all republicunts, lobbyists, the AMA, pharma monstrosities, catholic corporations operating as "non-profit" {HA!!!} hospitals, doctors' lobbyists, all ancillary industries to the medical mafiosos, AND every born-lucky bastard who's spent their lives HATING THE POOR FOR BEING STUPID ENOUGH TO BE BORN POOR, and yet unable to "achieve the Murkin Dream," somehow...), destroy sex education/condom distribution/parish health units/access to reproductive choice/prenatal nutrition & medicine for poor breeders {they need the slave labor, they don't want it to be SMART}/venereal disease prevention/HIV education {sluts DESERVE diseases, man-sluts deserve to continue to INFLICT diseases upon the she-sluts, especially if they'll KILL THEM or render them INFERTILE/IMPOTENT: white slaves aren't as popular or desirable} & prevention/dental surgery & hygiene/diabetic care for the poor/heart-disease & cancer "treatment" {CURING them would be COUNTERPRODUCTIVE for the medical corporations like LSU & Our Lady Of Perpetual Bigotry}, and generally MAKE DAMNED SURE THAT POOR PEOPLE LIVE SICKER, SHORTER, WEAKER, MORE MISERABLE LIVES, BECAUSE THEY FUCKING ***DESERVE*** IT, FOR NOT BEING BORN CONNECTED, WEALTHY, LUCKY OR LEGACIED. And, y'know, it helps keep the poor from thinking too much and gettin' uppity, thinking that they can "revolt," much less having the mental energy/accuity and physical strength/endurance to actually fucking DO IT!!!

The above document is part A of Step #3 of Genocidal Jindal's plan to kill-off/further enslave the poor through attrition, neglect, discriminatory administration of "medical care" (or not administering it AT ALL, if you're a non-breeder/non-"christian"/non-sheepul), atrophy of the infrastructure that HUEY LONG BUILT TO RAISE THE POOR PEOPLE UP TO HAVING A FAIR SHOT AT THAT MYTH OF THE "AMERICAN DREAM," and legislating the destruction of everything that Edwin W. Edwards did (especially Louisiana's first actual CONSTITUTION, as opposed to the Napoleonic Code that teh Vatican West motherfuckers want to BRING BACK) to bring Louisiana OUT OF THE THIRTEENTH CENTURY and to PRESERVE THE ACADIAN CULTURE, without which these morons wouldn't even HAVE tourists.

I've not seen a newspaper or news site today, so I can't predict at this particular moment what the part B will be, or where it will lead us to fulfill Step #4 (class warfare elevated beyond day-to-day bigotry/deprivation of employment & education to actual fear-based/paranoia-mongering CLASS WARFARE; handgun sales will rocket up faster than they did in the week following Katrina's landfall, "gated communities" will request re-zoning to move any servants/other poor/Untouchables EVEN FARTHER away from their precious McMansions, as well as destroying EVERY STICK OF HOUSING LEFT in the Lower 9, 7th & 8th Wards, the Student Ghetto & working-class chunks of Lakeview, and every other working-class and poor neighborhood in Orleans, Jefferson, St. Bernard, Tangipahoa, Livingston, and East Baton Rouge parishes; if you ain't already a homeowner, dude, you are FUCKED, 'cause what few standing public-housing units survived the 'dozer-happy demolition crews after Katrina will be MARKED AND READY FOR DESTRUCTION.
Subsidized housing will go the same way as Section-8 vouchers/duplexes/apartments have gone for the past 4 years: GONE. Even if you're already IN subsidized housing, no matter HOW SHITTY it is, that's no guarantee that you'll get to keep that roof over your head, as they "re-value" real estate and eliminate "unwanted elements" from areas that yuppie-scum rednecks want to "gentrify." First they destroy our health & lives, they take away our food, they make us desperate enough to steal, therefore furthering the agenda of and increasing the profits of the Prison Industry {public and private}, upping the fear-mongering with mugshots of only BLACK or "OTHER" arrestees {when white motherfuckers go to jail anywhere north of I-10 in Louisiana, they NEVER reveal their full identities, addresses, or mugshots UNLESS THEY'VE KILLED RICH WHITE WOMEN OR WHITE CHILDREN}),
and increasing the Grand Canyon divide between the haves and the never-hads.

Any of this sound familiar to y'all? Yes, we have passed this way before. We have suffered these indignities, wounds and libels many a time, under Hoover, Nixon, Ford, Reagan, Bush Sr., and Bush Jr. President Obama is building plan to save us, to create jobs by restoring and rebuilding the country that's been neglected for 28 years, in favor of weaponry, fake wars, wasted deaths and overpriced red china in the White House.
Morons like Genocidal Jindal, those other fucktards that have been skewered @ Tome Of The Unknown Writer, Your Right-Hand Thief, American Zombie, World O'Crap & elsewhere, they build paper tigers to fight, they elevate their egos (though not their actual status, the fools) by "rejecting" this "tax-and-spend socialism," because HEAVEN FORBID that we FIX THE CLUSTERFUCK THAT YOU MORONS AND YOUR CORPORATE MASSAHS & REPUBLICUNT FORBEARS ***CAUSED***. They might get the batshit-crazy apocalypso donors all het-up about how they'll "clean house" in 2012, but it ain't gonna work.

Sure, some appropriately-compensated "lone gunman" wingnut recruited by Biggus Dickus Himself COULD try to knock Barack Obama off, but I don't see that working for them, either. They tried with the crazy white bitch in Montana (and yes, I was CONVINCED that it would turn out to be Psycho-Cunt & her hubby Useless, until I saw actual mugshots), en route to Colorado, but thankfully, some state trooper actually did her/his job right and got ahold of the Secret Service. I will be worried about Mr. & Mrs. Obama's personal health as long as he is in office, honestly. When you're surrounded by bigoted pieces of shit who make ASSASSINATION "JOKES" ON THE DAY AFTER THE INAUGURATION, while they're ON THE JOB AT THE PHYSICAL THERAPIST'S, you really do believe that some moron will REALLY try to hurt them. Not just him, but her, too, as NOBODY in the republicunt redneck recidivist world could EVER deal with the concept of another Eleanor Roosevelt. Sure, sure, Biden's the Vice-President, but imagine if Michelle got her hands on the reins...
Hey, I like the woman, I'd dig the HELL out of HER being our next president. And I'd be a helluva lot more excited to have HER as the first Woman President than I was over Hillary for the job. Deal with it. But if the freaks really try to hurt Barack, they'll be taking Michelle out, too. That is one threatening woman, to a country chock-full of viagra-craving, no-dick, no-balls, no-guts, no-brains, misogynistic, hate-mongering old white geezers who were NOT hippies in any sense of the word. She is their worst fucking nightmare. So maybe I'm worrying too much, but look at where I live. And you can betcherass that I care every bit as much, if not more, about what happens to Michelle as I do for Barack.

PBJ is still, to him and Timmy Teepell and the Louisiana Republicunts, in it to win it, that nomination in 2012, of course. He's doing fundraisers, on state time, on state planes & helicopters, wth state troopers doing security (JUST LIKE HIS IDOL DUMBYA THE LEGACY-BOY, HE'S GONNA SPEND US INTO A HOLE, DOING "FUND-RAISING" FOR HIMSELF AND OTHER REPUBLICUNT WEASELS. How in the living FUCK is that shit even REMOTELY "LEGAL," much less "ETHICAL"?!??!?!?!?); on the CBS-affiliate republicunt Baton Redneck Republicunt Rouge "TV station," his LAMER & LIMPER THAN HIS OWN TEENY PEENY "jokes," at which the menopausal bimbo "anchor" guffaws & titters like he's CARROT-TOP {well, just as ugly; to beige-brained bimbos on republicunt propaganda machines, Carrot-Top is comedic GENIUS} --- those 'jokes' are not doing him ANY fucking "favors."
Oh, he's so BRAVE, our illlustrious gubner, to face that "unfair librul criticism" for his face-plant worldwide-broadcast speech and to MOCK HIMSELF IN THE PROCESS! How ORIGINAL! Nobody's EVER laughed at their CRITICS before, let alone THEIR OWN FAILINGS/FOIBLES/WEAKNESSES!!! He's so fucking BRILLIANT!!!

Smell the flop sweat yet, kids? It's getting mighty rank around here.

This gutting of my Medicaid benefits is not a reaction/backlash b/c of his face-plant, it's been in the works since DAY ONE, when he took the oath WITH HIS FAKE NAME and his daddy's dark skin never allowed on-camera. One Indian tradition that I think the Jindal family turned upon its head, whilst still clinging, in a technical sense, if no other, is the DOWRY. Oh, no, there'll never be a "kitchen fire" for Supriya, she is far too valuable, too beautiful, too connected, too wealthy, too "good" to have HER family pay HIS for the privilege of marrying Genocidal Jindal. I think, as I've said before, that HIS family had to shell-out BIG-TIME in order to "convince" Supriya, a beautiful, pretty intelligent (she's no Michelle Obama, by a long shot), HEAVILY CAUCASIAN-LOOKING, delicately-built, silken-haired, strong-voiced, maleable & productive Indian-American supermodel, to marry THAT CRITTER. And it would require video documentation (no, *I* won't be watching it, I've got ENOUGH horrific pictures & flashbacks in my head!), notarized depositions, and more, to convince me that Supriya & Genocidal Jindal's offspring (for THEY, truly, DESERVE to have it all, to live long and healthy lives, because they were BORN TO MONEY AND SOME MEASURE OF POWER, whereas my brain-damaged great-niece and heart-damaged great-nephew should DIE of medical neglect, thanks to REPUBLICUNTS WHO GUT MEDICAID; there's only SO MUCH that St. Jude's & Shriner's & Lion's Club hospitals can do.) WERE NOT THE PRODUCT OF TEST TUBES AND PETRI DISHES.

There's no way in hell that a girl as stuck on herself as Supriya is going to close her eyes and think of England whilst being boned/humped/unsatisfied by that bony, fugly, creepy, catechism-speaking-in-tongues, nasty little critter. I don't care WHERE his ancestry originated, I don't give a fuck how brown and/or khaki-colored he is (though it pisses me of on SEVERAL levels that we are always shown HIS VERY WHITE MOTHER, BUT ***NEVER*** HIS EVEN-DARKER-THAN-PBJ FATHER, the man who bought him the Gubner's Mansion), I don't even care what a psychotically, sociopathically CULT-OBSESSED BIGOT that he is, there will never be enough money printed upon this planet to make me believe that ANYBODY ANYWHERE, even necrophiliacs who thrive on bony corpses, would EVER wanna fuck THAT. I've been plenty drunk in my day, and I've brought home more than one triple-bagger boy (don't believe that movie myth that the ugly guys are "better people" than pretty boys; the guys you meet in one-night stands are all equally devoid of personality & character; occasionally you meet one with a personality, whether he's fugly or gorgeous, but rarely will you meet a NICE, GOOD PERSON while you're fucking them and can't remember their name) AND a triple-bagger girl or two.

But they will NEVER create/manufacture/distill enough chemicals/pharmaceutical poisons/alcohol/acid/shrooms/weed/nicotine/any other mind-altering substance to EVER have me even VAGUELY consider fucking GENOCIDAL JINDAL. Even a fat, crippled, bitter old bitch like me has to have SOME standards.

And as trite as it may sound, the ugliness on his outside TRULY reflects the ugliness on his inside, just like those racist Olde European/Germanic "Fairy Tales" always maintained. It rarely is reflected in real life, no matter what the proto-"Aryans" wanted to believe, 'cause I've known (and done) some BEAUTIFUL boys & girls who had the dessicated souls that would make mAnn Coulter look like Ann Richards. But in Genocidal Jindal's case (and I'm going to use that as often as I can, so that Google will eventually turn it into a "catch phrase"/"search result/parameter" that will drive him absofuckinglutely BATSHIT-CRAZY), it's the only way to TRULY describe the freakshow that is PBJ. He HATES poor people FOR BEING POOR, especially if they've never had even the tiniest opportunity to get a toe in the door, and he believes that they should either be treated as The Untouchables or eliminated from the earth entirely.

As I said when the form letter arrived, they start out "subtle." So did Hitler. Class warfare has now been elevated to Auschwitcz level. It won't come back to something resembling "humanity" until we are shed of the bigots, silver-spoon haters, and other Genocidal Maniacs are out of this country and hopefully off of this planet. But I don't have the patience or the resources to wait for natural causes. War Crimes convictions & hasty hangings would be highly preferred to any other "ultimate solution."

How often have Annti's predictions been wrong, when it comes to politics, especially Louisiana The Guinea Pig Cancer-Alley Test Lab politics? Follow the money, diagnose the ideology, and there you have it. We cannot let this continue to progress at its current pace, or several thousand poor & disabled people, and not just in Louisiana, will be dead before the end of the year, and they won't have a "natural disaster" lie to cover it with, but they won't be brought to account, either. History is written by those who turn on the gas at the human-sized ovens, as well as those who enable those mass-murderers to run free in the name of "science." When the guinea pigs & lab rats are people, it's not science, it's LSU Medical Corporation, it's Earl K. Long & Charity Hospital's worst carpetbaggers, it's Katrina.